Aiba-chan's Recomen! Arashi Remix 11.06.2009 [TRANSLATIONS]
Okay~ I'm posting this up really quick before I have to be out again. And on a hot and humid summer day, a refreshing dose of Aiba-chan does wonders. :)
**Announcements**
a) The mini contest drawing for Nino's BayStorm 2009.10.25 has taken place. Congrats~
b) To participate in the mini contest for this set of translations, all you have to do is comment! ^^
Kind reminders:
+ My translations should NOT be used elsewhere or reposted anywhere without my consent. If you want to use my translations for something, please PM me and tell me how you intend to use them. Please respect this rule: 30-minute radio shows do take time to translate.
+ If you want to post about these translations somewhere (your own blog, forums, etc.), a link back to my page would be kindly appreciated. [ex: "I read in a Recomen translation from amnosxmatsujun that Aiba-chan..."] *thank you!
+ If you enjoyed the translations, I'd love to hear from you! :) Comments are ♥♥
Highlights from this Recomen:
# Aiba-chan scolds Chika-san. xD
# Chika-san has "trained" Aiba so well that he doesn't even need to prompt Miracle Boy to think dirty.
# Please tell me I am not the only one whose mind went straight down the gutter when Aiba starts talking about cream puffs. >.>
This particular Recomen can be found HERE @ MF. *audio credits: arashi_radio Thank you! :)
A=Aiba-chan
C=Chika-san
: Would you like to eat dinner first? Take a bath? Or… Arashi! Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Good evening, I’m Aiba Masaki from Arashi~ Good evening, Chika-san.
C: Good evening!
: Chika-san, you’re unbelievable. You haven’t even taken off your jacket.
C: Hey, you’re wearing your jacket, too, Aiba-kun.
: I’ve been reading through these letters for thirty minutes now.
C: As you should!
: Chika-san, you came in and three seconds later, this show began.
C: [laugh]
: You barely managed to turn off your cell phone just now.
C: I was outside the studio…
: You just turned it off.
C: Checking in on you.
: Whaaat?! Are you sure?
C: For the optimal time to enter. [laugh]
: But today, Chika-san…
C: Yes?
A: Three minutes before call time…
C: Ah, yes.
A: You don’t usually call me before the show but you did today.
C: Right.
A: And asked, “Wait, which studio are we in today?
C: [laugh]
A: As if you’re trying to search for excuses.
C: Right, right.
A: Like, “We’re about to begin, right?”
C: But I thought I’d just pick up right as I got here. [laugh]
A: Chika-san, let’s get this show started.
C: Let’s!
A: Which one shall we read?
C: Well, um… this is my tiger drawing.
A: Ooooh! You really DID draw one!
C: I did!
A: Oh! This is rather…
C: Tiger-esque, right?
A: Indeed, pretty tiger-esque, but…
C: Hm?
A: It looks like you rushed to draw this.
C: I drew it on the train. [laugh]
A: What did you draw on the back of?
C: Hm? What is this? This is an ad about a soccer… futsal court.
A: [laugh] On the backside of an ad?
C: [laugh]
A: You thought, “Oh, crap! I have to draw this for today” and you drew this on the train?
C: Well, well…
A: Right?
C: Yes, yes.
A: But this is pretty good, a high quality drawing.
C: It’s high quality.
A: Should we… up this on our website?
C: Sure.
A: The tiger Chika-san drew.
C: Yeah.
Staff: We’d love to.
A: And using this as the yardstick…
C: Right.
A: We’ll announce the winners tonight.
C: For you know… that! The goods. [laugh]
A: Just what exactly were those goods?
C: Um… a stand for your cell phone.
A: Keepsake goods!
C: Right, um… right? [hand gestures]
Staff: Yes.
A: Huh? You seem not to know.
C: No, I do. It’s-
A: Okay, we’ll be announcing the winners at the end of the show.
C: Do look forward to it.
A: Please do. Shall we?
C: Shall we?
A: Sure!
C: To start the show, the usual.
A: You haven’t chosen which letter to read!
C: Not true! I’ve read through these. I read them all and narrow them down. Then, I assess how you’re feeling that day and finally zone in on one.
A: Ah, so you take into consideration how excited I am?
C: Yes.
A: Then let’s get to it.
C: Okay! This…
A: Yes?
C: Whaaat?!
A: See! See!!
C: Ah, it was this one.
A: What was with that? You’re desperate to find one. What’s up?
C: Everything’s fine. This is from radio pen name Ai-paipai-san from Kumamoto. (*note: “Ai” is from ‘Aiba’, “paipai” means ‘boobies’)
A: [laugh] Thank you!
C: “You’re waiting for someone.”
A: Okay.
C: “How long did it take for that person to meet up with you?”
A: That depends on who it is. Someone close to me?
C: Hm…
A: Let’s say it is.
C: Mm…
A: Five minutes later.
C: Five minutes later?
A: Yes.
C: That’s it?
A: Yes.
C: Gotcha. “What the amount of time means…”
A: Yes?
C: “Is the longest you’ve struggled in the bathroom.” So it says.
A/C: Ooooh!
C: That’s a rather short time, I think.
A: Oh, but I think I’m quick.
C: Yeah. People who take a long time work at it for thirty minutes.
A: I can’t understand that at all.
C: Me, neither.
A: Sometimes, when you go to TV station offices, there are assistant directors who I think are fast asleep in those stalls, no?
C: [laugh]
A: I’m thinking, “Are they still in there?”
C: That’s true.
A: Right?
C: Yeah.
A: But I guess… people who take a long time, take a long time.
C: I guess so.
