Fic: "Amphibious Rescue," Early Edition, PG

[amilyn]

Amphibious Rescue
by amilyn
Written (extremely late!) for akamarykate in the help_haiti challenge. Many thanks to mtgat (Girl Scout and pacing expert) and b1uemorpho (public transport expert and missing word finder) for their proofreading, input, and suggestions. 7700 words.

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Comments

[akamarykate]

Ooooohhh, sweetie.

You know, we talked on the phone about the possibility of me beta-ing and "tailoring" the story--but that didn't need to happen because it's already so great just the way it is!

I loved so many things about this, including:
~ Long and plotty! Long and plotty! So much more than I'd ever expected (or deserved :).
~ Gary's impatience with the bus driver. I could *feel* it, to the point my own foot was tapping.
~ How that first crisis was resolved. I...um...just whispered, "I see what you did there!" in the coffee shop, and got a few looks. Hee.
~ Matt wants to be called Vito! BWAH.
~ The way Gary's impulse to help the family on the bus (and the bus driver being so annoyed with him that he didn't wait for Gary) led him to be in the right place at the right time for the new story. SO very EE.
~ Girl Scouts! Bonus factor. I was in scouts through high school, and when I'm doing science workshops I always jump at the chance to work with the Girl Scout and Brownie badges.
~ Your story kids in general are all very realistic and adorable. :) And kids + Gary is even better, and funnier. The image of him wanting to pound his head against the wall while the kids are having the time of their lives is faboo.
~ FROGS AND JELLYFISH FTW!!
~ Marissa and the Lighthouse kids are love. Just...love. You get so many wonderful details in there, and knowing you, I felt so assured that they're all completely accurate.
~ Dolphins helping Gary save the day (because you know Cat wasn't going in the water).
~ Gary and Marissa are BFFs and Cat is an annoying little priss. The ending scenes are just lovely, like coming home.

That's a long list, but there's a lot here to love! Thank you again--and it was lovely chatting with you the other day, too. :)