Oh Nice To Know That You All Care
Ah...the wonderful society of friends. Friends who care, friends who are there for you, friends who DONT HAVE TIME TO COMMENT ON YOUR DEPRESSING LIVEJOURNAL! (except Kristen and the EVIL Jude of Ith).
Here is my story of the dictator, Jude of Ith (you may be a character in this play too)
There once was a time when Ith was one of the greatest societies in the world. It was a society of kindness, and giving. The soil was always fertile thanks to irrigation developed there, and the people lived in cute little cottages with white picket fences. Visitors from the feudal society of Rie and the OVERLY ANNOYING AND POLITICALLY CHAOTIC AND WRONG society of Lex would come to Ith for fun and to learn more about the amazing society and so many of it's contributions to the world. But one day, during the socialist Al of Rex's visit in Ith, a horrible conspiracy took place. The republic was overthrown in Ith, as one by one all the representatives were murdered. A kind hearted, optimistic young girl came to power, promising peace and prosperity even in these times of chaos. But she had a problem: she lied more than John Kerry at a political forum. She was determined to become dictator. Car (pronounced Care) of Rie, the philosopher king of Rie (despite the fact that it was in actuality a feudal society...she was also a lord....or something) was also determined to stop Jude. She quickly jumped on her horse carriage and rode off into the distance. In seven days, she reached Ith. It was too late. Jude had succeeded. All the houses were burnt down. People lived in teepees made of pig's spit. And all the people were in the working class. Anyone above that was immediately declared an enemy of Jude and exiled to Lex, being as Lex is socialist and therefore doesn't give a CRAP about who is in their town. But Al of Lex, Sa of Ra, Car of Rie, and the great ruler Ash of Lee were all determined to protest. Al of Lex protested saying that the human rights violations were so enormous the ridiculously overfunded and completely pointless UN should get involved. He was exiled to Lex, which didn't really matter since he was a Lexan. Sa of Ra said there were not enough pretty things....she, too was exiled to Lex, but Lexan Ruler Al granted her freedom to return to Ra. By the time Ash of Lee came to protest, Jude of Ith was personally present. Ash of Lee exiled herself to Lex. Lastly, was Car of Rie. This ruler was known for her "no nonsense but yet somehow completely non violent" measures. She wanted to use diplomacy. But in all the years that Al of Lex tried, and Sa of Ra tried, and even Ash of Lee tried, it did not work. Car of Rie KNEW she had to take action. She ordered Sa of Ra to come back to Ith. Sa of Ra was determined to help out. This unlikely pair then did the task. Sa of Ra decieved the people into thinking that they would miss a party for Jude of Ith. None of the people wanted this, for they would be exiled to the horrible and socialist Lex! They all gathered 200 miles from Jude of Ith's home. This was to keep them safe. Jude popped her head out of her enourmous house, and asked her guards where all her workers went. They did not know. All of a sudden, Car of Rie flings a hand grenade at the house of Jude. (if this was a political comment on Iraq, it would all end here. How fitting. But for comedy's sake, I will continue) In seconds, it explodes. But just when Car believes she has "disposed" of the evil dictator, she finds that Sa of Ra tampered with the grenade. Only flowers were in it. Pretty things...called Sa of Ra. Car of Rie sighed. She knew she had to do something to prevent Jude of Ith from hurting her people anymore. Car of Rie called on the help of He Who Cannot Be Disturbed. It was a final resort. Bla of Del, the feared warrior, answered her call for justice. It was clear to him that Sa of Ra was talking crap and exhuming far too many raspberries, and that Car of Rie with her water-based-feudal-society-slash-wierd-monarchy-thing-that-could-never-actually-happen would never accomplish the task if Sa of Ra kept getting involved, so he came to Ith. Sentence by sentence, he filled Jude of Ith with knowledge of flower sex organs and the process of heterotroph hypothesis. Soon, he reached the discussion on the flower parts of an incomplete, female flower. This, Jude's puny brain could not comprehend. "Wait....so that's the anther...THERE IS NO ANTHER!??!?!?!?" In seconds, her slightly mishaped and undersized brain fell into overload. Just to be involved, Car of Rie chucked another hand grenade at the already dead and burning and ROTTING IN HELL body of Jude.
THE END
...
They all lived happily ever after.
...
NOW ITS REALLY THE END.
