Control
WOW!! I feel like my heart has been dragged across a cheese grader. God is really riding me about an issue He wants me to deal with. He is stripping back layers leaving my heart feeling exposed and raw. I feel like at any moment I am going to lose control of my emotions and fall to pieces. It is taking so much of my strength to keep myself together. I know God wants me to submit control in this area and frankly I am not really prepared for this. All morning God has been putting His finger on this issue, *sigh* no matter what I do I cant seem to get away from it. It doesnt help that today my mind is on one of its hyper theology kicks making it hard to focus on anything. In an attempt to avoid the issue I decided to preoccupy my mind by charting out all the things I have been pondering so far today and WHOA!!! the result was frightening I don't think there is a minute during the day when my mind is not pondering something. Unfortunately because I charted everything I now must find answers to everything I wrote down. In essence I just made more work for myself.