A: Alright, Chika-san.
C: Yes?
A: Rev up your engines, okay?
C: Let’s do this!
A: Let’s get started. Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Good evening once again. This is Aiba Masaki from Arashi. This show is brought to you from Bunka housou in Hamamatsu city and broadcasted nationwide. Without delay, here’s the first number for the evening. This is Arashi’s 28th single, it’s a new one. Please give it a listen, this is “My Girl”.
[Arashi - “My Girl”]
A: Here’s a newsflash for your ears: CHECKMATE~! Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! I get it now: Hougen Quiz (*dialects quiz)! We’ve received lots of dialectical words and phrases from all over Japan. I’m going to try and figure out what these mean through a series of question-and-answer sessions~!
C: Right.
A: Did we get mail?
C: We did~!
A: Let’s begin.
C: Let’s. This one’s a well-known one, so you might get it right away. If that’s the case, go ahead and answer it.
A: Sure.
C: This is from radio pen name… Akari-san, I think, from Gifu.
A: Thank you very much.
C: “Well! ‘Yattokame’!”
A: Oh, “yattokame”! I’ve heard that one before!
C: Mm-hmm. This person is from Gifu, but this is widely used in Nagoya.
A: Oh, I got it!
C: Yes?
A: “Long time, no see”.
C: Bingo! Right.
A: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
C: You write it as “has been eighty days” and read it as “yattokame”. (*note: the kanji characters look like this: 八十日目, where 八 reads ‘ya’, 十 reads ‘tto’, 日 reads ‘ka’, and 目 reads ‘me’)
A: Oh, really?
C: Yes. So-
A: “Yattokame~”
C: So it must feel like it has been eighty days since the last meeting.
A: I see~! Shall we go on?
C: We shall. This is from radio pen name Shiina-san from Yamagata.
A: Thank you.
C: This is a Yamagata dialect. “Whoa! ‘Yabachi’!”
A: “Yabachi”?
C: This is something someone says as a reaction to some occurrence.
A: It’s not a reaction, right?
C: It is.
A: It is?
C: It is. When do you use it, is the question.
A: That’s what this quiz is about?
C: Right. When do you use it?
A: “It’s hot”?
C: Oh, it’s the opposite!
A: “It’s cold”.
C: [laugh] Um… the answer is…
A: “It’s hot”? “It’s thick”? (*note: In Japanese, “atsui” means ‘hot’ as well as ‘thick’, as in width)
C: This is what you say when something like cold water splashes you.
A: I see~
C: “You can also use it when it’s not cold,” it says.
A: So you can use it if it’s hot, too?
C: Hot?
A: Can you only use this when it concerns water?
C: I think she means all liquids.
A: [laugh] Liquids only?!
C: So this person from Yamagata…
A: I can’t think of anything other than water.
C: But there’s no equivalent of this term in Tokyo, something you say when liquid splashes on you.
A: [laugh] There isn’t.
C: Right? So in Yamagata…
A: Probably water, or…
C: When liquid splashes on you, you say “yabachi”.
A: Really… would you use it for oil, too? When you’re cooking? It seems you could use “yabai” in this case, wouldn’t you say? (*note: means ‘yikes’)
C: That’s true.
A: Let’s move on.
C: Um… “This is an Okinawa dialect.”
A: Okay.
C: So it says, but this is from radio pen name Million no Arashi-san from Chiba.
A: Thank you very much.
C: Thank you. “Hey, he’s ‘nurun tsurun’.”
A: [laugh] I think your intonation’s off. Are you sure that’s right?
C: [laugh] This…
A: You’re saying it in a way so it sounds funny.
C: You use this to describe someone.
A: “I’ve been like a sloth lately”? Something like that?
C: Oh… that’s kinda close. It means “idling away”.
A: Oooh…
C: Or “useless”, is what it means.
A: I’ve been guessing them right today!
C: You have!
A: My accuracy percentage is pretty good!
C: It’ll gradually get more difficult.
A: Okay.
C: This is a Yamagata dialect.
A: Got it.
C: This is from radio pen name Ako-san from Yamagata.
A: Thank you!
C: “‘Musakari’”. “Tomorrow is my friend’s ‘musakari’.”
A: Huh? “Tomorrow is my friend’s…”
C: It could be a family members’, too.
A: A family members’? “Tomorrow is my dad’s ‘musakari’!”
C: Hm, you don’t hear about a dad’s ‘musakari’ often.
A: How about a mom’s?
C: A daughter’s ‘musakari’, perhaps, or… a coworker’s ‘musakari’.
A: Oh! … ‘Musakari’?
C: Yes. Oh, I’m sorry! It was ‘mukasari’!
A: [laugh] Look…
C: It’s a dialectical term, so it’s hard.
A: [laugh] Look. This goes back to how you think you can rush in here and start this show…
C: No, no, no!
A: I think your excitement level was inappropriate.
C: [laugh] No, no, no! That’s-
A: That’s what led to this mishap.
C: It was ‘mukasari’.
A: I got it. “Seijinshiki”. (*note: a coming-of-age ceremony for those who have reached 20 years of age)
C: Aww…
A: “Shichi-go-san”? (*note: a rite of passage ceremony for three and five-year-old boys and three and seven-year-old girls)
C: Darn!
A: “Commencement ceremony”?
C: You’re right about it being some kind of anniversary.
A: “Wedding anniversary”?
C: Oh!!
A: Close? “A wedding”?
C: Bingo!
A: I see~ let’s go to the next one.
