R.I.P. Nana
My husband's grandmother has died, peacefully, in Hospice, of old age at 99 1/2 years. She is survived by one sister (she is preceded in death by the middle sister), three children, eight grandchildren, eleven great-grandchildren, and one great-great-grandchild. Everyone seems to be doing all right.
Marina Zidek July 1911 to 5 March 2011
Interview conducted by amilyn on 2 May 2010
Mary (was Marina Zidek before Ellis Island) born 1911 in Ukraine, to Katherine and John Zidek. Mary's parents had twins before she was born, but they were small and Katherine's milk didn't come in, so they starved and died, making Mary the oldest surviving child. As was the custom, Katherine wore a scarf over her head to indicate that she was married.
John moved to the US, worked, then sent money for Mary and her mother after a year and a half or so. (Mother had had a baby while he was gone.?) When they prepared to leave, however, Mary was ill, possibly with the chicken pox, and wasn't allowed to leave, so her mother had to leave without her and she stayed with her grandparents. Her grandfather made wooden soup plates and bowls to eat from, and also made the wooden spoons they ate with
Mary was very small and remained small due to malnourishment. She remembers playing with ribbons that they would dance with and wrap around a pole in the play yards. The holidays were especially beautiful. They would sing and walk around the church and the girls would hold up pictures of Jesus. Those days meant a lot.
From the age of five, Mary worked. The area grew flax, and it would be cut down, then soaked in water and dried. Then there was a machine that would break off the husk and reveal the fibers. Those were then spun, wound onto a spindle, and woven into linen that was 27" wide or so. Mary's job was to go to the well, turn the crank to lower the wooden bucket, and fill another wooden basin with water, then take the newly-woven linen and soak it in the water, then lift it out, sodden and heavy, and lay it out on the ground so that the sun could bleach it out from the natural brown-ish color of the flax into a lighter color of linen. Today she looks back at the labor she did and is amazed at what she did.
In the springs, she was a goose girl, and she would watch the geese and try to manage them near the pond although she could not swim. She would also strip them of their feathers to make feather beds and blankets.
They had very little, however, and breakfasts consisted of a bowlful of boiled potatoes, and each person would serve themselves from the bowl, then a small quantity of salt would be passed around, and everyone would take a small pinch and dab it onto the potatoes. The salt was precious and hard to come by, and every now and then, large barrels of water would be taken and the water would be soaked onto cloth, and although she doesn't remember where the water came from, Mary and the others would lay the soaked cloth out to dry, then knock the salt off the cloth and gather it; they only could get salt by making it themselves in this way.
There were many jobs to do: tending the geese, digging for food such as potatoes, spinning, working with the linen, making salt, making food, washing using a stone (though there was no soap), always work to be done.
Mary, because of having to stay behind, lived in Ukraine during both World War I and the Russian Revolution. She remembers many kinds of soldiers coming through her village when she was around 8 years old, and remembers crying all the time, being afraid all the time because it was very bad during the war. On day when she and her aunt were walking, they felt a bullet whiz past them.
The Turks in particular she remembers as very mean. She saw them rip apart two horses and trample them into the ground. Another group of Turks, on another day, did other things she remembers as being very upsetting. One uncle managed to escape from them and they believed that he was hiding in haystacks and so were using their swords to stab at the haystacks, thinking he was in there, and, if he had been, their swords would have come out bloody.
At one time, her family/neighbors all went into the valley and dug a hole. They went inside the hole and lived under the ground for two days. When they were in the hole they made with wood, they put grass across the top so no one would know they were there. They had put holes in to let in air, but at night there was no light and it was completely dark since their light was made by kerosene, which they couldn't use. They hid there till that particularly frightening group of soldiers had moved on.
When certain enemies came through, they would sleep on the floor of the house. Mary and her family would have to sleep in the hay loft. In the first house they lived with the cows and with the animals. The second house was against a hill and they had two rooms, one for the thrashing and one for sleeping. In that house they slept over the oven, which was a dome above the big oven. Mary slept with her aunt on top of the stove, which was like adobe and rock and sand and heated where they baked their bread. There was a bench alongside it and they would climb up on the bench then up on the top of the oven to sleep there, and it was like sleeping on the floor, or like on the street, it was so hard. They only had one set of clothes, and so they slept in those clothes, and wore the same clothes all the time.
