(no subject)
Oh lawd. I hurt all over. I don't know what I did to myself last night, in my sleep but my shoulder hurts, my bum hurts, my ribs hurt 
I had the strangest and out-of-the-leftfield dream last night. The dream parts will be in italic. The things that actually have happened to me will be in bold. I dreamt that I went to this pool party with my friend Carolyn. When I walked in it looked like I had stepped into some Beverly Hills party. But when I looked around there were a few familiar faces.
So, I did what I would normally do *in real life* I started to network and chat with the people I didn't know. So I finally get to this GUY. This guy is from my past. He was one of the house/breakdancers that I used to hang out with. He was the one I had the hugest crush on BUT I was overweight at the time and he would only consider me as a friend. This guy and I got along SO well that it was scary. I remember him telling me that he never got along with someone as he did with me. We were about 21 years old then. A few months later I was in the hospital diagnosed with Lupus. When I had stepped out of the hospital I was down from a size 10 to a size 0.
I went to the Biz Markie concert with Juju, as a size 0 and I remember he told me that I looked "Good!" That really made my night. *big sigh*
But now... flash forward to 6 years. I hear he is married now and I'm certain he probably has kids. Well actually I'm not certain if he's married... I can only assume as he is a hottie and there were always girls running after him. I saw HIM at the N.E.R.D/BEP concert recently. We didn't talk but I remember him looking at me like "Is that Erika?" He looked even better than what I remember him.
So I walked to the pool and stuck my legs in. He swam over to me and started talking. It was like real life. We had that instant connection from 5 years ago. He got out of the pool and we started walking around holding hands... totally in our own little world. I told him "I hear that you are married. We can't do THIS." He said, "But my wife and I are having maritial problems now." I told him, "Yeah. That's why I didn't want to get married so young cos I knew that I would be cheating on my husband eventually". He said, "I've been cheating on my wife for sometime now." And I'm like "But that's WRONG." And he said "You are right." and he walks off. Shit. Even in my dreams I still try to do the 'right thing'
It sucks. I know that I'm going to pining away for this guy ALL day. I really miss those days when I would hang out with my breaker boys and just go clubbing and dance practice. Those carefree days are looooong gone. Everything now is just so...so complicated. Everyone is married with children. At this age, when you meet someone you are more concerned with if the person is married, then if they have a good personality.
Ah well... I gotta go to Tar-ghet. I have some cleaning products I need to buy... plus some Aleve. My doctor friend is coming over to see my apartment and we are going to go and have dinner.
I had the strangest and out-of-the-leftfield dream last night. The dream parts will be in italic. The things that actually have happened to me will be in bold. I dreamt that I went to this pool party with my friend Carolyn. When I walked in it looked like I had stepped into some Beverly Hills party. But when I looked around there were a few familiar faces.
So, I did what I would normally do *in real life* I started to network and chat with the people I didn't know. So I finally get to this GUY. This guy is from my past. He was one of the house/breakdancers that I used to hang out with. He was the one I had the hugest crush on BUT I was overweight at the time and he would only consider me as a friend. This guy and I got along SO well that it was scary. I remember him telling me that he never got along with someone as he did with me. We were about 21 years old then. A few months later I was in the hospital diagnosed with Lupus. When I had stepped out of the hospital I was down from a size 10 to a size 0.
I went to the Biz Markie concert with Juju, as a size 0 and I remember he told me that I looked "Good!" That really made my night. *big sigh*
But now... flash forward to 6 years. I hear he is married now and I'm certain he probably has kids. Well actually I'm not certain if he's married... I can only assume as he is a hottie and there were always girls running after him. I saw HIM at the N.E.R.D/BEP concert recently. We didn't talk but I remember him looking at me like "Is that Erika?" He looked even better than what I remember him.
So I walked to the pool and stuck my legs in. He swam over to me and started talking. It was like real life. We had that instant connection from 5 years ago. He got out of the pool and we started walking around holding hands... totally in our own little world. I told him "I hear that you are married. We can't do THIS." He said, "But my wife and I are having maritial problems now." I told him, "Yeah. That's why I didn't want to get married so young cos I knew that I would be cheating on my husband eventually". He said, "I've been cheating on my wife for sometime now." And I'm like "But that's WRONG." And he said "You are right." and he walks off. Shit. Even in my dreams I still try to do the 'right thing'
It sucks. I know that I'm going to pining away for this guy ALL day. I really miss those days when I would hang out with my breaker boys and just go clubbing and dance practice. Those carefree days are looooong gone. Everything now is just so...so complicated. Everyone is married with children. At this age, when you meet someone you are more concerned with if the person is married, then if they have a good personality.
Ah well... I gotta go to Tar-ghet. I have some cleaning products I need to buy... plus some Aleve. My doctor friend is coming over to see my apartment and we are going to go and have dinner.