Home is where the heart is (More Than Friends 3/?)
Title: Home is where the heart is
Fandom: Heroes
Rating/Genre: g/slash
Characters/Pairing: Mohinder Suresh, Mira Shenoy, Mohinder/Matt
Summary: Mohinder is on his way back to New York after a two-week trip to India, where he talked to his ex girlfriend, mostly about Matt.
Word count: 1 753
Spoilers/Warnings: None.
Notes 1: Written for tiptoe39’s lovely 2nd Official WAFF-a-thon and prompt: "Matt/Mohinder, Mohinder was going home to Matt, not Mira."
Note 2: Based on the season 2 premises, and those who have read my previous Molly-centric fics will recognize the theme. Edit: I've realized that this is a part of the same series as the mentioned Molly-centric fics, and have added a tag for that reason!
Despite the fact that he ended up leaving after less than two full weeks, Mohinder couldn’t help but smile as he remembered Mira’s surprise at seeing him.
It was fun to surprise people. Mira hadn’t been expecting him, as he hadn’t told anyone he was going to India, and when he showed up at her doorstep, she gasped as if she had seen a ghost.
Then she smiled, and hugged him, and laughed, and asked him lots of questions, of which only a handful could be answered, but it didn’t matter. Not at first.
It was good to see her. When he was still in New York, he thought about her smile, her intelligent and spot-on comments, and found comfort in the thought of her. She was a part of his past, the person he had known best, most intimately, the one who knew him and understood him like no one else had.
That is, no one until Matt.
And on second thought, Mohinder had to admit, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to come running to his ex girlfriend to pour his heart out and talk to her about a man he claimed to love.
That was what he had done, none the less.
Although he saw Mira’s eyes become darker and the line in her forehead become deeper as she begun to understand, he explained to her how he had met Molly, and how Molly was connected to Matt who became her guardian, and how all three of them ended up in his father’s apartment. And what he felt for Matt.
“It’s more than just an attraction”, he said, “I feel connected to Matt on a much deeper level. And it’s not because he can read my mind, if he wants to, but what I’m saying is that my feelings for him, inexplicable as they may sound, are real…”
“I don’t understand”, Mira said, “do you love this man? Then why are you here? I thought - when I saw you, I thought that you were coming home, and we…”
“No”, Mohinder interrupted, “no. Maybe I shouldn’t have come here? But I wanted to talk to you so desperately, Mira, you’re my friend, you’re the only one who could understand.”
“What about telephones?” Mira was beginning to sound upset. “What about the internet? If you wanted so desperately to tell me that you are in love - “
“No”, Mohinder said again, “it’s not that… I had to get away from him for a while. I couldn’t stand it. And I’m pretty sure he needed a break from me, too.”
Mohinder told Mira what had happened a while ago. He had had a plan. Or not a plan exactly, it was more like a strong hunch or a wish that he was certain would come true eventually. Yes, he was fairly certain that Matt did feel the same way about him. Matt just wasn’t ready to admit it yet. But he would be, soon.
If it were not for that incident.
That damn mindreading at the dinner table. Why did Matt have to do that? And then their awkward conversation afterwards when Mohinder thought that it was best to be honest and tell the truth, and Matt had blushed and he didn’t want to hear about it, didn’t want to know that Mohinder’s feelings were more than friendship, didn’t want to know about his desire.
And the next few days they both tried to act like nothing had happened, but both of them knew that something had happened between them. They were friends - with Molly, they were a family - and Mohinder knew that his love didn’t have to change that. Matt seemed to disagree.
“If he had stayed out of my head”, Mohinder complained to Mira, “then he wouldn’t have known…”
“But you wanted him to know”, his ex lover said, “didn’t you? How else could you find out what he feels for you? Mohinder, I’m sorry to say this, but from what you’re telling me, I get the impression that he doesn’t feel what you feel.”
“But he does.” Mohinder ran his fingers through his hair as if to straighten out his thoughts by dragging them out of his head.
He told Mira about Matt. He told her about how they talked until midnight some nights - about their past, about their dreams, their hopes and fear for the future. He told her about their comfortable silences. Their friendly bantering. The love they both felt for the little girl in their care.
He told Mira about how he cooked for Matt and Molly and loved to see them loving his food. He told her about their movie nights. He told her about how he felt when he sometimes caught a glimpse of Matt coming out of the shower. He told her that he sometimes noticed Matt looking at him. But that he could also almost smell his hesitation and confusion.
