[Stargate: Drabble] "No Regrets" [John/Rodney, PG]
Title: No Regrets
Author: Ami Ven
Rating: PG
Word Count: 900
Prompt: mcsheplets challenge #028 ‘earth’
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing(s): John Sheppard/Rodney McKay
Setting: part of the "On the Run" series (AU from the end of Season 1) after On the Run- before Can We Keep Him? and Chosen and Loved
Summary: “Why did you bust me out of jail?”
No Regrets
Sometimes, when Rodney crawled into their increasingly-less-makeshift bedroll in the back of the puddle jumper, after a long tiring day, he looked surprised to see John still there. Rodney was an open emotional book to begin with, but exhaustion kept him from hiding anything at all, and something inside John twisted painfully every time he got a flash of that expression, like Rodney had honestly thought he’d come in to find that John had left him.
If John had anything to say about it, that was never going to happen.
And really, he should be the one amazed at not being left, not just that night, but all those months ago when he thought he was going spend the rest of his life in a military prison. Because Rodney had given up everything- Earth and Atlantis, physics and advanced science, processed foods and running water- to save John from dying in the prison infirmary. And most of the time, John wasn’t sure he had been worth it.
“Hey,” he said, when Rodney had collapsed into the bedroll beside him. “I, um…” He let out a long breath. “Why’d you do it?”
Rodney opened one eye to frown sleepily at him. “Why’d I do what? I do many, many important things, Sheppard, including taking the entire day to repair a backwater planet’s irrigation system as the entirety of our part of the trade deal. So you’re going to have to be more specific.”
John stared up at the gray ceiling of the puddle jumper. “Why did you bust me out of jail?”
“Why did I-?” Rodney sat bolt upright, and John could practically feel his indignation. “Are you seriously asking me that?”
John winced. “Um… yes?”
“Would you have preferred that I left you to die of infection in that sorry excuse for a medical facility?” Rodney demanded, leaning into John’s line of sight.
“Of course not,” said John. He put a hand on Rodney’s shoulder and pushed him back far enough that he could sit up, too. “It’s just… I wonder if you really thought about it, before you decided to commit a felony and become a fugitive.”
Rodney’s frown became a scowl. “Do you think I suddenly got stupid? Of course I thought about it! I spent many, many long sleepless nights thinking very hard about what I was planning to do, and somewhere in whatever dark corner the SGC keeps confiscated things, there is a hard drive with a dozen charts and spreadsheets to back me up.”
“I- Really?” It was typical of Rodney to need graphs for any decision, but the idea that he’d carefully weighed saving John against ever seeing Earth again and then chosen John, was a little overwhelming.
“Yes, really,” Rodney said, stubbornly. “That court martial was a sham, and we all knew it. Elizabeth tried everything she could, even got Hammond and O’Neill involved, but they couldn’t get enough leverage without making the whole program public. Which was my Plan B, if this didn’t work.”
“Oh,” said John.
“I tried to come see you, in jail,” Rodney continued, more softly. “But they wouldn’t let me. I couldn’t let them keep you there, Sheppard, I just couldn’t, and when I heard that you’d been stabbed-”
He broke off, knuckles white on the folds of the blanket, then looked up with blazing blue eyes. “You almost blew yourself up to save Atlantis, to save all of us, and I was not going to watch your own government let you die in that hellhole.”
John gently tugged the blanket out of Rodney’s grip. “It’s just that you gave up so much,” he said, dropping his gaze to their hands. “And I… I’m grateful, Rodney, really I am. Beyond grateful, and-”
“Grateful?” Rodney repeated, slowly. “Please tell me this is not some sort of… It is! You think you owe me something. You have been acting sort of… Wait. Is that… is that why you’ve been sleeping with me? Because you think…? Oh, no…”
He threw back the covers and started to get up, but John lunged forward to catch his wrist.
“Wait- Hey- No,” he said. “I- No!”
Rodney stopped, but didn’t turn back around.
“I am grateful,” said John. “But I’m sleeping with you for purely selfish reasons, believe me.”
Rodney didn’t quite look convinced, so John pulled him in for a kiss, trying to express all the emotions he didn’t have words for.
“I- okay,” said Rodney, when they broke for air. “You make a very compelling argument. But you’re still an idiot.”
“Yes, I am,” John agreed, then added, “I didn’t mean to doubt you, Rodney. I just never thought I was worth that much effort.”
For a moment, it looked like Rodney was going to go off again, but he just let out a long sigh. “Like I said- idiot. Can we go to sleep now? I’m exhausted.”
John grinned and kissed him again. “Okay.”
Rodney rolled his eyes and tugged them down, sliding his arm around John’s waist to keep him close, as the puddle jumper lights dimmed again.
John went more than willingly, tucking himself against Rodney’s side and closing his eyes.
“I didn’t give up anything,” Rodney said, after a long moment. “I mean, I do miss Earth, sometimes. But if I had to make that decision again? I would.”
John kissed him, deeply. “Thank you.”
