wow.
haha wow, so its been a long ass time since i have been on livejournal.. since i last updated it was august.. i saw stuck up on a girl that i didnt even know, and ignoring the one i loved. A couple monthes later, i realized maybe its time i get back to this so called livejournal because it gives me the oppurtunity to vent all my problems, so then that way it is all out for everyone to see.. so say i make a mistake, and i am getting judged i can attempt to clear it up. That being said, i almost screwed things up.. yet again.. incase anyone hasnt known. courtney and i have been dating for almost two monthes.. you know the girl that was obsessed with me for haha over a year.. and i never had any feelings for her.. well i got to thinking around september that this is the girl that i want to be with, and regardless of what my friends think of her she is who i want to be with. So, at this point she was ignoring me when i tryed being nice to her ( i would have too) with everything i put her through.. but i was really trying hard to make her realize that i did like her.. and i dont think she believed me at first... and to be honest i had no clue (then) that i liked her that much either.. but you learn that damn this is someone u cannot live without.. like damn.. how did it take me so long to realize that i liked this person.. and i really dont know what did.. i just thought back to an old situation with a girl. .where she was always there for me, and i took her for granted.. when i finally realized how much i liked her she didnt like me... so i needed to understand that with courtney i could lose her if i dont get my act together. Not that i care that i lost this other person because she was nothing but a cancer and absolutely not what i wanted in a relationship.. so Courtney and i are good.. and really we dont fight.. minus the two mistakes we have made.. but.. i am so lucky to have a girl like her.. and im so sorry babe for what happened.. you know how stressful that weekend was.. and how fucked up my train of thought was.. i love you so much! Honestly..... i havent felt this way in a long time.. like usually in the past my relationships have just been out of attraction.. and like o damn.. this girl is hot and a respectable date.. but.. now its at the point where "If i lose her, i honestly DONT know what to do". But i dont think i will lose her.. and as sad as it sounds.. i dont think we will ever not be together from here on out, because both of us would die without one another. So.. looking back at all my past frustrating entries about wanting/finding/screwing up with (a girl) almost a year and a half later i can honestly say that i have no doubts and that this girl is who i want to be with.. kinda rare.. atleast for me.. ENOUGH WITH THE GIRL RAMBLING THOUGH!
(X-mas) is coming up thank god. And as lame as it sounds.. i almost like doing work and scrambling around to get money to give gifts rather then recieving them.. dont get me wrong i love recieving them to hahaha.. but just wrappping the present kicks ass.. and just going out shopping for them.. i love it. i love spending hundreds of dollars on other people.. hah ainstead of saving it for a new guitar aand amp which i desperatly need... but thats ok.. i feel good about myself. haha and i even bought an extra gift.. you know.. incase someone gives you a gift and you dont have one for them so in your head you like.. ehhhhhhhhh.. (O) Hang on i have yours in the backroom haha.
(THIS IS FICTION) - no i am not quitting TIF.. i was just really upset.. and as much as i can vent with LJ.. TIF gives me the oppurtunity to take stress away.. which is nice.. and i love doing it too.., i love the kids i do it with.. we have lots of fun with it, and plan on taking it as far as we can go.. Granted we need some work.. but were gonna work our asses off to get it to where i want to be.. if you havent already check us out on myspace at www.myspace.com/THISISFICTION and tell all your friends cuz we need as much help as we can get.
(attica crew) all i can say is wow i miss you guys.. all of you! im sorry if i havent gotten a hold of you guys lately.. its just hard.. but you have my number and u can always call me..... and if you dont its 716-997-5570.
Thats all for now.. so let me put my plaid pj's on.. turn the early november up on loud.. and pretend im like a hooker on the street corner.. selling drugs, and yelling loud obnoxious things. for attention
(X-mas) is coming up thank god. And as lame as it sounds.. i almost like doing work and scrambling around to get money to give gifts rather then recieving them.. dont get me wrong i love recieving them to hahaha.. but just wrappping the present kicks ass.. and just going out shopping for them.. i love it. i love spending hundreds of dollars on other people.. hah ainstead of saving it for a new guitar aand amp which i desperatly need... but thats ok.. i feel good about myself. haha and i even bought an extra gift.. you know.. incase someone gives you a gift and you dont have one for them so in your head you like.. ehhhhhhhhh.. (O) Hang on i have yours in the backroom haha.
(THIS IS FICTION) - no i am not quitting TIF.. i was just really upset.. and as much as i can vent with LJ.. TIF gives me the oppurtunity to take stress away.. which is nice.. and i love doing it too.., i love the kids i do it with.. we have lots of fun with it, and plan on taking it as far as we can go.. Granted we need some work.. but were gonna work our asses off to get it to where i want to be.. if you havent already check us out on myspace at www.myspace.com/THISISFICTION and tell all your friends cuz we need as much help as we can get.
(attica crew) all i can say is wow i miss you guys.. all of you! im sorry if i havent gotten a hold of you guys lately.. its just hard.. but you have my number and u can always call me..... and if you dont its 716-997-5570.
Thats all for now.. so let me put my plaid pj's on.. turn the early november up on loud.. and pretend im like a hooker on the street corner.. selling drugs, and yelling loud obnoxious things. for attention