C: Shall we move on? [laugh] “The other day on TV…” This is by radio pen name Yukko-san from Shimane. “Matsuyama Kenichi-san was on TV, and he was speaking about the Aomori dialect.”
A: Okay.
C: Matsuyama Kenichi-san is from Aomori, right?
A: Yes, yes. That’s correct.
C: What does this dialectical phrase mean? “‘Unko dekai’”. (*note: in standard Japanese, this phrase means ‘That’s a big piece of poop’)
A: “Unko dekai”?!
C: In fact, “unko” means exactly what it means. [laugh] (*note: means ‘poop’)
A: Oh, “unko” means “unko”?!
C: [laugh] That’s right.
A: For real?
C: “Teacher!”
A: “I want to poop”?
C: Bingo!
A: [laugh]
C: That’s right. [laugh]
A: [laugh] I’m really hitting the nail with these today. What’s going on, Chika-san?
C: [laugh] This… you use this when you want to go to the bathroom, when you want to go poop. They say, “unko dekai”.
A: Should we move on to a difficult one?
C: An even more difficult one?
A: Yes.
C: Really… then how about a Miyagi dialect?
A: Sure.
C: “Today, I ‘peronko’.” (*note: this sounds like an onomatopoeia that means ‘to lick up’)
A: [laugh] Here we go! You love these, Chika-san~
C: [laugh] What?!
A: [laugh] Don’t “what?!” me!
C: [laugh] Is this the perverted segment?
A: [laugh] So much for perverted segment! You’re just a pervert, Chika-san, so this was bound to happen.
C: [laugh] No, no, no! That’s not true.
A: “I ‘peronko’”?
C: If you think in that direction, you won’t get this one right.
A: “Peronko”?
C: It’s-
A: Who uses it? Usually.
C: Well… normal people wouldn’t do this.
A: “Peronko”?
C: It’s illegal. This is from Shii-chan in Miyagi. I guess there are people who “peronko” in Miyagi.
A: This is really hard! I don’t know at all.
C: It’s neither a bicycle nor a car. I bet there are some people who already got it.
A: I don’t get it at all.
C: You can’t “peronko” on the train.
A: Grope!
C: [laugh]
A: [laugh] And say, “I ‘peronko’”.
C: [laugh]
A: [laugh] You’d get caught.
C: [laugh] You would.
A: Right?
C: But it doesn’t mean ‘to grope’. You “peronko” on the train.
A: “Ride without paying”?
C: That’s right.
A: “Without paying the fare”?
C: “Ride without paying the fare”. That’s right! To ride for free.
A: Really…
C: Why do they say “peronko”? [laugh]
A: [laugh] Like they “snuck on”, right?
C: I guess so.
A: Cunningly.
C: Yeah.
A: Well! I hope they’ll stop doing that.
C: Yes.
A: And that’s what “peronko” means? I see.
C: Were those enough?
A: [laugh] I guess so!
C: Let’s stop there? [laugh]
A: You’re certainly rushing things today!
C: No, no!
A: But that was fun. So everyone… please send in your dialects to our show. The e-mail address is Arashi@joqr.net!
A: After the kids have gone to bed, listen in quietly! Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Oshiete Aiba-chan! (*Tell us, Aiba-chan!) Here, I’ll answer questions you’ve sent in via postcards~! Here we go!
C: Let’s.
A: This is from radio pen name Rina-san from Aichi: “I’ve a question for you. When you finish performing a concert, how much weight have you lost? When I went to see your concert at Kokuritsu, I lost 5kg. I’m curious to find out how much you all lose, what with all the singing and dancing.” Five kilograms?! That’s insane.
C: Indeed.
A: In three hours.
C: She must have been jumping up and down for the whole three hours.
A: But us… we replenish the amount of fluids we sweat off. So… I’d think it’d only be a matter of a couple hundred grams, if we were to lose any weight at all.
C: True.
A: Yeah… okay, let’s move on. This is from radio pen name Mai-chan from Saitama: “I ate a cream puff recently. The first bite is fine, but from the second bite onward, if I take a bite from the right side, the cream comes out the left end. If I eat it from the right side [laugh], the cream comes out the left side (*note: the listener repeated herself, but she probably meant “When I bit the left side, cream came out from the right end”). When I took a bite from the center, the cream oozed out from both ends. I’ve spilled the cream countless times. Do you know a good way for eating cream puffs?”
C: Hm…
A: If you take a bite from the right side, the cream will come out of the left side, but before it comes out, you suck up the cream.
C: Exactly.
A: So there’s the puff part and the cream part… if you mix those two parts in your mouth, it becomes a cream puff, anyway.
C: That’s right.
A: Right?
C: Yes.
A: So… I guess it’s a race against time when you eat cream puffs.
C: Mm.
A: Eating cream puffs is a sport. Right, moving on.
C: [laugh]
A: Um… this is from radio pen name Sachirin-san from Tokyo: “It has gotten pretty chilly lately. I’m thinking of bringing out the heated rug. Are you the kotatsu type or the heated rug type?” (*note: kotatsu is a low table with a heating device attached on the bottom side; it is covered over with a futon and keeps your legs warm during the winter) Hm… I don’t have either. I really wanted a kotatsu, but if I had one, I’d never come out of it.
C: Mm.
A: I feel like I’d rely on it too much.
C: True.
A: We have a kotatsu back at my parent’s, but when I go to visit, I don’t want to get out of there. It’s so warm!
C: True. If we’re talking about kotatsu, I want the kind that’s dug into place. (*note: “horigotatsu” is a kind of kotatsu that is built into the house; you can sit down as if you were sitting on a chair because the floor underneath the table is dug deeper than the other parts of the house) Otherwise, my lower back starts to hurt.
