take my breath away; nichkhun/wooyoung
take my breath away.
nichkhun/wooyoung ; pg-13; 2457w
where nichkhun is resume-perfect and wooyoung is an enigma
A/N: I usually write stories backwards, but this one.. sort of just write itself front to back, I was quite surprised. This is so fragmented and characterisation sucks, but i wanted to try Wooyoung in a new characterisation, so this happens. for my khunyoung spazzing buddies, you know who you are ♥ unbetaed.
Human imagination is a scary thing, Nichkhun deduces. It’s been a month since they broke up, but he can still imagine Wooyoung’s face greeting him in the morning, with that half-lidded gaze he sends Nichkhun when he is too lazy to wake up. Nichkhun would always reach for him, and for some days where he is really lacking sleep, Nichkhun thinks he really can touch Wooyoung, strokes his cheek and hears him hums in acknowledgement. Just like the good old days.
Just like the good old days.
Everytime Nichkhun enters the kitchen, Wooyoung’s shadow is always there, hovering around the snack cupboard starring in contempt at the empty shelves, or in the living room, laying stomach down in the sofa watching TV, or in the bathroom, never bothering to lock the door whenever he's in there. They said it takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart, Nichkhun thinks ten times is too little, really.
Human imagination is a scary thing, because it keeps feeding Nichkhun reasons not to let go. It wasn’t even a promise or anything worth hanging onto, but Nichkhun just can’t let go.
Not when it’s Jang Wooyoung.
♥
Wooyoung sometimes thinks that he will do a much better job as a zombie, a vampire, a cold blooded killer, or anything inhumane. Wooyoung scoffs and presses his hand on his chest where they say his heart is, and feels nothing, but a dull thumping of an empty, hollow heart. His smiles never reaches his eyes, it is forced only until it shows in the corner of his lips, the only way his lips knows how to function, a sly smirk.
Wooyoung is cold, stubborn and unwavering, unwilling to listen to anything but his own mind, and everyone knows how twisted it is. He has grown up with lies and deceit, spent his childhood questioning everyone’s intentions, and by the time he is an adult, with his delinquent and rebel years over, he welcomes his conman years with open arms. Learning from the past, everything he does is now more calculated and careful, slippery like the sand you couldn’t hold too tight, but ready to disappear into nothing when the wind hits.
Wooyoung never does anything illegal though, all he does is manipulate people and spins a web of lies and deceit around them so carefully and skillfully, they never knew what hit them until the storms finishes, and when it does, Wooyoung will already be far away, unscathed.
Nichkhun has always told him that if Wooyoung used his people skills on something more productive, he would be rich. But it wasn’t money that Wooyoung is after, if it is, then he might be able to justify his actions. Everything Wooyoung does is solely to feel the satisfaction when he successfully reduced someone down to nothing. Like what he did to Nichkhun.
The only difference this time around is that the feeling is completely different.
♥
Jang Wooyoung is an enigma. He is like an equation Nichkhun never learns to solve, like a book of indecipherable symbols, like a story Nichkhun never knows the ending of. But who is he kidding? He does know the ending, he has heard the rumours and the stories, and this charming man is the one everyone (including Wooyoung himself) has been warning Nichkhun about. The boy who doesn’t just throw your heart to the ground, he will personally slash it open and claw it to pieces with fingers. Like a cold blooded killer who still tortures his prey long after they ceased breathing.
Even after knowing that, it doesn’t lessen the way he feel for Wooyoung. People said love is blind, but Nichkhun’s love isn’t blind, Nichkhun just pretends he doesn’t see the bad stuff because it is easier that way. He knows, the thought keeps nagging at the back of his head like a broken record, but he ignores it every time, because not only that it is simply easier to, but also maybe if he hopes it enough, he might be able to be an exception, the exception. Hoping to be the one that turns everything around, to be the reason that will make Wooyoung stay. He isn’t even going to hope for forever, he just wants Wooyoung to stay, even just for a while.
What he fails to think about is that everything has an expiration date.
♥
Wooyoung has seen (and been with) a lot of man like Nichkhun, resume perfect, polished from head to toe with a good reputation to boot. It’s always the ones that look perfect in the outside that intrigues Wooyoung. It’s always the perfect ones in the outside that is ugly and wretched in the inside.