“I see a hunger in his eyes”, Mohinder said, “that he has no name for yet. He doesn’t know that I can see it in his eyes.”
“If you are so sure about this”, Mira said, “then why are you here, so far away from him?”
The Indian sun was setting, making everything look like gold. The evening breeze carried all the familiar scents Mohinder had known all his life, and they blended in with Mira’s perfume.
He felt homesick. Home was far away.
“I wanted to give him some time to think”, Mohinder said, “and I need some time too, I guess. I mean, I never wanted to rush, to put any pressure on him. And I really needed someone to talk to.”
Mira reached out and took his hand and squeezed it gently.
“All right”, she said with a soft sigh, “talk to me then.”
So Mohinder talked to her. They talked all night, and eventually, they talked about her life, too.
Mohinder kept himself busy during the days. There were many people he wanted to see in Madras, and even more people who wanted to see him. He had a lot to do.
He tried not to think too much about his life in New York. He bought a few souvenirs for Molly, but nothing for the man he loved.
But he couldn’t keep his thoughts away from Matt. He should have seen this, I’d love to show him that… if he could be here… what if we went there… Matt was everywhere. Everything reminded him about Matt.
Mira was a good friend. She listened to his long rants until her poor ears must fall off, and finally she said it:
“Don’t you think it’s time for you to return now? What are you waiting for? You have to face him sooner or later and accept the consequences of your love for him.”
Yes, it was true; Mohinder knew it. It was useless to walk around in Madras with his head in the clouds, daydreaming about a possible future that might never come. At least not as long as he was there without doing anything.
“You have to go back”, Mira encouraged him, “and if Matt really doesn’t love you any differently than he would love a friend, then you have to accept that. Just like I accept that you don’t love me anymore. That you haven’t loved me for a very long time.”
Mohinder fidgeted in the seat when he remembered the look on her face. He hated to disappoint people. But what could he do? It was the truth. And she knew it.
“If there was any chance at all that I could make you change your mind”, she continued, “I would try to fight. But I know when to give up. You, on the other hand - if there is any chance that Matt can feel something more for you, then you must fight to make it happen.”
So Mohinder called Matt and told him that he was going home the next day. Their conversation was not long, but Matt’s tone of voice wasn’t as tense as it had been the days before Mohinder left.
That was a sign as good as any, Mohinder thought. Hadn’t Matt even sounded happy to hear from him?
“He has had some time to miss you”, Mira said. “I’m sure he wants you to come home.”
When the airplane landed, Mohinder desperately hoped that Mira was right. He even had butterflies in his stomach, and he annoyed the taxi driver by giving too many suggestions on how to get to Brooklyn where Matt and Molly were waiting in his apartment.
“Who’s driving, you or me? That’s not a shortcut, it’s a detour!”
“I know”, Mohinder murmured.
“Look, do you wanna go to Brooklyn, or to somewhere else?”
The driver stared at him in the mirror, and Mohinder sighed, and told him to drive the way he found best.
I can’t be on the road forever, Mohinder told himself, and if I tried, Molly would find me anyway. Would Matt want her to find me? Or would he tell her to let me get lost?
But Mohinder had to face the end of his journey soon enough.
When he put his key in the door, he felt like he had been gone for years, and the butterflies in his stomach were at war, slaughtering each other and dying in violent spasms.
When he opened the door, he was stunned by the sight that met his gaze.
Not that what he saw would have appeared so extraordinary to an outsider, but Mohinder took it all in in a heartbeat: the place was recently tidied, there was a new table cloth on the table, and there was food on it. And it wasn’t fast-food or anything ordered from a restaurant; he could tell by the scent of it, and even more by the look on Matt’s face.
There was light in Matt’s eyes, and eagerness, and nervousness too - but mostly, by looking into Matt’s eyes, Mohinder truly felt that he was coming home.
Molly threw herself at him and put her arms around his neck, and when he hugged her, he looked at Matt, who hadn’t moved from his position next to the table as if he was guarding it, and thought:
I have missed you.
He tried to smile.
“Yeah, me too”, Matt murmured. “Glad you’re back. Don’t… don’t make that a habit, staying away this long…”
“No”, Mohinder said with a smile as he put their girl down, “I won’t, I promise.”
