21 days of rai-ness (Day 21)
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malapit ko ng iwan ang aking teen years (i am currently twent-een
). and since im already entering a new stage of my life, which is YOUNG ADULTHOOD (thank you mrs. famadico for reminding me today...), i think it must be high time that i show some sense of wisdom and maturity. so i thought of making this, a 21 day countdown till my 21st birthday. hindi naman dahil sa excited akong magbirthday, or i want all those people (who chose to receive messages for every blog entry) to be reminded constantly of my impending birthday. i am currently experiencing some kind of ennui...parang midlife crisis or maybe just an internal conflict that i can't identify as of yet. maybe in doing this, i unconsciously want to settle whatever conflicts i have, or perhaps this is just my way to spend/waste(?) my time...
well anyway, allow me to start off with something my friend sent to me:
"Lord, when I lose hope because my plans have come to nothing, help me to remember that Your love is always greater than my disappointments and Your plans for my life is always better than my dreams."
beautiful isn't it?
well, i've always been someone who believed that there in a greater scheme of things. that there's a plan for everything.
that there are no coincidences or accidents.
everything happens for a reason.
that's why i programmed myself to find meaning and patterns in anything and everything that i encounter in my life. my way of thinking had always been focused on "looking at the bigger picture". sabi ni nikki, perhaps un daw ang problema sakin. i've been so used to always finding meanings and patterns and reasons for everything that's happening in my life. i've been so used to looking at the greater picture that i couldn't enjoy the teeny tiny details of my life. and if i keep this up, i'f be missing quite a lot of things. well, nikki was half correct in her assessment. mahilig talaga akong tingnan ang buhay from a larger perspective. para bang unconsciously eh nakaprogram ang utak ko to think that way. i even have this hobby of trying to figure out how things looked like from other people's point of view. i try to detach myself from my body and imagine myself to be that lady sitting on the other side of the room or that gentleman with his back turned at me and was unaware of what was happening behind him. i know it may sound weird, maybe even unusual. but that's quite a close description of what goes on inside my head.
so what am i really trying to say here? i think my kind of thinking really isn't bad or wrong. i mean, it helps me understand people better and helps me empathize with others more because i could easily grasp how things were from their perspective. but i suggest that it would be best also to appreciate life in a short-moment basis. live in the here and now. enjoy the times you get to spend talking and laughing with your friends, or perhaps your brief, fateful encounter with your crush in the corridor. be attentive of the effort of others and learn how to appreciate the small things they do for you like refilling your water bottle, or picking up your ballpen or giving you paper each time there's a quiz.
god has a plan for all of us, and more often than not, He allows us to see glimpses of his great plan through these simple moments. probably, the reason why many people are confused with the meaning and mission of their life is because they dwell too much in looking at the bigger picture without realizing that their life is slowly passing them by. God's plan for all of us may be the same or entirely different from the plans we had for ourselves. But if there's one thing we could be absolutely certain, His plans for us are always the best. even if we encounter disappointments because things and events don't happen as we want them, we have to console ourselves with the fact that God has a better plan for all of us. All that He asks is that we put our faith in him, trust him to never let us down. because He never would. We just have to be extra sensitive and perceptive to the cues he is showing us.
God loves us. His love is the greatest assurance we have that if we just put our trust in Him, then there is nothing more that we have to worry about.