Letters (including car update).
Dear car dealership who quoted me $600 to replace both taillights on my car:
Fuck. You. I'm getting it done for HALF that at a local place. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. Assholes.
($300 is still going to pinch me hard. But it's not as un-doable as the original sum.)
Much hate, Me
--
Dear crabby old customers where I work,
1) Produce is expensive, part of the reason being is because it sells mostly by weight, not always by unit. Yes, it sucks. No, I don't want to listen to you bitch to me about it. Either a) buy frozen produce (which is supposed to be better for you anyway as the freezing locks in most of the nutrients, whereas fresh sits and loses its value over time), b) shop somewhere else, c) buy the fresh stuff and keep quiet, or d) STFU and not buy the stuff at all. I don't control the prices. If I did, there'd be an Asshole Tax for every time I had to hear someone pissing about 2 cents more for a 16-cent jalapeno pepper and how dare I charge so much. (Yes, this has happened. I kid you not. Beware elderly Floridians, be they snowbirds or natives. SHOPPING IS SRZ BIZNEZ.)
(And yes, I am aware of the irony of me complaining about the cost of car repairs in the same post as a customer complaining about produce costs. Even so, $300 > .02. Even *I*, a complete math idiot, can grasp that trump card.)
2) Here is a short list of Things You Are Not Allowed To Do: whistle at me like I'm a dog, snap your fingers at me, point at me and gesture like you're commanding an animal, growl 'you, come here!' at me, use my first name right off the bat like we're old pals (even though I've only ever seen your face for the first time and I wouldn't know your ass from any other stranger's), interrupt me when I'm clearly helping someone else to demand - not ask - where simple easy to locate items are, and any other flat-out rude way of getting my attention, asking me questions, or otherwise interacting with me. Get. Some. Fucking. MANNERS.
Looking better than you because I don't purposely bake myself under the sun all day, Me
--
Dear Madonna,
After 12 years, thank you for finally making an album that doesn't suck.
Still getting 'Girl Gone Wild' stuck in my head, Me
(Still think she hit her peak long ago, but at least this new one is worth buying. And 'Beautiful Killer' was TOTALLY MADE FOR MY AKABANE MUSE. >:) )
--
Fuck. You. I'm getting it done for HALF that at a local place. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. Assholes.
($300 is still going to pinch me hard. But it's not as un-doable as the original sum.)
Much hate, Me
--
Dear crabby old customers where I work,
1) Produce is expensive, part of the reason being is because it sells mostly by weight, not always by unit. Yes, it sucks. No, I don't want to listen to you bitch to me about it. Either a) buy frozen produce (which is supposed to be better for you anyway as the freezing locks in most of the nutrients, whereas fresh sits and loses its value over time), b) shop somewhere else, c) buy the fresh stuff and keep quiet, or d) STFU and not buy the stuff at all. I don't control the prices. If I did, there'd be an Asshole Tax for every time I had to hear someone pissing about 2 cents more for a 16-cent jalapeno pepper and how dare I charge so much. (Yes, this has happened. I kid you not. Beware elderly Floridians, be they snowbirds or natives. SHOPPING IS SRZ BIZNEZ.)
(And yes, I am aware of the irony of me complaining about the cost of car repairs in the same post as a customer complaining about produce costs. Even so, $300 > .02. Even *I*, a complete math idiot, can grasp that trump card.)
2) Here is a short list of Things You Are Not Allowed To Do: whistle at me like I'm a dog, snap your fingers at me, point at me and gesture like you're commanding an animal, growl 'you, come here!' at me, use my first name right off the bat like we're old pals (even though I've only ever seen your face for the first time and I wouldn't know your ass from any other stranger's), interrupt me when I'm clearly helping someone else to demand - not ask - where simple easy to locate items are, and any other flat-out rude way of getting my attention, asking me questions, or otherwise interacting with me. Get. Some. Fucking. MANNERS.
Looking better than you because I don't purposely bake myself under the sun all day, Me
--
Dear Madonna,
After 12 years, thank you for finally making an album that doesn't suck.
Still getting 'Girl Gone Wild' stuck in my head, Me
(Still think she hit her peak long ago, but at least this new one is worth buying. And 'Beautiful Killer' was TOTALLY MADE FOR MY AKABANE MUSE. >:) )
--