A: Oh… must be age?
C: Must be.
A: [laugh] But there aren’t many houses with those kinds of kotatsu.
C: Not…
A: Well, because…
C: Very many.
A: You’d have to dig the place a bit, right? [laugh]
C: You do. You couldn’t do that in an apartment.
A: True, the person living below you would have their ceiling hang low.
C: Yeah.
A: That’s troublesome. Maybe I’ll buy one of the two this year! What about a gas stove?
C: Well, it’s a stove.
A: One of those heater things, you know, how do I put it? An electric heater?
C: Oh, like a column heater.
A: Yeah.
C: They say column heaters are nice because they don’t dry up the air around you.
A: That’s a good aspect of them. What do you use, Chika-san?
C: A gas fan heater. (*note: this is a gas stove with a built-in fan)
A: Well, I was merely asking.
C: [laugh]
A: Right! I’d like to play a song now, but what should we play? It’s getting chilly, so a song that warms you up would be nice.
C: Yes.
A: A famous song one wants to listen to in the cold.
C: Right.
A: They want to hear it.
C: Yes.
A: Oh, I’ll go with this. Please give it a listen. This is Arashi’s “WISH”.
[Arashi - “WISH”]
A: Send your postcards to Bunka Housou Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix!, Zip code 105-8002. E-mail address: Arashi@joqr.net. Please put the name of the segment in the subject. You can also send us a message through the Bunka Housou website on your cell phone. It’s time to close up the program~! So shall we get to the well-awaited event?
C: We shall!
A: These are keepsake goods from “Everything”. Ten winners will receive a cell phone stand. To participate, we asked you to send postcards with tiger drawings on them. In response to such request, our listeners stepped up. For those who sent in your postcards, thank you! We’d like to choose ten of you from this pile. This is hard to choose!
C: Wow.
A: Everyone-
C: They’re all very good!
A: Everyone took their time and effort into this and sent ‘em in. But…
C: Hm?
A: Could you hand me the Tora-san one? (*note: this is the nickname of a famous character in the long-running TV series, Otoko wa Tsurai yo; the character’s full name is Kuruma Torajiro, and was played by Atsumi Kiyoshi)
C: This one… is amazing. [laugh]
A: This one’s amazing!
C: A portrait of Atsumi Kiyoshi-san!
A: Yes!
C: [laugh]
A: This one is just… outstanding!
C: Indeed.
A: So let’s… pick this one as one of the winners, yes? No objections, everyone?
C: No objections.
A: This one was by radio pen name… Erina-chan from Hachiouji, Tokyo!
C: Right!
A: Congratulations!
C: Congratulations!
A: And? I want to choose that one, too.
C: This one?
A: How did they draw this one? They used colors…
C: This is a realistic one.
A: A realistic tiger, indeed!
C: A tiger.
A: It’s pink… uh, they painted the postcard pink, and on top of that, they used blue, light blue, and yellow to draw the tiger. This is by radio pen name Misaki-chan from Fukuoka, congrats!
C: Yes.
A: Alright, let’s keep pickin’. Oh, this hari-e. (*note: a collage made from torn, colored paper, similar to a paper collage) What do you think?
C: Oh, there are people who prefer the hari-e style.
A: There are. Let’s keep this one. This one from Okayama is by… how do you read this?
C: Eri-chan.
A: Eri-chan! Congratulations.
C: Yes.
A: That’s three.
C: She used gold origami paper to make the tiger.
A: Oh, this one’s nice. Looks like a tiger mask.
C: Wow!
A: Right?
C: It’s very girly!
A: It even says so. This one was sent from Tokyo.
C: [laugh]
A: How do you read this?
C: Um…
A: This is hard.
C: Umm… “something-ka”-chan? [laugh]
A: Which “something-ka”-chan could it be?
C: “Something-ka”-chan.
A: Do look forward to it!
C: [laugh]
A: Congrats, “something-ka”-chan!
Staff: [laugh]
A: Who else?
C: Oh! One half is Aiba-kun…
A: The other half is a tiger.
C: Whoa.
A: This one… right? The design is interesting.
C: Oh? Did they write their name and address?
A: They did! This is from radio pen name Airi-chan from Okayama, congratulations!
C: Congrats!
A: Five more. Yikes, yikes! The show’s gunna end, the show’s gunna end.
C: This’ll go on-
A: We really can’t choose! There are so many who drew-this one’s amazing. A collaboration. A collaboration between Doraemon and a tiger. Maaan! Okay, Chika-san. Pick your favorite.
C: Okay, then… this person made it somewhat like an embroidery patch.
A: Oooh, nice.
C: This one is from radio pen name Miho-chan in Sapporo.
A: Congratulations! That’s six.
C: Also…
A: That was six, right?
C: This one from radio pen name Mami-chan in Saitama is a hari-e as well, but it’s nice. She took different shades of brown and yellow and pieced them together.
A: Wow, congrats!
C: Right, a “kitty tiger”, it says.
A: And? Okay, I’m just going to pick at random. How many more?
C: Let’s see… one, two, three, four-three more!
A: Maaan, and there are some who used real photos. Wow! … Alright! I pick these three. Um… this one is from radio pen name anaka-chan from Osaka. Congratulations.
C: Congrats.
A: And? Radio pen name Yuka-chan from Chiba, congrats!
C: Congratulations.
A: And radio pen name Mai-chan from Okayama, congrats!
C: Congrats~!
A: Thank you very much, everyone! Uh… next week.
C: Yes?
A: I hope they listen in next week, also.