But Nichkhun is different, no matter how bad Wooyoung treats him, never once does Nichkhun snaps at him. It’s always just a sad smile or a silent judging look at worst, and it drives Wooyoung crazy. He is so used to driving people to the edge and smiling victoriously when they yell and swear at him, but this time he’s the one that ends up frustrated.
Wooyoung is still looking for the cracks in his foundation, something that can make Nichkhun snap, but hasn’t found anything. The guy is as perfect in the inside as he is on the outside. It comes to a point where Wooyoung stops trying to figure Nichkhun out and just accepts him as he is, which never happens to anyone before.
And then it slowly starts, the self-questioning and doubting, which drives Wooyoung crazy because this isn’t what it was supposed to be like. Before he knew it, it comes, the guilt starts suffocating his thoughts and by then Wooyoung couldn’t stand it anymore and he just up and left.
Nichkhun didn’t hold him back.
♥
Jang Wooyoung is an enigma, but once you know him the way Nichkhun does, you realize that he’s just broken. Broken beyond repair. Sadly, the more Nichkhun tries to fix him, the more broken he becomes.
Being with Wooyoung makes Nichkhun treasure each day as it comes, because he knows he can never predict Wooyoung. Every passing day is like a ticking clock, counting down to the day Wooyoung will finally get tired of him and leaves.
The day Wooyoung leaves, it takes Nichkhun’s everything to hold himself steady and preventing himself from sinking down to his knees and begging him not to go. Nichkhun tries to convince himself that he knows this day will come and he has prepared for it. But it still doesn’t help with the dull ache in his heart that echoes through every corner of his empty house every day after he left.
Wooyoung is gone, and he is not coming back, Nichkhun is sure. But somewhere within the corner of his heart, is a hope that Nichkhun doesn’t want to entertain with any imagination, but unable to chase away for good.
♥
He has always done so well masking his feelings, why would now be any different. He doesn’t know what caused it, why or how, but the day he left Nichkhun, something in his heart stirs. Nichkhun has awaken something dormant, something he doesn’t even know exist in that dark little eerie place that is his heart. A place where Wooyoung thought he had succeeded in barricading it with thorned veins and barbed wire, bitterness and years and years of breaking others’ hearts without even thinking twice.
But what is this? this.. this quiet thrumming inside his heart, a dull ache that becomes more and more prominent as days goes passes.
Then the most absurd thought crossed his mind, which he chases away almost instantly, disgusted that it ever crossed his mind in the first place.
What if Nichkhun has moved on?
♥
It was on the sixty-seventh day that Nichkhun decides to stop waiting. The finality of their situation finally sinks into his mind, that yes, Wooyoung has left, and he is not coming back. Now all Nichkhun has to do is to pick up the pieces of his life after hurricane Wooyoung hits, and tries to build back his life again, leaving the disaster that is the past.
But everything easier to say than done, and instead of packing his old life behind, Nichkhun ends up spending his whole day caressing Wooyoung’s old stuff, replaying the memories in his mind and smiling to himself.
The stain on Wooyoung’s favorite shirt from their random food fight when they were cooking dinner. Wooyoung has ignored Nichkhun for a few days before Nichkhun offers his favorite shirt as a collateral, for staining, but Wooyoung ends up keeping it and wearing it. Nichkhun didn’t protest.
The crack on Wooyoung’s mug, that gets a pushed off the counter and down to the ground because they were kissing a little too eagerly. Nichkhun offered to get Wooyoung a new one, but Wooyoung wouldn’t let him, chuckling to himself as he fingers the crack on the side of the mug.
The squeaky noise Wooyoung’s bright yellow slippers makes when he shuffles around in the morning around Nichkhun and nags why their breakfast isn’t pancakes and ice creams and can’t Nichkhun cook them pancakes tomorrow.
The soft bristles of Wooyoung’s toothbrush, which Nichkhun likes to use sometimes and get nagged at when Wooyoung realized that Nichkhun has been using his toothbrush again. But Wooyoung would still use it to brush his teeth, begrudgingly, which makes Nichkhun wants to use it again the next day, and the days after that.
