The Beautiful Downfall - An Aiba Masaki Fanfic (Chapter 19/?)
Pairing: Aiba Masaki x Kusunoki Shion (OC)
Rating: R for whole series, PG for Ch.19
Genre: Romance, Mystery Drama
Plot: Aiba Masaki (29) is the CEO of Yamakaze Hotels, Japan's top hotel chain. What began as a search for a secretary turns into a life-changing matter when he meets candidate Kusunoki Shion (26). As Shion challenges Aiba to question the only world he's ever known, she keeps to herself a dark secret that must remain undisclosed.
Author's Notes: Thanks for stopping by to read my fanfic! :D I have two ongoing series: this one, and Eyes Like Honey (Sakurai Sho fanfic). I began The Beautiful Downfall with a clear concept: I wanted to write a dark, DoS Masaki. ;) From there, I jotted down a rough storyline which became The Beautiful Downfall. Each chapter is relatively and deliberately short so they are quicker reads than my other fanfics. Although I'm not sure how many chapters will be in this series, I hope you'll stick around to the end! ❤
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18
Chapter 19: The Musings of a Fool
~
Masaki,
If you’re reading this, you’re either on your own deathbed or things have transpired that you don’t quite understand. If it’s the former, I hope you lived a life without regrets, unlike me. If it’s the latter, I think I can be of help. I know I don’t deserve your attention, so consider this letter a non-negotiable order from your predecessor. I demand that you read it. Since I’m not known for wasting time, I’ll get straight to the point.
Your late mother was deeply troubled being pursued by an extremely devoted stalker. She used to wait tables at a restaurant and he was an avid patron there. She declined his advances but that bastard was persistent. After she started dating me, he went incognito and began using a patsy to get near us. Once your mother and I got married, direct threats ceased...until we had you. He was furious when he found out your mother had died giving birth.
How does this relate to anything you’re experiencing? It’s just a CEO’s hunch, but I’m going to assume that you were either betrayed or threatened. You don’t know about this because I kept it from you, but rest assured that bastard will come after you once I’m gone. He’s been trying to destroy your life ever since you were born. I’ve kept threats at bay by not associating with you unless absolutely necessary. I know this doesn’t negate my absence as a father in your life, but it was what I needed to do to keep you safe. I’d already lost your mother; for whom would I live if I also lost you?
His name is Hosoda Noriyuki. But, I guarantee he will infiltrate the business without ever stepping foot outside his house. His right-hand man is Kinoshita Akira, a young son of a bitch whose thirst for greed knows no bounds. Additionally, from what my detectives have gathered, he has an illegitimate daughter by the name of Kusunoki Shion. She’s been living with Hosoda since she was seven, just after her mother committed suicide. If you see or hear of either name, understand that Hosoda is closing in on you. Stay safe, but be confident. I know you’ll figure out the best course of action. You are my son, after all.
One more thing about Hosoda. He owns an illegal business in Hong Kong under the name, Ruby Ventures. If you want to destroy his life, aim there. I’ve been investigating their money flow for years but I can’t seem to find corroborative evidence to my theory.
I loved your mother. So much so, that when she passed, I was never the same. The day she died was both the most devastating and most joyous day of my life.
--Your Father
P.S. Be good to Mochida. He filled the role I wished I could.
~
“What a fool…”
As I sat in the armchair Mochida had readied for me next to her bed, a mumble escaped my lips. It didn’t matter who the subject was; in fact, it might as well have been directed at myself. The impulse to sprint into that room, some would call foolish. Yet, I now knew that for those who act in love, a little bit of foolishness is a necessity. She, too, was a fool for trying to fix this problem alone. Still, a part of me wondered if her recklessness, too, stemmed from love. I looked down at my hands holding my father’s will and chuckled to myself. I had read it over and over again, here in this chair, while waiting for Kusunoki to wake. The man I had despised my entire life had, in an act of love, found a way to radically change my perception of who he was as a man and as my father.
“Mochida.”
“Yes, Young Master?” Mochida took a step forward toward me, ready to serve.
“Did you know what he had written in this letter?”
