在老丹尼尔的葬礼的恶魔 The Demons at the Funeral of Old Daniel
Original text in English:
Daniel was a businessman who owned a successful clothing store in New York. Despite being old, he was as healthy as can be, and, at age 85, was still working nine hours a day, six days a week, at his store.
And then, one Saturday morning, while he was greeting customers, Daniel suddenly dropped to the floor, dead. His death saddened the people of New York, for he was a very kind man. He did not have a wife nor any children (his best friend of some-fifty years, an old man named Robert, had lived with him until his death the previous year) and was survived by his younger brother Jacob. Together with his wife and his three children, Jacob arranged the funeral for old Daniel.
They had the funeral two days after his death. Only close family members were in attendance: Jacob, his wife, their children, their children's spouses, and their children's children. All of the five grandchildren were very young, less than twelve years of age, all boys, and were quite rowdy during the funeral. They would shout and jump and throw paper airplanes at each other, causing much disappointment and shame to their parents.
Of course, the only person outside of the family in the funeral, the priest, couldn't punish them, because they were so rich. He just tried the ignore the young boys' noises as he said the prayers.
Suddenly, a voice came from the coffin that said, "I'm not yet dead, you fools. Let me out!" And then there was evil laughter. All of the adults became very frightened. Old Jacob and his wife, both with weak hearts, dropped dead immediately. Finally, the priest washed his hands in holy water and opened the coffin.
Old Daniel was peacefully dead. On his body was a cellular phone, from which came the evil laughter.
The little boys beside their dead grandparents laughed.
Translation in simplified Chinese:
丹尼尔是商人，是成功的衣服商店的老板，商店在纽约。他虽然是老的，但是身体很健康。他八十五岁，还是每天在商店工作九个小时，每星期工作六天。
一个星期六上午，当老丹尼尔在迎接顾客的时候，忽然倒在(dào means to fall or to collapse)地上，死了。因为他很好心 (or 心地善良 xīn dì shàn liáng, which means good-natured)，所以对于他的死 (probably means because of his death)纽约人很悲痛。他没有妻子，没有儿女。（他和最好的朋友一起住在一家，直到朋友去年死了。朋友是老男人，叫罗伯特。他们成为朋友有五十多年了。）丹尼尔的弟弟留了，叫雅各。雅各、他妻子和三个儿女一起安排了老丹尼尔的葬礼。
两天以后，葬礼举行(jǔ xíng, which means to hold)了。参加的家庭成员有：（成员 means member)雅各、他妻子、他儿女、他儿女的爱人、他儿女的孩子。五个孙子都很年轻，小于十二岁，是男孩子，没有礼貌。孙子都在葬礼上喊着，跳了，向对方扔纸飞机，所以他们的父母都非常失望，非常丢脸。
只有一个家庭成员意外的人参加了，是牧师。因为家庭很有钱，所以牧师不能处分孙子。他仅仅没有注意小孩子的吵闹声(chǎo nào shēng, which means noise)，朗读了祷文。
忽然一个声音从寿材说：「我还不是死者，笨蛋啊！让我出去！」，然后一个坏笑出来了。所有的大人都吓坏了。老雅各和他妻子都有弱心，立刻死了。最后牧师用圣水洗手，打开了寿材。
老丹尼尔还是很安静，还是死者。一部手机在他身体上发出坏笑。
小孩子都在死去的祖父母身边笑了。
Translation in traditional Chinese:
丹尼爾是商人，是成功的衣服商店的老闆，商店在紐約。他雖然年邁(nián mài means elderly)，但是身體很健康。他八十五歲，還是每天在商店工作九個小時，每星期工作六天。
一個星期六上午，當老丹尼爾在迎接顧客的時候，忽然倒在地上，就這樣死了。因為他很好心，所以紐約人很悲痛。他沒有妻子，沒有兒女。（他和最要好的朋友住在一起，直到朋友去年死了。朋友是老男人，叫羅伯特。他們是朋友大約五十多年了。）丹尼爾的弟弟留了，叫雅閣。雅閣、他妻子和三個兒女一起安排了老丹尼爾的葬禮。
兩天後，他們舉辦了他的葬禮(jǔ bàn, to conduct)。參加葬禮的家人有：雅閣、他妻子、他兒女、他兒女的愛人、他兒女的孩子。五個孫子都很年輕，小於十二歲，是男孩子，沒有禮貌。孫子都在葬禮喊著，跳了，向對方扔紙飛機，所以他們的父母都非常失望，非常丟臉。
只有一個非(means non-)家庭的人參加了，是位牧師。因為家庭很有錢，所以牧師不能處分孫子。他僅僅忽略(hū lüè, which means ignore)小孩子的吵鬧聲，朗讀了禱文。
忽然一個聲音從棺材發出來(guān cai, which means coffin)說：「我還不是死人，笨蛋啊！讓我出去！」，然後有一個惡魔的笑聲。所有的大人都嚇壞了。老雅閣和他妻子心臟都不好(xīn zàng which means heart)，立刻死了。最後牧師用聖水洗手，打開了棺材。
老丹尼爾還是很安靜，還是死者。在他身體上有一部手機發出壞笑。
都在死的祖父母身邊的小孩子笑了。
Daniel was a businessman who owned a successful clothing store in New York. Despite being old, he was as healthy as can be, and, at age 85, was still working nine hours a day, six days a week, at his store.
