Neuroticism
Neurotic thoughts by me on this shit of a day...
It feels like crashing through the walls,
One day everything is wonderful, and in an instant completely different,
Triggered.
By what?
Can be anything, but most often memories.
Memories that drudge up painful experiences,
Cuts that run too deep to just simply forget where they came from.
I envy you.
Those who so easily forget the pain of the past,
Or those who have yet to experience deep-seated pain.
You haven't had to learn the difficulties of absolution,
Of simply forgetting what has scarred you so deeply,
You haven't had to experience The Trigger.
Why is it so hard to let go of some things,
But so easy to unwrap your hands from others?
A lost love takes time to move past,
But its not impossible.
Yet the circumstances behind it forever haunting you.
Cheatings, verbal beatings, getting dicked over for 8 years straight.
Why is it so hard to let go?
How do you heal a cut that runs so deep that even time hasn't helped,
And you just wait until the pain is triggered again,
To release the waves of paranoia, confusion, anger, and hatred.
Hatred of the memories,
And those responsible for the cuts that I just can't seem to forget.
At time it feels that there's only one way to forget,
To heal,
And I pray that day never comes,
The razor, the skin, and the blood.
The end.
Its so easy to say "fuck it" and force myself to forget,
Convince myself that I've let go,
And for a while, everything feels so right,
Until The Trigger.
I envy you who have yet to experience true pain,
And I hate those of you who have caused my pain.
I only hope that the same the same will happen to you,
So that you can experience The Trigger,
And live the rest of your life feeling as I do right now.
Waiting for history to repeat itself,
Waiting for those you love to cheat,
To turn their backs on you,
To fuck you over,
To forget you altogether.
Yes,
I hate those of you who have caused my pain.
I saw X-Men 3 today, and I liked it.
There's a review for you sycophants.
It feels like crashing through the walls,
One day everything is wonderful, and in an instant completely different,
Triggered.
By what?
Can be anything, but most often memories.
Memories that drudge up painful experiences,
Cuts that run too deep to just simply forget where they came from.
I envy you.
Those who so easily forget the pain of the past,
Or those who have yet to experience deep-seated pain.
You haven't had to learn the difficulties of absolution,
Of simply forgetting what has scarred you so deeply,
You haven't had to experience The Trigger.
Why is it so hard to let go of some things,
But so easy to unwrap your hands from others?
A lost love takes time to move past,
But its not impossible.
Yet the circumstances behind it forever haunting you.
Cheatings, verbal beatings, getting dicked over for 8 years straight.
Why is it so hard to let go?
How do you heal a cut that runs so deep that even time hasn't helped,
And you just wait until the pain is triggered again,
To release the waves of paranoia, confusion, anger, and hatred.
Hatred of the memories,
And those responsible for the cuts that I just can't seem to forget.
At time it feels that there's only one way to forget,
To heal,
And I pray that day never comes,
The razor, the skin, and the blood.
The end.
Its so easy to say "fuck it" and force myself to forget,
Convince myself that I've let go,
And for a while, everything feels so right,
Until The Trigger.
I envy you who have yet to experience true pain,
And I hate those of you who have caused my pain.
I only hope that the same the same will happen to you,
So that you can experience The Trigger,
And live the rest of your life feeling as I do right now.
Waiting for history to repeat itself,
Waiting for those you love to cheat,
To turn their backs on you,
To fuck you over,
To forget you altogether.
Yes,
I hate those of you who have caused my pain.
I saw X-Men 3 today, and I liked it.
There's a review for you sycophants.