He pushed his glasses up with his fingers and smiled softly. “No… but a butler’s intuition is a reliable one.”
I nodded in agreement. “What was my mother like?”
It was not a question he was expecting. But, he cleared his throat and spoke about a woman I barely knew anything about.
“She was fiery, a strong woman with strong values. I believe that’s what attracted your father to her.”
A dry cough was my response. Perhaps I was more like my father than I wanted to believe.
“Before she went into labor, she told your father that she wanted to prioritize your life over hers. He pleaded with her to reconsider, but again, a strong woman has strong values.” He paused briefly before adding, “You are a spitting image of her, Young Master, both in appearance and personality.”
I looked down at my hands. After folding up his letter, I stared again at a single photo included in the envelope. It was taken in the delivery room. My mother, with her last remaining strength, held me tight in her arms while my father held her, one hand resting gently on my head. The image was overwhelming. Love was much more complex and multifaceted than I ever gave it credit for. A woman adored by a man had chosen to give up her life to give me mine, to give my father an heir and a will to live. It only took me three decades to realize that I had been loved my entire life.
Just then, there was a knock at the door. My doctor identified himself and entered the room. This was no hospital. Among the many unused spaces in this extravagant home was a triage room, complete with medical equipment to treat pretty much everything short of major surgery. Growing up, I never understood why we had such a facility, but Mochida filled me in on that, too: it had been used frequently by my father. As the CEO of the largest, most successful hotel empire in Japan, media was quick to report his misfortunes for money and a feigned sense of victory. Though it would be easier to simply demand a private room in a hospital, he preferred to be treated in his own home, away from paparazzi and the potential of putting my life at risk. My father’s love was certainly the vexing kind, but I was starting to learn that it was love nonetheless.
Dr. Kurihara took Kusunoki’s vitals and checked on her wounds, her breathing, and extent of recovery. He gave a quick nod and updated her chart.
“She’s in good shape. We’ll do some more tests once she wakes to make sure there’s no permanent damage to her lungs from smoke inhalation, but her vitals look good and I don’t notice any worsening symptoms. However, the burns are going to take a while to heal, even though the ER doctor performed a successful skin grafting. She should not use her hands for at least a month. The donor site should heal in a week or so.”
I wondered what had gone through Kusunoki’s head when she decided to confront her demon. My hand instinctively reached for her cheek and cradled it like a sacred treasure. What have I done? There was no one to blame but myself. If only I had cared to listen to her explanation, if only I had trusted her.
“I heard you saved her yourself, Aiba-sama. With fire, every second counts. It’s no exaggeration when I say that you saved her life.”
It was as if Dr. Kurihara could hear the self-loathing voices in my head. His consoling words took the edge off, but it didn’t change the fact that she had endured severe physical and emotional pain on my account. Her hands may never look the same, scarred forever because I was too proud to hear her side of the story. I don’t deserve her graces, let alone her trust. Here I was, sitting and waiting for her to come to, and yet, I feared what she may think upon seeing her betrayer.
“I’ll be back to check up on her in about 4 hours. If she wakes before then, please call me.”
Dr. Kurihara bowed and took his leave. From there, I wasn’t sure how much time had past. I was too worried to sleep. Mochida offered to make a light meal but I declined. Instead, I just gazed at her sleeping face and whispered her name. Kusunoki. There’s so much I want to tell you. I’d begin with an apology. Then, fill her in on her medical condition. And then…
Her eyelids twitched as a soft groan reached my ears. She took her time opening her eyes, but immediately squinted because of the ceiling lights. Mochida took immediate action and dimmed them. Then, like a seasoned butler who knows his master well, he bowed and exited the room, leaving me alone with her.
“...Hm?” She opened her eyes again halfway. I could tell she was trying to make sense of her surroundings.
“Kusunoki. Can you hear me?”
Upon recognizing my voice, she opened her heavy eyelids all the way, then slowly turned her head toward the sound. It was a look of surprise, but also of terror. It broke my heart to see.
“A...Aiba-san…” her feeble voice called for me.
“I’m right here,” I assured. “You’re safe. This is my home.”