In the end of the day Nichkhun remembers only the good stuff, and even if he knows all the bad stuff outweighs the good, only the good moments stays in his memories. Strangely he doesn’t regret spending the whole day drowned in their memories, and Nichkhun thinks if he tries enough he might be able to live off all the good memories forever.
♥
It is on the sixty-eighth day that Wooyoung has enough of this constant tugging inside his heart, the heart that he deemed non-functioning long ago. Has enough of tossing turning in bed bothered, has enough of questioning what is happening to himself.
So now he is standing in that familiar door he has spent his last year in, looking for answers, not from the man that lives beyond this door, but more from himself. Because no matter how hard he thinks, nothing seems right.
He didn’t have enough courage to ring for the doorbell, and even though his hand raised a few times to press it, something in him that keeps telling him not to. He was about to force his feet to turn away when the doors open and Nichkhun’s face peeks through the space between the door and the wall, as though he was waiting for Wooyoung all along. He was meant to be at work, Wooyoung said to himself, and then immediately berated himself mentally for remembering.
There, that smile again, and something inside Wooyoung stirs. Contempt, he tells himself, even though he knows in the back of his head that this isn’t what contempt feels like. Close enough, he reasons.
“Some of my shit is still in your house, do you mind?” comes out before Wooyoung could contain himself.
He never does this, comes back for his stuff, or anyone in particular. He is so used to be leaving and not even glancing back, leaving and closing one chapter of his life and starting with an empty slate. Empty, not clean, because Wooyoung’s name and reputation has never been clean in the first place.
When Nichkhun opens the door wider and steps back to let Wooyoung in with a smile, that’s when the guilt starts. Something inside him starts thrumming again and Wooyoung glares at Nichkhun with contempt, the latter seems to be too used to it and didn’t even flinch or bat an eyelid.
“Can you stop being so damn perfect all the time? I left you, said mean things, aren’t you the least bit mad?”
Nichkhun shakes his head, a smile still hanging on the corners of his perfect lips.
“But you came back”
“I said.. I came back.. for. my. stuff.” Wooyoung says, enunciating every word sharply to make sure Nichkhun gets it.
“I know.”
“You said, you don’t come back for anyone” Nichkhun said with a smile, and Wooyoung is going crazy. Not crazy in love, crazy frustrated.
“I..”
“But you came back...” he pauses, before continuing.
“and that’s enough for me.”
and by then Wooyoung doesn’t know what else to say.
♥
Human imagination is a scary thing, but Jang Wooyoung is scarier. A day after Nichkhun decides that he is going to give up this waiting game for good, he appears. Appears like he has never left, and Nichkhun’s heart leapt into his throat again, beating so hard, like it was trying to make up for the past sixty seven days. Somehow Nichkhun is glad, and he welcomes it with a smile knowing that his heart is still intact and beating all along.
Jang Wooyoung is mean and cunning, but Nichkhun would let him trample his heart over and over again, if it means that Wooyoung would come back. It’s sad, pathetic and Nichkhun knows that he is destructing himself like this, slowly and painfully, like a piece of his soul leaves whenever Wooyoung step on his heart.
Wooyoung said more mean things, and everything he said is just noise in Nichkhun’s ears. He came back. His head keeps repeating it like a mantra, as though Wooyoung would disappear if he stops chanting in his head.
“But you came back...” he said carefully, stopping before continuing his sentence with finality.
“and that’s enough for me”
Nichkhun simply smiles, a gesture that somehow ends up breaking Wooyoung, and the next second Nichkhun finds himself against the wall. Wooyoung’s fingers grasping tightly onto the collar of Nichkhun’s shirt, Nichkhun feels the air gets knocked out of his lungs. Wooyoung’s narrowed eyes glaring into Nichkhun’s, but instead of anger, Nichkhun can see a little longing in his eyes, that disappears not long after he sees it.
When Wooyoung lips comes crashing into his, Nichkhun closed his eyes and welcomes the familiarity with open arms. He doesn’t dare to dream about tomorrows in Wooyoung’s arms, but he lets himself be drowned in this feeling again, even if he knows it might be as shortlived as the next breath he takes. For Wooyoung, he is willing to hold his breath forever, even if it means that he will never surface up again.
Because Wooyoung took his breath away and Nichkhun doesn’t plan on asking for it back.
