Urge to go all R. Budd Dwyer on top of the panini press rising...
stuff has been good... and bad. i'm getting married on august 19th, which i would be completely swamped about (organizing a wedding in a month, even a little one, is very difficult) if it weren't for my wonderful risingdragon and her gorgeous girl who have been helping me. i think i have a guest list and it's almost perfect - just a few names missing from perfect, but in the interests of keeping it small, i don't really mind. so far everything is working out great. we might even get married by a judge named spector. i am willing to do a lot to get that judge and be married by lady moon knight. i still have to organize my dress fittings, make up invitations, decide what to do about a cake, and so on...oof. so much to do. i really need to get a desk planner for this, actually. between dealing with house viewings and learning about complicated realty things, i feel so sure i'm going to forget something.
i've stopped being actively afraid and suspicious of everyone, and in terms of relationships with my family i've been doing better than ever, but my anxiety has been flat out of control lately. i guess it's understandable, buying a house and organizing a wedding - my own wedding - on top of my disorders, but still-- i don't like being this anxious. i don't know if it's the worst disorder i have but it sure can feel like it. it messes with my sleep, my eating, my concentration, everything. i hid in bed and mostly slept for about thirteen hours today and couldn't eat until 5pm. too bad xanax gave me mild psychosis and blackouts. ugh, i need to figure out a better way of dealing with this.
my boy is taking me to see owl city this weekend. i'm so excited i can hardly even deal. the day after we're going to a baseball game. my two favorite events, in the same weekend. my family is the greatest c:
i'm thinking of doing camp nanowrimo in august with whatclaptrap. i can't decide whether to write psychological horror or the post-dark-reign longfic i've been thinking of for a while, though. anybody want to join us in august? nano is always better with more people.
i also really miss dancing, and i have five ballet lessons left that i paid for months ago, but it's scary to go completely on my own now that drake doesn't go any more. also i'm a little nervous about going out every wednesday evening. with my anxiety where it is right now i'm worried that would do more harm to me than the ballet lessons would do good. *sigh* if anybody in the seattle area wants to do some ballet classes with me in the next couple of months, say something! it would be much more fun to go with someone else c:
other than that... i finally found a place to scan my art, so here goes:
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a commission for my bff whatclaptrap . a character from her nanovel of last year, pen on bristol card.
gift art for supergabbie, because she was feeling down. robert reynolds (the sentry) and norman osborn, marker and white ink on marker paper.
robert reynolds as a bumblebee. this was sparked partly by an art student owl on tumblr saying 'green and purple look stupid together' (which prompted a comment about flowers) and partly because i just typo'd bumblebee as boblebee. sigh. i'm so proud of the shading on this one but it's the sentry dressed as a damn bumblebee. (his costume is yellow and black though).... marker on marker paper
robert reynolds (the sentry) as a character in miyazaki's tonari no totoro. i love bob and i love totoro. /shrug >.>; marker on marker paper
i've stopped being actively afraid and suspicious of everyone, and in terms of relationships with my family i've been doing better than ever, but my anxiety has been flat out of control lately. i guess it's understandable, buying a house and organizing a wedding - my own wedding - on top of my disorders, but still-- i don't like being this anxious. i don't know if it's the worst disorder i have but it sure can feel like it. it messes with my sleep, my eating, my concentration, everything. i hid in bed and mostly slept for about thirteen hours today and couldn't eat until 5pm. too bad xanax gave me mild psychosis and blackouts. ugh, i need to figure out a better way of dealing with this.
my boy is taking me to see owl city this weekend. i'm so excited i can hardly even deal. the day after we're going to a baseball game. my two favorite events, in the same weekend. my family is the greatest c:
i'm thinking of doing camp nanowrimo in august with whatclaptrap. i can't decide whether to write psychological horror or the post-dark-reign longfic i've been thinking of for a while, though. anybody want to join us in august? nano is always better with more people.
i also really miss dancing, and i have five ballet lessons left that i paid for months ago, but it's scary to go completely on my own now that drake doesn't go any more. also i'm a little nervous about going out every wednesday evening. with my anxiety where it is right now i'm worried that would do more harm to me than the ballet lessons would do good. *sigh* if anybody in the seattle area wants to do some ballet classes with me in the next couple of months, say something! it would be much more fun to go with someone else c:
other than that... i finally found a place to scan my art, so here goes:
---
a commission for my bff whatclaptrap . a character from her nanovel of last year, pen on bristol card.
gift art for supergabbie, because she was feeling down. robert reynolds (the sentry) and norman osborn, marker and white ink on marker paper.
robert reynolds as a bumblebee. this was sparked partly by an art student owl on tumblr saying 'green and purple look stupid together' (which prompted a comment about flowers) and partly because i just typo'd bumblebee as boblebee. sigh. i'm so proud of the shading on this one but it's the sentry dressed as a damn bumblebee. (his costume is yellow and black though).... marker on marker paper
robert reynolds (the sentry) as a character in miyazaki's tonari no totoro. i love bob and i love totoro. /shrug >.>; marker on marker paper