A single tear rolled down her left eye and stopped at her temples. “...ream...”
“Hm?”
“Am I dreaming?”
I got closer to her and placed my hand on her head. “No. You were unconscious for the past 10 hours or so.”
Another tear rolled down the side of her face, then another. “...So, this is how the dream ends…”
Perhaps it was the delirium talking. I wasn’t quite sure what she meant by that.
“Kusunoki.”
Her eyes, brimming with tears, waited anxiously for what I’d say next.
“I’m sorry.”
“...What?”
“You deserve better. I should have trusted you. What happened to you is completely my fault.” I bowed my head.
She replied with a frantic sigh. “Aiba-san, no, please… please lift your head.” She tried to motion with her hands but cringed instead from the searing pain shooting through her extremities.
“I did that to you,” I pursed my lips, angry at myself. “No amount of regret or apologizing can change that fact.”
She looked down at her bandaged hands, quiet for a while. Then, as if the memories came flooding back, she darted a look my way and shook her head.
“No… I did this to myself. I deserve these scars for betraying you. No amount of regret or apologizing can change that fact.”
As suspected, she had brought this all on herself. The look in her eyes begged for forgiveness; I wondered if she could also see the remorse in mine. I had plans. I had rehearsed what I’d say in my head: the apology, the explanation, the confession. But, of course, I should have known my plans were for failure. So, without much thought, I began my speech.
“Just what were you thinking, confronting your father about a contract you didn’t sign?”
A terrified look crossed her face. “...How did you…”
“Did you think you were doing me a favor?”
“I--”
“You could have been killed!” I raised my voice.
Turns out, I was a lot more scared about losing her than I thought. Seeing her awake and responsive had subconsciously relieved me from the gripping fear of what ifs. She remained quiet, but nodded in agreement. Her gaze, now downcast toward the bed sheets covering her, seemed troubled and apologetic. Then, it hit me. She was willing to sacrifice her life for me. A vision of that delivery room photo flashed in my mind. To right her wrong, she made no compromises. She didn’t need to prove her innocence; her actions had already spoken for her.
“Why did you come rescue me…?” She mumbled, almost as if she were asking herself that question.
But, a loaded question it was. “Why do you think?”
Silence was her answer.
“Do you think I’d done such a thing if I didn’t care?” I challenged. “Only a fool would willingly risk his life and rush into a burning room to save the woman he loves.”
Her eyes fluttered side to side before capturing mine. I took a deep breath and began my lecture.
“You’re a morning person who doesn’t need a cup of coffee to get you started. If you had the choice, you’d eat five orders of Maeda-san’s TakoyaKING every day. When you’re annoyed with me, you write something down in your schedule book. You clearly enjoy cooking but haven’t been bringing your bento box to work lately. I’m worried about that. I once thought you were an expressionless robot but it seems you’re one of the most passionately loyal people I know. You wear long sleeves that cover your wrists to hide bruises you don’t deserve. You’re unabashedly frank, all business, and all heart. And your favorite color is also green.”
I could see her chest rising and falling under the blankets. Her mouth opened and a short sigh escaped her lips.
“...Aiba-san?”
I continued, just like she had lectured me before. “It is not my duty to know your preferences as my secretary.”
I got up from my chair, made my way to the bed, and sat on the edge of it.
“But it is my choice as a man to care about you.”
She bit her lips as tears rolled down the side of her face.
“You deserve to be loved, and I want to love you.”
Indeed, she makes me second guess everything I’ve known about life. A woman’s tears, I once loathed and condemned. Unproductive emotions, I disapproved my entire life. A battle I couldn’t win, I could find none. And yet, here I was at the mercy of a woman’s next line. I had surrendered myself to the whims of an unpredictable and complicated, yet unshakable desire.
“So call me a fool, because I’m not going to take ‘no’ for an answer.”
For once, she would envy the stupid woman. Her words from that night on the boat replayed in my head. No smart person would dare meddle in things like romance. They know better. As much as I hated to admit it, it would take a simpleton to have the boldness and courage to take chances on something so demanding and all-consuming. Perhaps I had been too afraid to find out what it was like to be vulnerable and exposed. Maybe the smart person is also a coward who actually wants reason to believe love doesn’t discriminate.