♥
A/N: finally, something that isn't a drabble lol. hope you liked it, thanks for reading ^0^
nichkhun/wooyoung ; pg-13; 2457w
where nichkhun is resume-perfect and wooyoung is an enigma
A/N: I usually write stories backwards, but this one.. sort of just write itself front to back, I was quite surprised. This is so fragmented and characterisation sucks, but i wanted to try Wooyoung in a new characterisation, so this happens. for my khunyoung spazzing buddies, you know who you are ♥ unbetaed.
Human imagination is a scary thing, Nichkhun deduces. It’s been a month since they broke up, but he can still imagine Wooyoung’s face greeting him in the morning, with that half-lidded gaze he sends Nichkhun when he is too lazy to wake up. Nichkhun would always reach for him, and for some days where he is really lacking sleep, Nichkhun thinks he really can touch Wooyoung, strokes his cheek and hears him hums in acknowledgement. Just like the good old days.
Just like the good old days.
Everytime Nichkhun enters the kitchen, Wooyoung’s shadow is always there, hovering around the snack cupboard starring in contempt at the empty shelves, or in the living room, laying stomach down in the sofa watching TV, or in the bathroom, never bothering to lock the door whenever he's in there. They said it takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart, Nichkhun thinks ten times is too little, really.
Human imagination is a scary thing, because it keeps feeding Nichkhun reasons not to let go. It wasn’t even a promise or anything worth hanging onto, but Nichkhun just can’t let go.
Not when it’s Jang Wooyoung.
♥
Wooyoung sometimes thinks that he will do a much better job as a zombie, a vampire, a cold blooded killer, or anything inhumane. Wooyoung scoffs and presses his hand on his chest where they say his heart is, and feels nothing, but a dull thumping of an empty, hollow heart. His smiles never reaches his eyes, it is forced only until it shows in the corner of his lips, the only way his lips knows how to function, a sly smirk.
Wooyoung is cold, stubborn and unwavering, unwilling to listen to anything but his own mind, and everyone knows how twisted it is. He has grown up with lies and deceit, spent his childhood questioning everyone’s intentions, and by the time he is an adult, with his delinquent and rebel years over, he welcomes his conman years with open arms. Learning from the past, everything he does is now more calculated and careful, slippery like the sand you couldn’t hold too tight, but ready to disappear into nothing when the wind hits.
Wooyoung never does anything illegal though, all he does is manipulate people and spins a web of lies and deceit around them so carefully and skillfully, they never knew what hit them until the storms finishes, and when it does, Wooyoung will already be far away, unscathed.
Nichkhun has always told him that if Wooyoung used his people skills on something more productive, he would be rich. But it wasn’t money that Wooyoung is after, if it is, then he might be able to justify his actions. Everything Wooyoung does is solely to feel the satisfaction when he successfully reduced someone down to nothing. Like what he did to Nichkhun.
The only difference this time around is that the feeling is completely different.
♥
Jang Wooyoung is an enigma. He is like an equation Nichkhun never learns to solve, like a book of indecipherable symbols, like a story Nichkhun never knows the ending of. But who is he kidding? He does know the ending, he has heard the rumours and the stories, and this charming man is the one everyone (including Wooyoung himself) has been warning Nichkhun about. The boy who doesn’t just throw your heart to the ground, he will personally slash it open and claw it to pieces with fingers. Like a cold blooded killer who still tortures his prey long after they ceased breathing.
Even after knowing that, it doesn’t lessen the way he feel for Wooyoung. People said love is blind, but Nichkhun’s love isn’t blind, Nichkhun just pretends he doesn’t see the bad stuff because it is easier that way. He knows, the thought keeps nagging at the back of his head like a broken record, but he ignores it every time, because not only that it is simply easier to, but also maybe if he hopes it enough, he might be able to be an exception, the exception. Hoping to be the one that turns everything around, to be the reason that will make Wooyoung stay. He isn’t even going to hope for forever, he just wants Wooyoung to stay, even just for a while.
What he fails to think about is that everything has an expiration date.
♥
Wooyoung has seen (and been with) a lot of man like Nichkhun, resume perfect, polished from head to toe with a good reputation to boot. It’s always the ones that look perfect in the outside that intrigues Wooyoung. It’s always the perfect ones in the outside that is ugly and wretched in the inside.
