I don't know if this is a good idea but I just have a lot of feelings I'm going to anyway.
It's no secret that this fandom can be frustrating as hell sometimes. It's also no secret that I've been having a pretty hard time this semester, outside of the fandom. This basically meant that right during the slowest part of my WIP, updates slowed way down. Several times, I wondered why I was still doing it when I had so much other stuff I should have been doing. I still wonder that sometimes.
And then days like today happen.
I honestly cannot tell you how much I smiled tonight going through the reviews/tweets/whatevers people have been leaving for the ending of
Purgatory: A Love Story.
This, for me, was kind of the story that couldn't. I tried to pre-write the entire thing and couldn't do it. I tried to keep a regular posting schedule, and once real life got in the way, I couldn't do it. And no matter how much I told myself that the ending I'd outlined made sense and was in line with the weird vampire/wristcutters logic I'd worked out months ago, I couldn't convince myself that it was going to work. There were a few times in February or March where I just considered throwing in the towel, posting a summary of what was going to happen and backing out of fandom, dragging my feet.
At some point in the last two weeks, though, things changed. My brain started working for me again. I found interest in my story again, and once I started posting chapters again--people were still waiting. People still cared, and that was huge. I pulled mojo from who knows where, and now, 16 days and nearly 40,000 words later, here we are.
So to all of you who read my stuff, whether you found me when I was writing pseudo-hip smut fic or if you only recently wondered why that weirdo spelled "American Idiot" with an x and only one a:
Thank you. Thank you for your kind words, your critical reviews that help make me a better writer, and for having faith in the fact that I knew what I was doing. Mostly.
You seriously make all the other bullshit worth it.
♥