In 1921, Mary's Aunt Stella (after whom Mary's younger sister Stella was named and whose real name was Ustina--Justina--before it was changed), went with her by foot, then by horse and buggy, then by train, to a boat. They were on the ship for a long time. Finally they arrived in New York, where they were processed through Ellis Island.
"We were in Elllis Island."
"It was the first time I had in the morning and afternoon a break. There were no children on the boat and when we were in Ellis Island, I got milk and graham crackers twice a day. That was a treat! I couldn't wait!
"We had to be sterilized. The had red stuff [antiseptic] that the mixed in water and washed between our legs.
"They called our names and I don't remember how we got to the train. it must have been a car. It was two to three days on the train to get to Wisconsin and my aunt was very sick.
"In Ellis Island my aunt forgot to change the name, and finally a Polish woman said, 'They're calling your niece's name,' Someone came in a Ford with Isinglass around but it was open and took us to the train."
Mary finally arrived in Cudahay, Wisconsin, where she met her two younger sisters for the first time, and saw her mother for the first time in 8 1/2 years.
Once she was in Wisconsin, the family spoke mostly Ukrainian at home. There were two more sisters: Anne, who was four years younger than Mary, and Stella, who was eight years younger than Mary. Mary was quite eager to learn English and asked Anne for the names of things. She asked the word for a "cap" and Anne told her it was a "chap" since that's what Pa called it.
They came to the United States because, "Everyone came to the US. Why do they still come? Why do they come from Mexico? We just came. My father worked and sent for me and my mother. We didn't have anything. We lived with our parents. Washing clothes on a stone. It was really primitive." As a result she comments, when asked what she appreciates about the US, "Everything. I am so blessed to have a wonderful family and have what I have now. It is wonderful. We can have a house and this, well, anyway."
The girls attended a one-room schoolhouse with a single, big stove to heat the room. Mary, who had only worked in Ukraine had no academic education, knew almost nothing, just how to count to a few numbers, like possibly up to three, how to write "cat" and a few letters. So she began by sitting with the first graders, who were much younger than her ten years. She was small for her age. She learned quickly and moved up through the grades as she learned. She feels lucky that she did get along with everyone at school, and did not have disagreements with the other children. She did, however, have very little time to be in school, because she soon was attending trade school, and was only able to stay until she was 16, when she again was expected to return to work. The family moved around a lot as well, which disrupted any further education she might have gotten.
Mary met her husband and she married Chester hen she was age 20 (in June...she would be 21 the next month in July). She did not have the opportunity to get an education and regrets that she didn't even know that, as an adult, she could have taken night classes.
Mary's father had obtained citizenship, and with marrying Chester, who was a citizen, she was near to having citizenship. During World War II, their landlord was her sponsor and she quietly obtained her own citizenship during the war. She never talked much about her background or childhood, and said her children never asked much about it. She believed that her children were ashamed that she came from Europe and ashamed that she was an immigrant, ashamed that she had a slight accent.
Mary never went back to visit. Ukraine was in a state of almost constant political unrest. The Turks came through as soldiers during World War I, then the Russians took over. Then Poland took over Ukraine. Then the Soviets took over. Then during World War II, the Nazis came through, but the Soviet Union remained in control. It has only been very recently that Ukraine has regained independence and has become stable. Mary said that, had the country become stable sooner, when she was younger, she would have been interested in returning to visit, but it did not work out that way. As it is, her entire Ukrainian family is gone, and her strength and health were no longer such that even a visit would have been practical.
Nana was failing and went on morphine last weekend. On Monday, Husband took the kids over to see Nana one more time. First Elf climbed up next to her and cuddled and kissed her and told her she loved her. Husband said that Nana wasn't very responsive (due to the medications) but brightened at the children's presence and so was clearly aware). Elf then got down and climbed up to cuddle with Husband and cry a little. As Ben climbed into bed with her to say goodbye, Elf clung to Husband and cried and cried. Ben said goodbye and was cute and tried to be funny with Nana. Husband said it was time to go, so Elf deliberately wiped off her face, composed herself, and went over to say goodbye and that they were leaving without being visibly upset. They then headed to the library and Grandpa Bob's house and Elf asked if they could go to the library first so she could have a break to pull herself together so she would not look sad to Grandpa since this was his mom and he was probably already sad. There was no coaching for the putting on of a brave face like that. She showed such incredible greatness of spirit, and I'm very proud of her.
