Ami SMASH!
7 reasons why I am staying far away from the word processor.
1. I am very tempted to write death!fic. And we're not talking OH NOES LORNE IS DEAD but OH NOES IS THAT SHEPPARD'S HEAD ON A PIKE?
2. I might be willing to be talked down to permanent injury fic. OH NOES IS THAT RODNEY'S ARM? Or I might blind someone. No not blind, LEGALLY BLIND someone. Sometimes, that might be worse.
3. If not that, then Torture!Fic sounds really good. I have visions of electrical burns and such dancing in my head. WITH NO MAGICAL HEALING COCK. YES. I WENT THERE.
4. Teyla/John I'm happy enough but Rodney is dead so it's not TRUE LOVE SO I AM KINDA MISERABLE is very tempting. (Note: Look. I'm in a bad mood. I read Teyla/John when the summary catches me. Don't try and tell me I am oppressing your ship. I will send FLAMES.)
5. Rodney is gay. John is straight. They never manage to be friends the same way again. THE END. (Okay I might not really write that, but I'm in that sort of MOOD okay?)
6. Rodney finally loses it, John and Teyla and Ronon are in the infirmary bleeding slowly and painfully and Rodney's ankle is bruised and so is his wrist and John almost died and now? Now he's gonna blow some shit up. John helps him. This would be the AU of how Kolya actually dies. Because that sucker never managed to characterize past "JOHN WAS MEAN AND BEAT ME AT MY OWN CHEATING GAME! THE BIG CHEATER!" and well that shit would annoy Rodney at some point. (Oh wait. I AM actually writing that. Oops.)
7. I am tempted to reopen that fic that's 6000 words of Rodney recovering from being psychologically raped. Weee. (This folks? Is a bad sign. If I ever finish this fic, someone might want to call me and make sure I didn't gulp down the rest of my vicodin all at once. Jesus. This fic freaks me out.)
We now return you to your regularly scheduled fun. John! He's shiny! And The Pretender! OMG I FORGOT my LOVE of this show. He and Benton Fraser really need to meet.
Oh and audible.com! 11 hours of entertainment! For 12 bucks! The world is full of glee!
ETA: I now have handcuffs, a whip AND A PONY. I win. *nods firmly* Bless you guys.