Fandom: Heroes
Rating/Genre: g/slash
Characters/Pairing: Mohinder Suresh, Mira Shenoy, Mohinder/Matt
Summary: Mohinder is on his way back to New York after a two-week trip to India, where he talked to his ex girlfriend, mostly about Matt.
Word count: 1 753
Spoilers/Warnings: None.
Notes 1: Written for tiptoe39’s lovely 2nd Official WAFF-a-thon and prompt: "Matt/Mohinder, Mohinder was going home to Matt, not Mira."
Note 2: Based on the season 2 premises, and those who have read my previous Molly-centric fics will recognize the theme. Edit: I've realized that this is a part of the same series as the mentioned Molly-centric fics, and have added a tag for that reason!
Despite the fact that he ended up leaving after less than two full weeks, Mohinder couldn’t help but smile as he remembered Mira’s surprise at seeing him.
It was fun to surprise people. Mira hadn’t been expecting him, as he hadn’t told anyone he was going to India, and when he showed up at her doorstep, she gasped as if she had seen a ghost.
Then she smiled, and hugged him, and laughed, and asked him lots of questions, of which only a handful could be answered, but it didn’t matter. Not at first.
It was good to see her. When he was still in New York, he thought about her smile, her intelligent and spot-on comments, and found comfort in the thought of her. She was a part of his past, the person he had known best, most intimately, the one who knew him and understood him like no one else had.
That is, no one until Matt.
And on second thought, Mohinder had to admit, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to come running to his ex girlfriend to pour his heart out and talk to her about a man he claimed to love.
That was what he had done, none the less.
Although he saw Mira’s eyes become darker and the line in her forehead become deeper as she begun to understand, he explained to her how he had met Molly, and how Molly was connected to Matt who became her guardian, and how all three of them ended up in his father’s apartment. And what he felt for Matt.
“It’s more than just an attraction”, he said, “I feel connected to Matt on a much deeper level. And it’s not because he can read my mind, if he wants to, but what I’m saying is that my feelings for him, inexplicable as they may sound, are real…”
“I don’t understand”, Mira said, “do you love this man? Then why are you here? I thought - when I saw you, I thought that you were coming home, and we…”
“No”, Mohinder interrupted, “no. Maybe I shouldn’t have come here? But I wanted to talk to you so desperately, Mira, you’re my friend, you’re the only one who could understand.”
“What about telephones?” Mira was beginning to sound upset. “What about the internet? If you wanted so desperately to tell me that you are in love - “
“No”, Mohinder said again, “it’s not that… I had to get away from him for a while. I couldn’t stand it. And I’m pretty sure he needed a break from me, too.”
Mohinder told Mira what had happened a while ago. He had had a plan. Or not a plan exactly, it was more like a strong hunch or a wish that he was certain would come true eventually. Yes, he was fairly certain that Matt did feel the same way about him. Matt just wasn’t ready to admit it yet. But he would be, soon.
If it were not for that incident.
That damn mindreading at the dinner table. Why did Matt have to do that? And then their awkward conversation afterwards when Mohinder thought that it was best to be honest and tell the truth, and Matt had blushed and he didn’t want to hear about it, didn’t want to know that Mohinder’s feelings were more than friendship, didn’t want to know about his desire.
And the next few days they both tried to act like nothing had happened, but both of them knew that something had happened between them. They were friends - with Molly, they were a family - and Mohinder knew that his love didn’t have to change that. Matt seemed to disagree.
“If he had stayed out of my head”, Mohinder complained to Mira, “then he wouldn’t have known…”
“But you wanted him to know”, his ex lover said, “didn’t you? How else could you find out what he feels for you? Mohinder, I’m sorry to say this, but from what you’re telling me, I get the impression that he doesn’t feel what you feel.”
“But he does.” Mohinder ran his fingers through his hair as if to straighten out his thoughts by dragging them out of his head.
He told Mira about Matt. He told her about how they talked until midnight some nights - about their past, about their dreams, their hopes and fear for the future. He told her about their comfortable silences. Their friendly bantering. The love they both felt for the little girl in their care.
He told Mira about how he cooked for Matt and Molly and loved to see them loving his food. He told her about their movie nights. He told her about how he felt when he sometimes caught a glimpse of Matt coming out of the shower. He told her that he sometimes noticed Matt looking at him. But that he could also almost smell his hesitation and confusion.