C: Agreed.
A: Alright. This was Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix. Your radio partner was Aiba Masaki from Arashi. See you next week, bye-bye!
**Announcements**
a) The mini contest drawing for Nino's BayStorm 2009.10.25 has taken place. Congrats~
b) To participate in the mini contest for this set of translations, all you have to do is comment! ^^
Kind reminders:
+ My translations should NOT be used elsewhere or reposted anywhere without my consent. If you want to use my translations for something, please PM me and tell me how you intend to use them. Please respect this rule: 30-minute radio shows do take time to translate.
+ If you want to post about these translations somewhere (your own blog, forums, etc.), a link back to my page would be kindly appreciated. [ex: "I read in a Recomen translation from amnosxmatsujun that Aiba-chan..."] *thank you!
+ If you enjoyed the translations, I'd love to hear from you! :) Comments are ♥♥
Highlights from this Recomen:
# Aiba-chan scolds Chika-san. xD
# Chika-san has "trained" Aiba so well that he doesn't even need to prompt Miracle Boy to think dirty.
# Please tell me I am not the only one whose mind went straight down the gutter when Aiba starts talking about cream puffs. >.>
This particular Recomen can be found HERE @ MF. *audio credits: arashi_radio Thank you! :)
A=Aiba-chan
C=Chika-san
: Would you like to eat dinner first? Take a bath? Or… Arashi! Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Good evening, I’m Aiba Masaki from Arashi~ Good evening, Chika-san.
C: Good evening!
: Chika-san, you’re unbelievable. You haven’t even taken off your jacket.
C: Hey, you’re wearing your jacket, too, Aiba-kun.
: I’ve been reading through these letters for thirty minutes now.
C: As you should!
: Chika-san, you came in and three seconds later, this show began.
C: [laugh]
: You barely managed to turn off your cell phone just now.
C: I was outside the studio…
: You just turned it off.
C: Checking in on you.
: Whaaat?! Are you sure?
C: For the optimal time to enter. [laugh]
: But today, Chika-san…
C: Yes?
A: Three minutes before call time…
C: Ah, yes.
A: You don’t usually call me before the show but you did today.
C: Right.
A: And asked, “Wait, which studio are we in today?
C: [laugh]
A: As if you’re trying to search for excuses.
C: Right, right.
A: Like, “We’re about to begin, right?”
C: But I thought I’d just pick up right as I got here. [laugh]
A: Chika-san, let’s get this show started.
C: Let’s!
A: Which one shall we read?
C: Well, um… this is my tiger drawing.
A: Ooooh! You really DID draw one!
C: I did!
A: Oh! This is rather…
C: Tiger-esque, right?
A: Indeed, pretty tiger-esque, but…
C: Hm?
A: It looks like you rushed to draw this.
C: I drew it on the train. [laugh]
A: What did you draw on the back of?
C: Hm? What is this? This is an ad about a soccer… futsal court.
A: [laugh] On the backside of an ad?
C: [laugh]
A: You thought, “Oh, crap! I have to draw this for today” and you drew this on the train?
C: Well, well…
A: Right?
C: Yes, yes.
A: But this is pretty good, a high quality drawing.
C: It’s high quality.
A: Should we… up this on our website?
C: Sure.
A: The tiger Chika-san drew.
C: Yeah.
Staff: We’d love to.
A: And using this as the yardstick…
C: Right.
A: We’ll announce the winners tonight.
C: For you know… that! The goods. [laugh]
A: Just what exactly were those goods?
C: Um… a stand for your cell phone.
A: Keepsake goods!
C: Right, um… right? [hand gestures]
Staff: Yes.
A: Huh? You seem not to know.
C: No, I do. It’s-
A: Okay, we’ll be announcing the winners at the end of the show.
C: Do look forward to it.
A: Please do. Shall we?
C: Shall we?
A: Sure!
C: To start the show, the usual.
A: You haven’t chosen which letter to read!
C: Not true! I’ve read through these. I read them all and narrow them down. Then, I assess how you’re feeling that day and finally zone in on one.
A: Ah, so you take into consideration how excited I am?
C: Yes.
A: Then let’s get to it.
C: Okay! This…
A: Yes?
C: Whaaat?!
A: See! See!!
C: Ah, it was this one.
A: What was with that? You’re desperate to find one. What’s up?
C: Everything’s fine. This is from radio pen name Ai-paipai-san from Kumamoto. (*note: “Ai” is from ‘Aiba’, “paipai” means ‘boobies’)
A: [laugh] Thank you!
C: “You’re waiting for someone.”
A: Okay.
C: “How long did it take for that person to meet up with you?”
A: That depends on who it is. Someone close to me?
C: Hm…
A: Let’s say it is.
C: Mm…
A: Five minutes later.
C: Five minutes later?
A: Yes.
C: That’s it?
A: Yes.
C: Gotcha. “What the amount of time means…”
A: Yes?
C: “Is the longest you’ve struggled in the bathroom.” So it says.
A/C: Ooooh!
C: That’s a rather short time, I think.
A: Oh, but I think I’m quick.
C: Yeah. People who take a long time work at it for thirty minutes.
A: I can’t understand that at all.
C: Me, neither.
A: Sometimes, when you go to TV station offices, there are assistant directors who I think are fast asleep in those stalls, no?
C: [laugh]
A: I’m thinking, “Are they still in there?”
C: That’s true.
A: Right?
C: Yeah.
A: But I guess… people who take a long time, take a long time.
C: I guess so.
A: Alright, Chika-san.
C: Yes?
A: Rev up your engines, okay?
C: Let’s do this!