THE END
Current Mood:
blah
Author: Ami Ven
Rating: PG
Word Count: 900
Prompt: mcsheplets challenge #028 ‘earth’
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing(s): John Sheppard/Rodney McKay
Setting: part of the "On the Run" series (AU from the end of Season 1) after On the Run- before Can We Keep Him? and Chosen and Loved
Summary: “Why did you bust me out of jail?”
No Regrets
Sometimes, when Rodney crawled into their increasingly-less-makeshift bedroll in the back of the puddle jumper, after a long tiring day, he looked surprised to see John still there. Rodney was an open emotional book to begin with, but exhaustion kept him from hiding anything at all, and something inside John twisted painfully every time he got a flash of that expression, like Rodney had honestly thought he’d come in to find that John had left him.
If John had anything to say about it, that was never going to happen.
And really, he should be the one amazed at not being left, not just that night, but all those months ago when he thought he was going spend the rest of his life in a military prison. Because Rodney had given up everything- Earth and Atlantis, physics and advanced science, processed foods and running water- to save John from dying in the prison infirmary. And most of the time, John wasn’t sure he had been worth it.
“Hey,” he said, when Rodney had collapsed into the bedroll beside him. “I, um…” He let out a long breath. “Why’d you do it?”
Rodney opened one eye to frown sleepily at him. “Why’d I do what? I do many, many important things, Sheppard, including taking the entire day to repair a backwater planet’s irrigation system as the entirety of our part of the trade deal. So you’re going to have to be more specific.”
John stared up at the gray ceiling of the puddle jumper. “Why did you bust me out of jail?”
“Why did I-?” Rodney sat bolt upright, and John could practically feel his indignation. “Are you seriously asking me that?”
John winced. “Um… yes?”
“Would you have preferred that I left you to die of infection in that sorry excuse for a medical facility?” Rodney demanded, leaning into John’s line of sight.
“Of course not,” said John. He put a hand on Rodney’s shoulder and pushed him back far enough that he could sit up, too. “It’s just… I wonder if you really thought about it, before you decided to commit a felony and become a fugitive.”
Rodney’s frown became a scowl. “Do you think I suddenly got stupid? Of course I thought about it! I spent many, many long sleepless nights thinking very hard about what I was planning to do, and somewhere in whatever dark corner the SGC keeps confiscated things, there is a hard drive with a dozen charts and spreadsheets to back me up.”
“I- Really?” It was typical of Rodney to need graphs for any decision, but the idea that he’d carefully weighed saving John against ever seeing Earth again and then chosen John, was a little overwhelming.
“Yes, really,” Rodney said, stubbornly. “That court martial was a sham, and we all knew it. Elizabeth tried everything she could, even got Hammond and O’Neill involved, but they couldn’t get enough leverage without making the whole program public. Which was my Plan B, if this didn’t work.”
“Oh,” said John.
“I tried to come see you, in jail,” Rodney continued, more softly. “But they wouldn’t let me. I couldn’t let them keep you there, Sheppard, I just couldn’t, and when I heard that you’d been stabbed-”
He broke off, knuckles white on the folds of the blanket, then looked up with blazing blue eyes. “You almost blew yourself up to save Atlantis, to save all of us, and I was not going to watch your own government let you die in that hellhole.”
John gently tugged the blanket out of Rodney’s grip. “It’s just that you gave up so much,” he said, dropping his gaze to their hands. “And I… I’m grateful, Rodney, really I am. Beyond grateful, and-”
“Grateful?” Rodney repeated, slowly. “Please tell me this is not some sort of… It is! You think you owe me something. You have been acting sort of… Wait. Is that… is that why you’ve been sleeping with me? Because you think…? Oh, no…”
He threw back the covers and started to get up, but John lunged forward to catch his wrist.
“Wait- Hey- No,” he said. “I- No!”
Rodney stopped, but didn’t turn back around.
“I am grateful,” said John. “But I’m sleeping with you for purely selfish reasons, believe me.”
Rodney didn’t quite look convinced, so John pulled him in for a kiss, trying to express all the emotions he didn’t have words for.
“I- okay,” said Rodney, when they broke for air. “You make a very compelling argument. But you’re still an idiot.”
“Yes, I am,” John agreed, then added, “I didn’t mean to doubt you, Rodney. I just never thought I was worth that much effort.”
For a moment, it looked like Rodney was going to go off again, but he just let out a long sigh. “Like I said- idiot. Can we go to sleep now? I’m exhausted.”
John grinned and kissed him again. “Okay.”
Rodney rolled his eyes and tugged them down, sliding his arm around John’s waist to keep him close, as the puddle jumper lights dimmed again.
John went more than willingly, tucking himself against Rodney’s side and closing his eyes.
“I didn’t give up anything,” Rodney said, after a long moment. “I mean, I do miss Earth, sometimes. But if I had to make that decision again? I would.”
John kissed him, deeply. “Thank you.”
THE END
Current Mood:
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