“I see a hunger in his eyes”, Mohinder said, “that he has no name for yet. He doesn’t know that I can see it in his eyes.”
“If you are so sure about this”, Mira said, “then why are you here, so far away from him?”
The Indian sun was setting, making everything look like gold. The evening breeze carried all the familiar scents Mohinder had known all his life, and they blended in with Mira’s perfume.
He felt homesick. Home was far away.
“I wanted to give him some time to think”, Mohinder said, “and I need some time too, I guess. I mean, I never wanted to rush, to put any pressure on him. And I really needed someone to talk to.”
Mira reached out and took his hand and squeezed it gently.
“All right”, she said with a soft sigh, “talk to me then.”
So Mohinder talked to her. They talked all night, and eventually, they talked about her life, too.
Mohinder kept himself busy during the days. There were many people he wanted to see in Madras, and even more people who wanted to see him. He had a lot to do.
He tried not to think too much about his life in New York. He bought a few souvenirs for Molly, but nothing for the man he loved.
But he couldn’t keep his thoughts away from Matt. He should have seen this, I’d love to show him that… if he could be here… what if we went there… Matt was everywhere. Everything reminded him about Matt.
Mira was a good friend. She listened to his long rants until her poor ears must fall off, and finally she said it:
“Don’t you think it’s time for you to return now? What are you waiting for? You have to face him sooner or later and accept the consequences of your love for him.”
Yes, it was true; Mohinder knew it. It was useless to walk around in Madras with his head in the clouds, daydreaming about a possible future that might never come. At least not as long as he was there without doing anything.
“You have to go back”, Mira encouraged him, “and if Matt really doesn’t love you any differently than he would love a friend, then you have to accept that. Just like I accept that you don’t love me anymore. That you haven’t loved me for a very long time.”
Mohinder fidgeted in the seat when he remembered the look on her face. He hated to disappoint people. But what could he do? It was the truth. And she knew it.
“If there was any chance at all that I could make you change your mind”, she continued, “I would try to fight. But I know when to give up. You, on the other hand - if there is any chance that Matt can feel something more for you, then you must fight to make it happen.”
So Mohinder called Matt and told him that he was going home the next day. Their conversation was not long, but Matt’s tone of voice wasn’t as tense as it had been the days before Mohinder left.
That was a sign as good as any, Mohinder thought. Hadn’t Matt even sounded happy to hear from him?
“He has had some time to miss you”, Mira said. “I’m sure he wants you to come home.”
When the airplane landed, Mohinder desperately hoped that Mira was right. He even had butterflies in his stomach, and he annoyed the taxi driver by giving too many suggestions on how to get to Brooklyn where Matt and Molly were waiting in his apartment.
“Who’s driving, you or me? That’s not a shortcut, it’s a detour!”
“I know”, Mohinder murmured.
“Look, do you wanna go to Brooklyn, or to somewhere else?”
The driver stared at him in the mirror, and Mohinder sighed, and told him to drive the way he found best.
I can’t be on the road forever, Mohinder told himself, and if I tried, Molly would find me anyway. Would Matt want her to find me? Or would he tell her to let me get lost?
But Mohinder had to face the end of his journey soon enough.
When he put his key in the door, he felt like he had been gone for years, and the butterflies in his stomach were at war, slaughtering each other and dying in violent spasms.
When he opened the door, he was stunned by the sight that met his gaze.
Not that what he saw would have appeared so extraordinary to an outsider, but Mohinder took it all in in a heartbeat: the place was recently tidied, there was a new table cloth on the table, and there was food on it. And it wasn’t fast-food or anything ordered from a restaurant; he could tell by the scent of it, and even more by the look on Matt’s face.
There was light in Matt’s eyes, and eagerness, and nervousness too - but mostly, by looking into Matt’s eyes, Mohinder truly felt that he was coming home.
Molly threw herself at him and put her arms around his neck, and when he hugged her, he looked at Matt, who hadn’t moved from his position next to the table as if he was guarding it, and thought:
I have missed you.
He tried to smile.
“Yeah, me too”, Matt murmured. “Glad you’re back. Don’t… don’t make that a habit, staying away this long…”
“No”, Mohinder said with a smile as he put their girl down, “I won’t, I promise.”