forgiveness
Currently battling a cold, so I apologize in advance if some of this doesn't make sense :p
Contacted a week ago by one of the mothers from our old karate school. I guess the sensei's trial for child molestation is coming up soon and she wanted to know if I'd be willing to write a letter to the judge on behalf of his character (ie: the good in it). If my son had been hurt by this man, I might feel differently - but it was quite the opposite. My son, Grant, was helped tremendously.
It would have been difficult saying "no" to Zoe (the other mother). She's been driving Sensei Jimmy's mother to visit him in jail... no short hike, that. Zoe knows he's guilty but is still compassionate. She feels as I do, that her child (a daughter) was helped immeasurably. It would be easier to demonize the man, to deny his humanity for the crimes he committed - but he is human. God help him for betraying the trust he was given, but he did real service, lasting good for the community, too.
In writing the letter to the judge, it was like reliving the damage that had been done to my son - relating the bullying he experienced at school. I only realize now that I should have brought charges - against the school for covering up the physical harm done to Grant, against the teachers for not doing more to stop it, against the children - & their parents (who taught them to be like that). Why else would we have brought our third grader to a psychiatrist?? We wanted to amend the injury done to him. And it went on all over again in fifth grade??? Once I saw that the school wouldn't defend him, he had to be able to defend himself. Karate gave Grant the chance to heal and Jimmy gave him the confidence to learn.
The effects of what Grant went thru were deep. At times, he was suicidal. It's been nearly four years - and a joy to see him finally shedding the negative voices that he'd internalized. I hope the children that the sensei hurt will find healing - their journey will most likely be even longer, given the deep part of ourselves that's harmed by sexual abuse. But I hope Jimmy will also find healing because pedophiles aren't born - they're created.
This past weekend, Grant was one of the leads in a play at school :) This was the kid who didn't want to go out of doors at one point because he thought he was so hideous? (see my cutie patootie below ;) He's blossomed... and happy. That's all a mom ever really wants.
)
Contacted a week ago by one of the mothers from our old karate school. I guess the sensei's trial for child molestation is coming up soon and she wanted to know if I'd be willing to write a letter to the judge on behalf of his character (ie: the good in it). If my son had been hurt by this man, I might feel differently - but it was quite the opposite. My son, Grant, was helped tremendously.
It would have been difficult saying "no" to Zoe (the other mother). She's been driving Sensei Jimmy's mother to visit him in jail... no short hike, that. Zoe knows he's guilty but is still compassionate. She feels as I do, that her child (a daughter) was helped immeasurably. It would be easier to demonize the man, to deny his humanity for the crimes he committed - but he is human. God help him for betraying the trust he was given, but he did real service, lasting good for the community, too.
In writing the letter to the judge, it was like reliving the damage that had been done to my son - relating the bullying he experienced at school. I only realize now that I should have brought charges - against the school for covering up the physical harm done to Grant, against the teachers for not doing more to stop it, against the children - & their parents (who taught them to be like that). Why else would we have brought our third grader to a psychiatrist?? We wanted to amend the injury done to him. And it went on all over again in fifth grade??? Once I saw that the school wouldn't defend him, he had to be able to defend himself. Karate gave Grant the chance to heal and Jimmy gave him the confidence to learn.
The effects of what Grant went thru were deep. At times, he was suicidal. It's been nearly four years - and a joy to see him finally shedding the negative voices that he'd internalized. I hope the children that the sensei hurt will find healing - their journey will most likely be even longer, given the deep part of ourselves that's harmed by sexual abuse. But I hope Jimmy will also find healing because pedophiles aren't born - they're created.
This past weekend, Grant was one of the leads in a play at school :) This was the kid who didn't want to go out of doors at one point because he thought he was so hideous? (see my cutie patootie below ;) He's blossomed... and happy. That's all a mom ever really wants.
)