Slowly, I moved the hand closer to her toward her face. My fingers gently traced her hairline and followed the contour of her face, pausing at her ears, then resuming their journey down to her chin. I wiped the tears glistening on her temples.
“Kusunoki.”
“...Yes, sir?” Her voice was soft and wispy.
“Do you think you can sit up with help?”
To this, she tried moving her body herself. Without hands, however, her attempt was futile. I placed my hand at her back and scooped her up, placing more pillows behind her for comfort. I gave her a moment to collect herself, making sure she wasn’t disoriented or in pain. Then, I called for her again.
“Kusunoki.”
“Yes, sir?”
“You haven’t answered me, and you know I hate repeating myself.”
Her gaze shied away toward her bandaged hands resting neatly on her lap. I could see the emotional struggle. But, it seemed she was forgetting one, important thing.
“Do you know who I am?” I asked, raising my eyebrows assertively.
She looked my way again, slightly confused. “Aiba Masaki-san?”
“Keep going.”
Her eyes shuffled uncomfortably, uncertain if her reply would be the answer I was looking for.
“...The CEO of Yamakaze Hotels.”
I nodded. “Don’t you forget that.”
She looked more perplexed than ever. “What exactly do you mean by that, sir?”
“If you’re worried that you’d be endangering me by association, I’d suggest you not underestimate me.”
Strange. How could I have known being in love had a side effect? I felt invincible. There was an unwavering confidence in the unknown.
“Plus, I’ve got his smartest asset on my side. Does your father think he stands a chance?”
Whatever reservations she had seemed to melt away with the tears streaming down her face. She understood that her prior actions held no penalties, that all was forgiven.
“So? Don’t make me say it again.” Though my word choices were authoritative, my voice was inviting and lyrical.
“Aiba-san…”
With that, I reached for her with open arms. I held her tightly against my chest as she cried, an admission that she, too, had become a fool in the name of love. Her hair still smelled like smoke and reminded that the battle had just begun, but for now, it was enough to feel her warmth, hear her voice, call her mine.
Rating: R for whole series, PG for Ch.19
Genre: Romance, Mystery Drama
Plot: Aiba Masaki (29) is the CEO of Yamakaze Hotels, Japan's top hotel chain. What began as a search for a secretary turns into a life-changing matter when he meets candidate Kusunoki Shion (26). As Shion challenges Aiba to question the only world he's ever known, she keeps to herself a dark secret that must remain undisclosed.
Author's Notes: Thanks for stopping by to read my fanfic! :D I have two ongoing series: this one, and Eyes Like Honey (Sakurai Sho fanfic). I began The Beautiful Downfall with a clear concept: I wanted to write a dark, DoS Masaki. ;) From there, I jotted down a rough storyline which became The Beautiful Downfall. Each chapter is relatively and deliberately short so they are quicker reads than my other fanfics. Although I'm not sure how many chapters will be in this series, I hope you'll stick around to the end! ❤
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18
Chapter 19: The Musings of a Fool
~
Masaki,
If you’re reading this, you’re either on your own deathbed or things have transpired that you don’t quite understand. If it’s the former, I hope you lived a life without regrets, unlike me. If it’s the latter, I think I can be of help. I know I don’t deserve your attention, so consider this letter a non-negotiable order from your predecessor. I demand that you read it. Since I’m not known for wasting time, I’ll get straight to the point.
Your late mother was deeply troubled being pursued by an extremely devoted stalker. She used to wait tables at a restaurant and he was an avid patron there. She declined his advances but that bastard was persistent. After she started dating me, he went incognito and began using a patsy to get near us. Once your mother and I got married, direct threats ceased...until we had you. He was furious when he found out your mother had died giving birth.
How does this relate to anything you’re experiencing? It’s just a CEO’s hunch, but I’m going to assume that you were either betrayed or threatened. You don’t know about this because I kept it from you, but rest assured that bastard will come after you once I’m gone. He’s been trying to destroy your life ever since you were born. I’ve kept threats at bay by not associating with you unless absolutely necessary. I know this doesn’t negate my absence as a father in your life, but it was what I needed to do to keep you safe. I’d already lost your mother; for whom would I live if I also lost you?