Would that we all will have such a quiet and peaceful departure of our choosing, with time to say goodbye to those we love and who love us, and that everyone involved can be at peace in the farewell.
Marina Zidek July 1911 to 5 March 2011
Interview conducted by amilyn on 2 May 2010
Mary (was Marina Zidek before Ellis Island) born 1911 in Ukraine, to Katherine and John Zidek. Mary's parents had twins before she was born, but they were small and Katherine's milk didn't come in, so they starved and died, making Mary the oldest surviving child. As was the custom, Katherine wore a scarf over her head to indicate that she was married.
John moved to the US, worked, then sent money for Mary and her mother after a year and a half or so. (Mother had had a baby while he was gone.?) When they prepared to leave, however, Mary was ill, possibly with the chicken pox, and wasn't allowed to leave, so her mother had to leave without her and she stayed with her grandparents. Her grandfather made wooden soup plates and bowls to eat from, and also made the wooden spoons they ate with
Mary was very small and remained small due to malnourishment. She remembers playing with ribbons that they would dance with and wrap around a pole in the play yards. The holidays were especially beautiful. They would sing and walk around the church and the girls would hold up pictures of Jesus. Those days meant a lot.
From the age of five, Mary worked. The area grew flax, and it would be cut down, then soaked in water and dried. Then there was a machine that would break off the husk and reveal the fibers. Those were then spun, wound onto a spindle, and woven into linen that was 27" wide or so. Mary's job was to go to the well, turn the crank to lower the wooden bucket, and fill another wooden basin with water, then take the newly-woven linen and soak it in the water, then lift it out, sodden and heavy, and lay it out on the ground so that the sun could bleach it out from the natural brown-ish color of the flax into a lighter color of linen. Today she looks back at the labor she did and is amazed at what she did.
In the springs, she was a goose girl, and she would watch the geese and try to manage them near the pond although she could not swim. She would also strip them of their feathers to make feather beds and blankets.
They had very little, however, and breakfasts consisted of a bowlful of boiled potatoes, and each person would serve themselves from the bowl, then a small quantity of salt would be passed around, and everyone would take a small pinch and dab it onto the potatoes. The salt was precious and hard to come by, and every now and then, large barrels of water would be taken and the water would be soaked onto cloth, and although she doesn't remember where the water came from, Mary and the others would lay the soaked cloth out to dry, then knock the salt off the cloth and gather it; they only could get salt by making it themselves in this way.
There were many jobs to do: tending the geese, digging for food such as potatoes, spinning, working with the linen, making salt, making food, washing using a stone (though there was no soap), always work to be done.
Mary, because of having to stay behind, lived in Ukraine during both World War I and the Russian Revolution. She remembers many kinds of soldiers coming through her village when she was around 8 years old, and remembers crying all the time, being afraid all the time because it was very bad during the war. On day when she and her aunt were walking, they felt a bullet whiz past them.
The Turks in particular she remembers as very mean. She saw them rip apart two horses and trample them into the ground. Another group of Turks, on another day, did other things she remembers as being very upsetting. One uncle managed to escape from them and they believed that he was hiding in haystacks and so were using their swords to stab at the haystacks, thinking he was in there, and, if he had been, their swords would have come out bloody.
At one time, her family/neighbors all went into the valley and dug a hole. They went inside the hole and lived under the ground for two days. When they were in the hole they made with wood, they put grass across the top so no one would know they were there. They had put holes in to let in air, but at night there was no light and it was completely dark since their light was made by kerosene, which they couldn't use. They hid there till that particularly frightening group of soldiers had moved on.
When certain enemies came through, they would sleep on the floor of the house. Mary and her family would have to sleep in the hay loft. In the first house they lived with the cows and with the animals. The second house was against a hill and they had two rooms, one for the thrashing and one for sleeping. In that house they slept over the oven, which was a dome above the big oven. Mary slept with her aunt on top of the stove, which was like adobe and rock and sand and heated where they baked their bread. There was a bench alongside it and they would climb up on the bench then up on the top of the oven to sleep there, and it was like sleeping on the floor, or like on the street, it was so hard. They only had one set of clothes, and so they slept in those clothes, and wore the same clothes all the time.
In 1921, Mary's Aunt Stella (after whom Mary's younger sister Stella was named and whose real name was Ustina--Justina--before it was changed), went with her by foot, then by horse and buggy, then by train, to a boat. They were on the ship for a long time. Finally they arrived in New York, where they were processed through Ellis Island.