A: Let’s get started. Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Good evening once again. This is Aiba Masaki from Arashi. This show is brought to you from Bunka housou in Hamamatsu city and broadcasted nationwide. Without delay, here’s the first number for the evening. This is Arashi’s 28th single, it’s a new one. Please give it a listen, this is “My Girl”.
[Arashi - “My Girl”]
A: Here’s a newsflash for your ears: CHECKMATE~! Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! I get it now: Hougen Quiz (*dialects quiz)! We’ve received lots of dialectical words and phrases from all over Japan. I’m going to try and figure out what these mean through a series of question-and-answer sessions~!
C: Right.
A: Did we get mail?
C: We did~!
A: Let’s begin.
C: Let’s. This one’s a well-known one, so you might get it right away. If that’s the case, go ahead and answer it.
A: Sure.
C: This is from radio pen name… Akari-san, I think, from Gifu.
A: Thank you very much.
C: “Well! ‘Yattokame’!”
A: Oh, “yattokame”! I’ve heard that one before!
C: Mm-hmm. This person is from Gifu, but this is widely used in Nagoya.
A: Oh, I got it!
C: Yes?
A: “Long time, no see”.
C: Bingo! Right.
A: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
C: You write it as “has been eighty days” and read it as “yattokame”. (*note: the kanji characters look like this: 八十日目, where 八 reads ‘ya’, 十 reads ‘tto’, 日 reads ‘ka’, and 目 reads ‘me’)
A: Oh, really?
C: Yes. So-
A: “Yattokame~”
C: So it must feel like it has been eighty days since the last meeting.
A: I see~! Shall we go on?
C: We shall. This is from radio pen name Shiina-san from Yamagata.
A: Thank you.
C: This is a Yamagata dialect. “Whoa! ‘Yabachi’!”
A: “Yabachi”?
C: This is something someone says as a reaction to some occurrence.
A: It’s not a reaction, right?
C: It is.
A: It is?
C: It is. When do you use it, is the question.
A: That’s what this quiz is about?
C: Right. When do you use it?
A: “It’s hot”?
C: Oh, it’s the opposite!
A: “It’s cold”.
C: [laugh] Um… the answer is…
A: “It’s hot”? “It’s thick”? (*note: In Japanese, “atsui” means ‘hot’ as well as ‘thick’, as in width)
C: This is what you say when something like cold water splashes you.
A: I see~
C: “You can also use it when it’s not cold,” it says.
A: So you can use it if it’s hot, too?
C: Hot?
A: Can you only use this when it concerns water?
C: I think she means all liquids.
A: [laugh] Liquids only?!
C: So this person from Yamagata…
A: I can’t think of anything other than water.
C: But there’s no equivalent of this term in Tokyo, something you say when liquid splashes on you.
A: [laugh] There isn’t.
C: Right? So in Yamagata…
A: Probably water, or…
C: When liquid splashes on you, you say “yabachi”.
A: Really… would you use it for oil, too? When you’re cooking? It seems you could use “yabai” in this case, wouldn’t you say? (*note: means ‘yikes’)
C: That’s true.
A: Let’s move on.
C: Um… “This is an Okinawa dialect.”
A: Okay.
C: So it says, but this is from radio pen name Million no Arashi-san from Chiba.
A: Thank you very much.
C: Thank you. “Hey, he’s ‘nurun tsurun’.”
A: [laugh] I think your intonation’s off. Are you sure that’s right?
C: [laugh] This…
A: You’re saying it in a way so it sounds funny.
C: You use this to describe someone.
A: “I’ve been like a sloth lately”? Something like that?
C: Oh… that’s kinda close. It means “idling away”.
A: Oooh…
C: Or “useless”, is what it means.
A: I’ve been guessing them right today!
C: You have!
A: My accuracy percentage is pretty good!
C: It’ll gradually get more difficult.
A: Okay.
C: This is a Yamagata dialect.
A: Got it.
C: This is from radio pen name Ako-san from Yamagata.
A: Thank you!
C: “‘Musakari’”. “Tomorrow is my friend’s ‘musakari’.”
A: Huh? “Tomorrow is my friend’s…”
C: It could be a family members’, too.
A: A family members’? “Tomorrow is my dad’s ‘musakari’!”
C: Hm, you don’t hear about a dad’s ‘musakari’ often.
A: How about a mom’s?
C: A daughter’s ‘musakari’, perhaps, or… a coworker’s ‘musakari’.
A: Oh! … ‘Musakari’?
C: Yes. Oh, I’m sorry! It was ‘mukasari’!
A: [laugh] Look…
C: It’s a dialectical term, so it’s hard.
A: [laugh] Look. This goes back to how you think you can rush in here and start this show…
C: No, no, no!
A: I think your excitement level was inappropriate.
C: [laugh] No, no, no! That’s-
A: That’s what led to this mishap.
C: It was ‘mukasari’.
A: I got it. “Seijinshiki”. (*note: a coming-of-age ceremony for those who have reached 20 years of age)
C: Aww…
A: “Shichi-go-san”? (*note: a rite of passage ceremony for three and five-year-old boys and three and seven-year-old girls)
C: Darn!
A: “Commencement ceremony”?
C: You’re right about it being some kind of anniversary.
A: “Wedding anniversary”?
C: Oh!!
A: Close? “A wedding”?
C: Bingo!
A: I see~ let’s go to the next one.
C: Shall we move on? [laugh] “The other day on TV…” This is by radio pen name Yukko-san from Shimane. “Matsuyama Kenichi-san was on TV, and he was speaking about the Aomori dialect.”
A: Okay.