His name is Hosoda Noriyuki. But, I guarantee he will infiltrate the business without ever stepping foot outside his house. His right-hand man is Kinoshita Akira, a young son of a bitch whose thirst for greed knows no bounds. Additionally, from what my detectives have gathered, he has an illegitimate daughter by the name of Kusunoki Shion. She’s been living with Hosoda since she was seven, just after her mother committed suicide. If you see or hear of either name, understand that Hosoda is closing in on you. Stay safe, but be confident. I know you’ll figure out the best course of action. You are my son, after all.
One more thing about Hosoda. He owns an illegal business in Hong Kong under the name, Ruby Ventures. If you want to destroy his life, aim there. I’ve been investigating their money flow for years but I can’t seem to find corroborative evidence to my theory.
I loved your mother. So much so, that when she passed, I was never the same. The day she died was both the most devastating and most joyous day of my life.
--Your Father
P.S. Be good to Mochida. He filled the role I wished I could.
~
“What a fool…”
As I sat in the armchair Mochida had readied for me next to her bed, a mumble escaped my lips. It didn’t matter who the subject was; in fact, it might as well have been directed at myself. The impulse to sprint into that room, some would call foolish. Yet, I now knew that for those who act in love, a little bit of foolishness is a necessity. She, too, was a fool for trying to fix this problem alone. Still, a part of me wondered if her recklessness, too, stemmed from love. I looked down at my hands holding my father’s will and chuckled to myself. I had read it over and over again, here in this chair, while waiting for Kusunoki to wake. The man I had despised my entire life had, in an act of love, found a way to radically change my perception of who he was as a man and as my father.
“Mochida.”
“Yes, Young Master?” Mochida took a step forward toward me, ready to serve.
“Did you know what he had written in this letter?”
He pushed his glasses up with his fingers and smiled softly. “No… but a butler’s intuition is a reliable one.”
I nodded in agreement. “What was my mother like?”
It was not a question he was expecting. But, he cleared his throat and spoke about a woman I barely knew anything about.
“She was fiery, a strong woman with strong values. I believe that’s what attracted your father to her.”
A dry cough was my response. Perhaps I was more like my father than I wanted to believe.
“Before she went into labor, she told your father that she wanted to prioritize your life over hers. He pleaded with her to reconsider, but again, a strong woman has strong values.” He paused briefly before adding, “You are a spitting image of her, Young Master, both in appearance and personality.”
I looked down at my hands. After folding up his letter, I stared again at a single photo included in the envelope. It was taken in the delivery room. My mother, with her last remaining strength, held me tight in her arms while my father held her, one hand resting gently on my head. The image was overwhelming. Love was much more complex and multifaceted than I ever gave it credit for. A woman adored by a man had chosen to give up her life to give me mine, to give my father an heir and a will to live. It only took me three decades to realize that I had been loved my entire life.
Just then, there was a knock at the door. My doctor identified himself and entered the room. This was no hospital. Among the many unused spaces in this extravagant home was a triage room, complete with medical equipment to treat pretty much everything short of major surgery. Growing up, I never understood why we had such a facility, but Mochida filled me in on that, too: it had been used frequently by my father. As the CEO of the largest, most successful hotel empire in Japan, media was quick to report his misfortunes for money and a feigned sense of victory. Though it would be easier to simply demand a private room in a hospital, he preferred to be treated in his own home, away from paparazzi and the potential of putting my life at risk. My father’s love was certainly the vexing kind, but I was starting to learn that it was love nonetheless.
Dr. Kurihara took Kusunoki’s vitals and checked on her wounds, her breathing, and extent of recovery. He gave a quick nod and updated her chart.
“She’s in good shape. We’ll do some more tests once she wakes to make sure there’s no permanent damage to her lungs from smoke inhalation, but her vitals look good and I don’t notice any worsening symptoms. However, the burns are going to take a while to heal, even though the ER doctor performed a successful skin grafting. She should not use her hands for at least a month. The donor site should heal in a week or so.”