But Nichkhun is different, no matter how bad Wooyoung treats him, never once does Nichkhun snaps at him. It’s always just a sad smile or a silent judging look at worst, and it drives Wooyoung crazy. He is so used to driving people to the edge and smiling victoriously when they yell and swear at him, but this time he’s the one that ends up frustrated.
Wooyoung is still looking for the cracks in his foundation, something that can make Nichkhun snap, but hasn’t found anything. The guy is as perfect in the inside as he is on the outside. It comes to a point where Wooyoung stops trying to figure Nichkhun out and just accepts him as he is, which never happens to anyone before.
And then it slowly starts, the self-questioning and doubting, which drives Wooyoung crazy because this isn’t what it was supposed to be like. Before he knew it, it comes, the guilt starts suffocating his thoughts and by then Wooyoung couldn’t stand it anymore and he just up and left.
Nichkhun didn’t hold him back.
♥
Jang Wooyoung is an enigma, but once you know him the way Nichkhun does, you realize that he’s just broken. Broken beyond repair. Sadly, the more Nichkhun tries to fix him, the more broken he becomes.
Being with Wooyoung makes Nichkhun treasure each day as it comes, because he knows he can never predict Wooyoung. Every passing day is like a ticking clock, counting down to the day Wooyoung will finally get tired of him and leaves.
The day Wooyoung leaves, it takes Nichkhun’s everything to hold himself steady and preventing himself from sinking down to his knees and begging him not to go. Nichkhun tries to convince himself that he knows this day will come and he has prepared for it. But it still doesn’t help with the dull ache in his heart that echoes through every corner of his empty house every day after he left.
Wooyoung is gone, and he is not coming back, Nichkhun is sure. But somewhere within the corner of his heart, is a hope that Nichkhun doesn’t want to entertain with any imagination, but unable to chase away for good.
♥
He has always done so well masking his feelings, why would now be any different. He doesn’t know what caused it, why or how, but the day he left Nichkhun, something in his heart stirs. Nichkhun has awaken something dormant, something he doesn’t even know exist in that dark little eerie place that is his heart. A place where Wooyoung thought he had succeeded in barricading it with thorned veins and barbed wire, bitterness and years and years of breaking others’ hearts without even thinking twice.
But what is this? this.. this quiet thrumming inside his heart, a dull ache that becomes more and more prominent as days goes passes.
Then the most absurd thought crossed his mind, which he chases away almost instantly, disgusted that it ever crossed his mind in the first place.
What if Nichkhun has moved on?
♥
It was on the sixty-seventh day that Nichkhun decides to stop waiting. The finality of their situation finally sinks into his mind, that yes, Wooyoung has left, and he is not coming back. Now all Nichkhun has to do is to pick up the pieces of his life after hurricane Wooyoung hits, and tries to build back his life again, leaving the disaster that is the past.
But everything easier to say than done, and instead of packing his old life behind, Nichkhun ends up spending his whole day caressing Wooyoung’s old stuff, replaying the memories in his mind and smiling to himself.
The stain on Wooyoung’s favorite shirt from their random food fight when they were cooking dinner. Wooyoung has ignored Nichkhun for a few days before Nichkhun offers his favorite shirt as a collateral, for staining, but Wooyoung ends up keeping it and wearing it. Nichkhun didn’t protest.
The crack on Wooyoung’s mug, that gets a pushed off the counter and down to the ground because they were kissing a little too eagerly. Nichkhun offered to get Wooyoung a new one, but Wooyoung wouldn’t let him, chuckling to himself as he fingers the crack on the side of the mug.
The squeaky noise Wooyoung’s bright yellow slippers makes when he shuffles around in the morning around Nichkhun and nags why their breakfast isn’t pancakes and ice creams and can’t Nichkhun cook them pancakes tomorrow.
The soft bristles of Wooyoung’s toothbrush, which Nichkhun likes to use sometimes and get nagged at when Wooyoung realized that Nichkhun has been using his toothbrush again. But Wooyoung would still use it to brush his teeth, begrudgingly, which makes Nichkhun wants to use it again the next day, and the days after that.
In the end of the day Nichkhun remembers only the good stuff, and even if he knows all the bad stuff outweighs the good, only the good moments stays in his memories. Strangely he doesn’t regret spending the whole day drowned in their memories, and Nichkhun thinks if he tries enough he might be able to live off all the good memories forever.