C: Matsuyama Kenichi-san is from Aomori, right?
A: Yes, yes. That’s correct.
C: What does this dialectical phrase mean? “‘Unko dekai’”. (*note: in standard Japanese, this phrase means ‘That’s a big piece of poop’)
A: “Unko dekai”?!
C: In fact, “unko” means exactly what it means. [laugh] (*note: means ‘poop’)
A: Oh, “unko” means “unko”?!
C: [laugh] That’s right.
A: For real?
C: “Teacher!”
A: “I want to poop”?
C: Bingo!
A: [laugh]
C: That’s right. [laugh]
A: [laugh] I’m really hitting the nail with these today. What’s going on, Chika-san?
C: [laugh] This… you use this when you want to go to the bathroom, when you want to go poop. They say, “unko dekai”.
A: Should we move on to a difficult one?
C: An even more difficult one?
A: Yes.
C: Really… then how about a Miyagi dialect?
A: Sure.
C: “Today, I ‘peronko’.” (*note: this sounds like an onomatopoeia that means ‘to lick up’)
A: [laugh] Here we go! You love these, Chika-san~
C: [laugh] What?!
A: [laugh] Don’t “what?!” me!
C: [laugh] Is this the perverted segment?
A: [laugh] So much for perverted segment! You’re just a pervert, Chika-san, so this was bound to happen.
C: [laugh] No, no, no! That’s not true.
A: “I ‘peronko’”?
C: If you think in that direction, you won’t get this one right.
A: “Peronko”?
C: It’s-
A: Who uses it? Usually.
C: Well… normal people wouldn’t do this.
A: “Peronko”?
C: It’s illegal. This is from Shii-chan in Miyagi. I guess there are people who “peronko” in Miyagi.
A: This is really hard! I don’t know at all.
C: It’s neither a bicycle nor a car. I bet there are some people who already got it.
A: I don’t get it at all.
C: You can’t “peronko” on the train.
A: Grope!
C: [laugh]
A: [laugh] And say, “I ‘peronko’”.
C: [laugh]
A: [laugh] You’d get caught.
C: [laugh] You would.
A: Right?
C: But it doesn’t mean ‘to grope’. You “peronko” on the train.
A: “Ride without paying”?
C: That’s right.
A: “Without paying the fare”?
C: “Ride without paying the fare”. That’s right! To ride for free.
A: Really…
C: Why do they say “peronko”? [laugh]
A: [laugh] Like they “snuck on”, right?
C: I guess so.
A: Cunningly.
C: Yeah.
A: Well! I hope they’ll stop doing that.
C: Yes.
A: And that’s what “peronko” means? I see.
C: Were those enough?
A: [laugh] I guess so!
C: Let’s stop there? [laugh]
A: You’re certainly rushing things today!
C: No, no!
A: But that was fun. So everyone… please send in your dialects to our show. The e-mail address is Arashi@joqr.net!
A: After the kids have gone to bed, listen in quietly! Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Oshiete Aiba-chan! (*Tell us, Aiba-chan!) Here, I’ll answer questions you’ve sent in via postcards~! Here we go!
C: Let’s.
A: This is from radio pen name Rina-san from Aichi: “I’ve a question for you. When you finish performing a concert, how much weight have you lost? When I went to see your concert at Kokuritsu, I lost 5kg. I’m curious to find out how much you all lose, what with all the singing and dancing.” Five kilograms?! That’s insane.
C: Indeed.
A: In three hours.
C: She must have been jumping up and down for the whole three hours.
A: But us… we replenish the amount of fluids we sweat off. So… I’d think it’d only be a matter of a couple hundred grams, if we were to lose any weight at all.
C: True.
A: Yeah… okay, let’s move on. This is from radio pen name Mai-chan from Saitama: “I ate a cream puff recently. The first bite is fine, but from the second bite onward, if I take a bite from the right side, the cream comes out the left end. If I eat it from the right side [laugh], the cream comes out the left side (*note: the listener repeated herself, but she probably meant “When I bit the left side, cream came out from the right end”). When I took a bite from the center, the cream oozed out from both ends. I’ve spilled the cream countless times. Do you know a good way for eating cream puffs?”
C: Hm…
A: If you take a bite from the right side, the cream will come out of the left side, but before it comes out, you suck up the cream.
C: Exactly.
A: So there’s the puff part and the cream part… if you mix those two parts in your mouth, it becomes a cream puff, anyway.
C: That’s right.
A: Right?
C: Yes.
A: So… I guess it’s a race against time when you eat cream puffs.
C: Mm.
A: Eating cream puffs is a sport. Right, moving on.
C: [laugh]
A: Um… this is from radio pen name Sachirin-san from Tokyo: “It has gotten pretty chilly lately. I’m thinking of bringing out the heated rug. Are you the kotatsu type or the heated rug type?” (*note: kotatsu is a low table with a heating device attached on the bottom side; it is covered over with a futon and keeps your legs warm during the winter) Hm… I don’t have either. I really wanted a kotatsu, but if I had one, I’d never come out of it.
C: Mm.
A: I feel like I’d rely on it too much.
C: True.
A: We have a kotatsu back at my parent’s, but when I go to visit, I don’t want to get out of there. It’s so warm!
C: True. If we’re talking about kotatsu, I want the kind that’s dug into place. (*note: “horigotatsu” is a kind of kotatsu that is built into the house; you can sit down as if you were sitting on a chair because the floor underneath the table is dug deeper than the other parts of the house) Otherwise, my lower back starts to hurt.
A: Oh… must be age?
C: Must be.