*This story is stated in good humor and should be read with the same except if you are Judith in which case you are a MEAN BUM!!!!! :) JK
Love, Carrie
Here is my story of the dictator, Jude of Ith (you may be a character in this play too)
There once was a time when Ith was one of the greatest societies in the world. It was a society of kindness, and giving. The soil was always fertile thanks to irrigation developed there, and the people lived in cute little cottages with white picket fences. Visitors from the feudal society of Rie and the OVERLY ANNOYING AND POLITICALLY CHAOTIC AND WRONG society of Lex would come to Ith for fun and to learn more about the amazing society and so many of it's contributions to the world. But one day, during the socialist Al of Rex's visit in Ith, a horrible conspiracy took place. The republic was overthrown in Ith, as one by one all the representatives were murdered. A kind hearted, optimistic young girl came to power, promising peace and prosperity even in these times of chaos. But she had a problem: she lied more than John Kerry at a political forum. She was determined to become dictator. Car (pronounced Care) of Rie, the philosopher king of Rie (despite the fact that it was in actuality a feudal society...she was also a lord....or something) was also determined to stop Jude. She quickly jumped on her horse carriage and rode off into the distance. In seven days, she reached Ith. It was too late. Jude had succeeded. All the houses were burnt down. People lived in teepees made of pig's spit. And all the people were in the working class. Anyone above that was immediately declared an enemy of Jude and exiled to Lex, being as Lex is socialist and therefore doesn't give a CRAP about who is in their town. But Al of Lex, Sa of Ra, Car of Rie, and the great ruler Ash of Lee were all determined to protest. Al of Lex protested saying that the human rights violations were so enormous the ridiculously overfunded and completely pointless UN should get involved. He was exiled to Lex, which didn't really matter since he was a Lexan. Sa of Ra said there were not enough pretty things....she, too was exiled to Lex, but Lexan Ruler Al granted her freedom to return to Ra. By the time Ash of Lee came to protest, Jude of Ith was personally present. Ash of Lee exiled herself to Lex. Lastly, was Car of Rie. This ruler was known for her "no nonsense but yet somehow completely non violent" measures. She wanted to use diplomacy. But in all the years that Al of Lex tried, and Sa of Ra tried, and even Ash of Lee tried, it did not work. Car of Rie KNEW she had to take action. She ordered Sa of Ra to come back to Ith. Sa of Ra was determined to help out. This unlikely pair then did the task. Sa of Ra decieved the people into thinking that they would miss a party for Jude of Ith. None of the people wanted this, for they would be exiled to the horrible and socialist Lex! They all gathered 200 miles from Jude of Ith's home. This was to keep them safe. Jude popped her head out of her enourmous house, and asked her guards where all her workers went. They did not know. All of a sudden, Car of Rie flings a hand grenade at the house of Jude. (if this was a political comment on Iraq, it would all end here. How fitting. But for comedy's sake, I will continue) In seconds, it explodes. But just when Car believes she has "disposed" of the evil dictator, she finds that Sa of Ra tampered with the grenade. Only flowers were in it. Pretty things...called Sa of Ra. Car of Rie sighed. She knew she had to do something to prevent Jude of Ith from hurting her people anymore. Car of Rie called on the help of He Who Cannot Be Disturbed. It was a final resort. Bla of Del, the feared warrior, answered her call for justice. It was clear to him that Sa of Ra was talking crap and exhuming far too many raspberries, and that Car of Rie with her water-based-feudal-society-slash-wierd-monarchy-thing-that-could-never-actually-happen would never accomplish the task if Sa of Ra kept getting involved, so he came to Ith. Sentence by sentence, he filled Jude of Ith with knowledge of flower sex organs and the process of heterotroph hypothesis. Soon, he reached the discussion on the flower parts of an incomplete, female flower. This, Jude's puny brain could not comprehend. "Wait....so that's the anther...THERE IS NO ANTHER!??!?!?!?" In seconds, her slightly mishaped and undersized brain fell into overload. Just to be involved, Car of Rie chucked another hand grenade at the already dead and burning and ROTTING IN HELL body of Jude.
THE END
...
They all lived happily ever after.
...
NOW ITS REALLY THE END.
*This story is stated in good humor and should be read with the same except if you are Judith in which case you are a MEAN BUM!!!!! :) JK
Love, Carrie