♥
It is on the sixty-eighth day that Wooyoung has enough of this constant tugging inside his heart, the heart that he deemed non-functioning long ago. Has enough of tossing turning in bed bothered, has enough of questioning what is happening to himself.
So now he is standing in that familiar door he has spent his last year in, looking for answers, not from the man that lives beyond this door, but more from himself. Because no matter how hard he thinks, nothing seems right.
He didn’t have enough courage to ring for the doorbell, and even though his hand raised a few times to press it, something in him that keeps telling him not to. He was about to force his feet to turn away when the doors open and Nichkhun’s face peeks through the space between the door and the wall, as though he was waiting for Wooyoung all along. He was meant to be at work, Wooyoung said to himself, and then immediately berated himself mentally for remembering.
There, that smile again, and something inside Wooyoung stirs. Contempt, he tells himself, even though he knows in the back of his head that this isn’t what contempt feels like. Close enough, he reasons.
“Some of my shit is still in your house, do you mind?” comes out before Wooyoung could contain himself.
He never does this, comes back for his stuff, or anyone in particular. He is so used to be leaving and not even glancing back, leaving and closing one chapter of his life and starting with an empty slate. Empty, not clean, because Wooyoung’s name and reputation has never been clean in the first place.
When Nichkhun opens the door wider and steps back to let Wooyoung in with a smile, that’s when the guilt starts. Something inside him starts thrumming again and Wooyoung glares at Nichkhun with contempt, the latter seems to be too used to it and didn’t even flinch or bat an eyelid.
“Can you stop being so damn perfect all the time? I left you, said mean things, aren’t you the least bit mad?”
Nichkhun shakes his head, a smile still hanging on the corners of his perfect lips.
“But you came back”
“I said.. I came back.. for. my. stuff.” Wooyoung says, enunciating every word sharply to make sure Nichkhun gets it.
“I know.”
“You said, you don’t come back for anyone” Nichkhun said with a smile, and Wooyoung is going crazy. Not crazy in love, crazy frustrated.
“I..”
“But you came back...” he pauses, before continuing.
“and that’s enough for me.”
and by then Wooyoung doesn’t know what else to say.
♥
Human imagination is a scary thing, but Jang Wooyoung is scarier. A day after Nichkhun decides that he is going to give up this waiting game for good, he appears. Appears like he has never left, and Nichkhun’s heart leapt into his throat again, beating so hard, like it was trying to make up for the past sixty seven days. Somehow Nichkhun is glad, and he welcomes it with a smile knowing that his heart is still intact and beating all along.
Jang Wooyoung is mean and cunning, but Nichkhun would let him trample his heart over and over again, if it means that Wooyoung would come back. It’s sad, pathetic and Nichkhun knows that he is destructing himself like this, slowly and painfully, like a piece of his soul leaves whenever Wooyoung step on his heart.
Wooyoung said more mean things, and everything he said is just noise in Nichkhun’s ears. He came back. His head keeps repeating it like a mantra, as though Wooyoung would disappear if he stops chanting in his head.
“But you came back...” he said carefully, stopping before continuing his sentence with finality.
“and that’s enough for me”
Nichkhun simply smiles, a gesture that somehow ends up breaking Wooyoung, and the next second Nichkhun finds himself against the wall. Wooyoung’s fingers grasping tightly onto the collar of Nichkhun’s shirt, Nichkhun feels the air gets knocked out of his lungs. Wooyoung’s narrowed eyes glaring into Nichkhun’s, but instead of anger, Nichkhun can see a little longing in his eyes, that disappears not long after he sees it.
When Wooyoung lips comes crashing into his, Nichkhun closed his eyes and welcomes the familiarity with open arms. He doesn’t dare to dream about tomorrows in Wooyoung’s arms, but he lets himself be drowned in this feeling again, even if he knows it might be as shortlived as the next breath he takes. For Wooyoung, he is willing to hold his breath forever, even if it means that he will never surface up again.
Because Wooyoung took his breath away and Nichkhun doesn’t plan on asking for it back.
♥
A/N: finally, something that isn't a drabble lol. hope you liked it, thanks for reading ^0^