A: [laugh] But there aren’t many houses with those kinds of kotatsu.
C: Not…
A: Well, because…
C: Very many.
A: You’d have to dig the place a bit, right? [laugh]
C: You do. You couldn’t do that in an apartment.
A: True, the person living below you would have their ceiling hang low.
C: Yeah.
A: That’s troublesome. Maybe I’ll buy one of the two this year! What about a gas stove?
C: Well, it’s a stove.
A: One of those heater things, you know, how do I put it? An electric heater?
C: Oh, like a column heater.
A: Yeah.
C: They say column heaters are nice because they don’t dry up the air around you.
A: That’s a good aspect of them. What do you use, Chika-san?
C: A gas fan heater. (*note: this is a gas stove with a built-in fan)
A: Well, I was merely asking.
C: [laugh]
A: Right! I’d like to play a song now, but what should we play? It’s getting chilly, so a song that warms you up would be nice.
C: Yes.
A: A famous song one wants to listen to in the cold.
C: Right.
A: They want to hear it.
C: Yes.
A: Oh, I’ll go with this. Please give it a listen. This is Arashi’s “WISH”.
[Arashi - “WISH”]
A: Send your postcards to Bunka Housou Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix!, Zip code 105-8002. E-mail address: Arashi@joqr.net. Please put the name of the segment in the subject. You can also send us a message through the Bunka Housou website on your cell phone. It’s time to close up the program~! So shall we get to the well-awaited event?
C: We shall!
A: These are keepsake goods from “Everything”. Ten winners will receive a cell phone stand. To participate, we asked you to send postcards with tiger drawings on them. In response to such request, our listeners stepped up. For those who sent in your postcards, thank you! We’d like to choose ten of you from this pile. This is hard to choose!
C: Wow.
A: Everyone-
C: They’re all very good!
A: Everyone took their time and effort into this and sent ‘em in. But…
C: Hm?
A: Could you hand me the Tora-san one? (*note: this is the nickname of a famous character in the long-running TV series, Otoko wa Tsurai yo; the character’s full name is Kuruma Torajiro, and was played by Atsumi Kiyoshi)
C: This one… is amazing. [laugh]
A: This one’s amazing!
C: A portrait of Atsumi Kiyoshi-san!
A: Yes!
C: [laugh]
A: This one is just… outstanding!
C: Indeed.
A: So let’s… pick this one as one of the winners, yes? No objections, everyone?
C: No objections.
A: This one was by radio pen name… Erina-chan from Hachiouji, Tokyo!
C: Right!
A: Congratulations!
C: Congratulations!
A: And? I want to choose that one, too.
C: This one?
A: How did they draw this one? They used colors…
C: This is a realistic one.
A: A realistic tiger, indeed!
C: A tiger.
A: It’s pink… uh, they painted the postcard pink, and on top of that, they used blue, light blue, and yellow to draw the tiger. This is by radio pen name Misaki-chan from Fukuoka, congrats!
C: Yes.
A: Alright, let’s keep pickin’. Oh, this hari-e. (*note: a collage made from torn, colored paper, similar to a paper collage) What do you think?
C: Oh, there are people who prefer the hari-e style.
A: There are. Let’s keep this one. This one from Okayama is by… how do you read this?
C: Eri-chan.
A: Eri-chan! Congratulations.
C: Yes.
A: That’s three.
C: She used gold origami paper to make the tiger.
A: Oh, this one’s nice. Looks like a tiger mask.
C: Wow!
A: Right?
C: It’s very girly!
A: It even says so. This one was sent from Tokyo.
C: [laugh]
A: How do you read this?
C: Um…
A: This is hard.
C: Umm… “something-ka”-chan? [laugh]
A: Which “something-ka”-chan could it be?
C: “Something-ka”-chan.
A: Do look forward to it!
C: [laugh]
A: Congrats, “something-ka”-chan!
Staff: [laugh]
A: Who else?
C: Oh! One half is Aiba-kun…
A: The other half is a tiger.
C: Whoa.
A: This one… right? The design is interesting.
C: Oh? Did they write their name and address?
A: They did! This is from radio pen name Airi-chan from Okayama, congratulations!
C: Congrats!
A: Five more. Yikes, yikes! The show’s gunna end, the show’s gunna end.
C: This’ll go on-
A: We really can’t choose! There are so many who drew-this one’s amazing. A collaboration. A collaboration between Doraemon and a tiger. Maaan! Okay, Chika-san. Pick your favorite.
C: Okay, then… this person made it somewhat like an embroidery patch.
A: Oooh, nice.
C: This one is from radio pen name Miho-chan in Sapporo.
A: Congratulations! That’s six.
C: Also…
A: That was six, right?
C: This one from radio pen name Mami-chan in Saitama is a hari-e as well, but it’s nice. She took different shades of brown and yellow and pieced them together.
A: Wow, congrats!
C: Right, a “kitty tiger”, it says.
A: And? Okay, I’m just going to pick at random. How many more?
C: Let’s see… one, two, three, four-three more!
A: Maaan, and there are some who used real photos. Wow! … Alright! I pick these three. Um… this one is from radio pen name anaka-chan from Osaka. Congratulations.
C: Congrats.
A: And? Radio pen name Yuka-chan from Chiba, congrats!
C: Congratulations.
A: And radio pen name Mai-chan from Okayama, congrats!
C: Congrats~!
A: Thank you very much, everyone! Uh… next week.
C: Yes?
A: I hope they listen in next week, also.
C: Agreed.
A: Alright. This was Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix. Your radio partner was Aiba Masaki from Arashi. See you next week, bye-bye!