I wondered what had gone through Kusunoki’s head when she decided to confront her demon. My hand instinctively reached for her cheek and cradled it like a sacred treasure. What have I done? There was no one to blame but myself. If only I had cared to listen to her explanation, if only I had trusted her.
“I heard you saved her yourself, Aiba-sama. With fire, every second counts. It’s no exaggeration when I say that you saved her life.”
It was as if Dr. Kurihara could hear the self-loathing voices in my head. His consoling words took the edge off, but it didn’t change the fact that she had endured severe physical and emotional pain on my account. Her hands may never look the same, scarred forever because I was too proud to hear her side of the story. I don’t deserve her graces, let alone her trust. Here I was, sitting and waiting for her to come to, and yet, I feared what she may think upon seeing her betrayer.
“I’ll be back to check up on her in about 4 hours. If she wakes before then, please call me.”
Dr. Kurihara bowed and took his leave. From there, I wasn’t sure how much time had past. I was too worried to sleep. Mochida offered to make a light meal but I declined. Instead, I just gazed at her sleeping face and whispered her name. Kusunoki. There’s so much I want to tell you. I’d begin with an apology. Then, fill her in on her medical condition. And then…
Her eyelids twitched as a soft groan reached my ears. She took her time opening her eyes, but immediately squinted because of the ceiling lights. Mochida took immediate action and dimmed them. Then, like a seasoned butler who knows his master well, he bowed and exited the room, leaving me alone with her.
“...Hm?” She opened her eyes again halfway. I could tell she was trying to make sense of her surroundings.
“Kusunoki. Can you hear me?”
Upon recognizing my voice, she opened her heavy eyelids all the way, then slowly turned her head toward the sound. It was a look of surprise, but also of terror. It broke my heart to see.
“A...Aiba-san…” her feeble voice called for me.
“I’m right here,” I assured. “You’re safe. This is my home.”
A single tear rolled down her left eye and stopped at her temples. “...ream...”
“Hm?”
“Am I dreaming?”
I got closer to her and placed my hand on her head. “No. You were unconscious for the past 10 hours or so.”
Another tear rolled down the side of her face, then another. “...So, this is how the dream ends…”
Perhaps it was the delirium talking. I wasn’t quite sure what she meant by that.
“Kusunoki.”
Her eyes, brimming with tears, waited anxiously for what I’d say next.
“I’m sorry.”
“...What?”
“You deserve better. I should have trusted you. What happened to you is completely my fault.” I bowed my head.
She replied with a frantic sigh. “Aiba-san, no, please… please lift your head.” She tried to motion with her hands but cringed instead from the searing pain shooting through her extremities.
“I did that to you,” I pursed my lips, angry at myself. “No amount of regret or apologizing can change that fact.”
She looked down at her bandaged hands, quiet for a while. Then, as if the memories came flooding back, she darted a look my way and shook her head.
“No… I did this to myself. I deserve these scars for betraying you. No amount of regret or apologizing can change that fact.”
As suspected, she had brought this all on herself. The look in her eyes begged for forgiveness; I wondered if she could also see the remorse in mine. I had plans. I had rehearsed what I’d say in my head: the apology, the explanation, the confession. But, of course, I should have known my plans were for failure. So, without much thought, I began my speech.
“Just what were you thinking, confronting your father about a contract you didn’t sign?”
A terrified look crossed her face. “...How did you…”
“Did you think you were doing me a favor?”
“I--”
“You could have been killed!” I raised my voice.
Turns out, I was a lot more scared about losing her than I thought. Seeing her awake and responsive had subconsciously relieved me from the gripping fear of what ifs. She remained quiet, but nodded in agreement. Her gaze, now downcast toward the bed sheets covering her, seemed troubled and apologetic. Then, it hit me. She was willing to sacrifice her life for me. A vision of that delivery room photo flashed in my mind. To right her wrong, she made no compromises. She didn’t need to prove her innocence; her actions had already spoken for her.
“Why did you come rescue me…?” She mumbled, almost as if she were asking herself that question.