"We were in Elllis Island."
"It was the first time I had in the morning and afternoon a break. There were no children on the boat and when we were in Ellis Island, I got milk and graham crackers twice a day. That was a treat! I couldn't wait!
"We had to be sterilized. The had red stuff [antiseptic] that the mixed in water and washed between our legs.
"They called our names and I don't remember how we got to the train. it must have been a car. It was two to three days on the train to get to Wisconsin and my aunt was very sick.
"In Ellis Island my aunt forgot to change the name, and finally a Polish woman said, 'They're calling your niece's name,' Someone came in a Ford with Isinglass around but it was open and took us to the train."
Mary finally arrived in Cudahay, Wisconsin, where she met her two younger sisters for the first time, and saw her mother for the first time in 8 1/2 years.
Once she was in Wisconsin, the family spoke mostly Ukrainian at home. There were two more sisters: Anne, who was four years younger than Mary, and Stella, who was eight years younger than Mary. Mary was quite eager to learn English and asked Anne for the names of things. She asked the word for a "cap" and Anne told her it was a "chap" since that's what Pa called it.
They came to the United States because, "Everyone came to the US. Why do they still come? Why do they come from Mexico? We just came. My father worked and sent for me and my mother. We didn't have anything. We lived with our parents. Washing clothes on a stone. It was really primitive." As a result she comments, when asked what she appreciates about the US, "Everything. I am so blessed to have a wonderful family and have what I have now. It is wonderful. We can have a house and this, well, anyway."
The girls attended a one-room schoolhouse with a single, big stove to heat the room. Mary, who had only worked in Ukraine had no academic education, knew almost nothing, just how to count to a few numbers, like possibly up to three, how to write "cat" and a few letters. So she began by sitting with the first graders, who were much younger than her ten years. She was small for her age. She learned quickly and moved up through the grades as she learned. She feels lucky that she did get along with everyone at school, and did not have disagreements with the other children. She did, however, have very little time to be in school, because she soon was attending trade school, and was only able to stay until she was 16, when she again was expected to return to work. The family moved around a lot as well, which disrupted any further education she might have gotten.
Mary met her husband and she married Chester hen she was age 20 (in June...she would be 21 the next month in July). She did not have the opportunity to get an education and regrets that she didn't even know that, as an adult, she could have taken night classes.
Mary's father had obtained citizenship, and with marrying Chester, who was a citizen, she was near to having citizenship. During World War II, their landlord was her sponsor and she quietly obtained her own citizenship during the war. She never talked much about her background or childhood, and said her children never asked much about it. She believed that her children were ashamed that she came from Europe and ashamed that she was an immigrant, ashamed that she had a slight accent.
Mary never went back to visit. Ukraine was in a state of almost constant political unrest. The Turks came through as soldiers during World War I, then the Russians took over. Then Poland took over Ukraine. Then the Soviets took over. Then during World War II, the Nazis came through, but the Soviet Union remained in control. It has only been very recently that Ukraine has regained independence and has become stable. Mary said that, had the country become stable sooner, when she was younger, she would have been interested in returning to visit, but it did not work out that way. As it is, her entire Ukrainian family is gone, and her strength and health were no longer such that even a visit would have been practical.
Nana was failing and went on morphine last weekend. On Monday, Husband took the kids over to see Nana one more time. First Elf climbed up next to her and cuddled and kissed her and told her she loved her. Husband said that Nana wasn't very responsive (due to the medications) but brightened at the children's presence and so was clearly aware). Elf then got down and climbed up to cuddle with Husband and cry a little. As Ben climbed into bed with her to say goodbye, Elf clung to Husband and cried and cried. Ben said goodbye and was cute and tried to be funny with Nana. Husband said it was time to go, so Elf deliberately wiped off her face, composed herself, and went over to say goodbye and that they were leaving without being visibly upset. They then headed to the library and Grandpa Bob's house and Elf asked if they could go to the library first so she could have a break to pull herself together so she would not look sad to Grandpa since this was his mom and he was probably already sad. There was no coaching for the putting on of a brave face like that. She showed such incredible greatness of spirit, and I'm very proud of her.
Would that we all will have such a quiet and peaceful departure of our choosing, with time to say goodbye to those we love and who love us, and that everyone involved can be at peace in the farewell.