But, a loaded question it was. “Why do you think?”
Silence was her answer.
“Do you think I’d done such a thing if I didn’t care?” I challenged. “Only a fool would willingly risk his life and rush into a burning room to save the woman he loves.”
Her eyes fluttered side to side before capturing mine. I took a deep breath and began my lecture.
“You’re a morning person who doesn’t need a cup of coffee to get you started. If you had the choice, you’d eat five orders of Maeda-san’s TakoyaKING every day. When you’re annoyed with me, you write something down in your schedule book. You clearly enjoy cooking but haven’t been bringing your bento box to work lately. I’m worried about that. I once thought you were an expressionless robot but it seems you’re one of the most passionately loyal people I know. You wear long sleeves that cover your wrists to hide bruises you don’t deserve. You’re unabashedly frank, all business, and all heart. And your favorite color is also green.”
I could see her chest rising and falling under the blankets. Her mouth opened and a short sigh escaped her lips.
“...Aiba-san?”
I continued, just like she had lectured me before. “It is not my duty to know your preferences as my secretary.”
I got up from my chair, made my way to the bed, and sat on the edge of it.
“But it is my choice as a man to care about you.”
She bit her lips as tears rolled down the side of her face.
“You deserve to be loved, and I want to love you.”
Indeed, she makes me second guess everything I’ve known about life. A woman’s tears, I once loathed and condemned. Unproductive emotions, I disapproved my entire life. A battle I couldn’t win, I could find none. And yet, here I was at the mercy of a woman’s next line. I had surrendered myself to the whims of an unpredictable and complicated, yet unshakable desire.
“So call me a fool, because I’m not going to take ‘no’ for an answer.”
For once, she would envy the stupid woman. Her words from that night on the boat replayed in my head. No smart person would dare meddle in things like romance. They know better. As much as I hated to admit it, it would take a simpleton to have the boldness and courage to take chances on something so demanding and all-consuming. Perhaps I had been too afraid to find out what it was like to be vulnerable and exposed. Maybe the smart person is also a coward who actually wants reason to believe love doesn’t discriminate.
Slowly, I moved the hand closer to her toward her face. My fingers gently traced her hairline and followed the contour of her face, pausing at her ears, then resuming their journey down to her chin. I wiped the tears glistening on her temples.
“Kusunoki.”
“...Yes, sir?” Her voice was soft and wispy.
“Do you think you can sit up with help?”
To this, she tried moving her body herself. Without hands, however, her attempt was futile. I placed my hand at her back and scooped her up, placing more pillows behind her for comfort. I gave her a moment to collect herself, making sure she wasn’t disoriented or in pain. Then, I called for her again.
“Kusunoki.”
“Yes, sir?”
“You haven’t answered me, and you know I hate repeating myself.”
Her gaze shied away toward her bandaged hands resting neatly on her lap. I could see the emotional struggle. But, it seemed she was forgetting one, important thing.
“Do you know who I am?” I asked, raising my eyebrows assertively.
She looked my way again, slightly confused. “Aiba Masaki-san?”
“Keep going.”
Her eyes shuffled uncomfortably, uncertain if her reply would be the answer I was looking for.
“...The CEO of Yamakaze Hotels.”
I nodded. “Don’t you forget that.”
She looked more perplexed than ever. “What exactly do you mean by that, sir?”
“If you’re worried that you’d be endangering me by association, I’d suggest you not underestimate me.”
Strange. How could I have known being in love had a side effect? I felt invincible. There was an unwavering confidence in the unknown.
“Plus, I’ve got his smartest asset on my side. Does your father think he stands a chance?”
Whatever reservations she had seemed to melt away with the tears streaming down her face. She understood that her prior actions held no penalties, that all was forgiven.
“So? Don’t make me say it again.” Though my word choices were authoritative, my voice was inviting and lyrical.
“Aiba-san…”
With that, I reached for her with open arms. I held her tightly against my chest as she cried, an admission that she, too, had become a fool in the name of love. Her hair still smelled like smoke and reminded that the battle had just begun, but for now, it was enough to feel her warmth, hear her voice, call her mine.