And then, one Saturday morning, while he was greeting customers, Daniel suddenly dropped to the floor, dead. His death saddened the people of New York, for he was a very kind man. He did not have a wife nor any children (his best friend of some-fifty years, an old man named Robert, had lived with him until his death the previous year) and was survived by his younger brother Jacob. Together with his wife and his three children, Jacob arranged the funeral for old Daniel.
They had the funeral two days after his death. Only close family members were in attendance: Jacob, his wife, their children, their children's spouses, and their children's children. All of the five grandchildren were very young, less than twelve years of age, all boys, and were quite rowdy during the funeral. They would shout and jump and throw paper airplanes at each other, causing much disappointment and shame to their parents.
Of course, the only person outside of the family in the funeral, the priest, couldn't punish them, because they were so rich. He just tried the ignore the young boys' noises as he said the prayers.
Suddenly, a voice came from the coffin that said, "I'm not yet dead, you fools. Let me out!" And then there was evil laughter. All of the adults became very frightened. Old Jacob and his wife, both with weak hearts, dropped dead immediately. Finally, the priest washed his hands in holy water and opened the coffin.
Old Daniel was peacefully dead. On his body was a cellular phone, from which came the evil laughter.
The little boys beside their dead grandparents laughed.
Translation in simplified Chinese:
丹尼尔是商人，是成功的衣服商店的老板，商店在纽约。他虽然是老的，但是身体很健康。他八十五岁，还是每天在商店工作九个小时，每星期工作六天。
一个星期六上午，当老丹尼尔在迎接顾客的时候，忽然倒在(dào means to fall or to collapse)地上，死了。因为他很好心 (or 心地善良 xīn dì shàn liáng, which means good-natured)，所以对于他的死 (probably means because of his death)纽约人很悲痛。他没有妻子，没有儿女。（他和最好的朋友一起住在一家，直到朋友去年死了。朋友是老男人，叫罗伯特。他们成为朋友有五十多年了。）丹尼尔的弟弟留了，叫雅各。雅各、他妻子和三个儿女一起安排了老丹尼尔的葬礼。
两天以后，葬礼举行(jǔ xíng, which means to hold)了。参加的家庭成员有：（成员 means member)雅各、他妻子、他儿女、他儿女的爱人、他儿女的孩子。五个孙子都很年轻，小于十二岁，是男孩子，没有礼貌。孙子都在葬礼上喊着，跳了，向对方扔纸飞机，所以他们的父母都非常失望，非常丢脸。
只有一个家庭成员意外的人参加了，是牧师。因为家庭很有钱，所以牧师不能处分孙子。他仅仅没有注意小孩子的吵闹声(chǎo nào shēng, which means noise)，朗读了祷文。
忽然一个声音从寿材说：「我还不是死者，笨蛋啊！让我出去！」，然后一个坏笑出来了。所有的大人都吓坏了。老雅各和他妻子都有弱心，立刻死了。最后牧师用圣水洗手，打开了寿材。
老丹尼尔还是很安静，还是死者。一部手机在他身体上发出坏笑。
小孩子都在死去的祖父母身边笑了。
Translation in traditional Chinese:
丹尼爾是商人，是成功的衣服商店的老闆，商店在紐約。他雖然年邁(nián mài means elderly)，但是身體很健康。他八十五歲，還是每天在商店工作九個小時，每星期工作六天。
一個星期六上午，當老丹尼爾在迎接顧客的時候，忽然倒在地上，就這樣死了。因為他很好心，所以紐約人很悲痛。他沒有妻子，沒有兒女。（他和最要好的朋友住在一起，直到朋友去年死了。朋友是老男人，叫羅伯特。他們是朋友大約五十多年了。）丹尼爾的弟弟留了，叫雅閣。雅閣、他妻子和三個兒女一起安排了老丹尼爾的葬禮。
兩天後，他們舉辦了他的葬禮(jǔ bàn, to conduct)。參加葬禮的家人有：雅閣、他妻子、他兒女、他兒女的愛人、他兒女的孩子。五個孫子都很年輕，小於十二歲，是男孩子，沒有禮貌。孫子都在葬禮喊著，跳了，向對方扔紙飛機，所以他們的父母都非常失望，非常丟臉。
只有一個非(means non-)家庭的人參加了，是位牧師。因為家庭很有錢，所以牧師不能處分孫子。他僅僅忽略(hū lüè, which means ignore)小孩子的吵鬧聲，朗讀了禱文。
忽然一個聲音從棺材發出來(guān cai, which means coffin)說：「我還不是死人，笨蛋啊！讓我出去！」，然後有一個惡魔的笑聲。所有的大人都嚇壞了。老雅閣和他妻子心臟都不好(xīn zàng which means heart)，立刻死了。最後牧師用聖水洗手，打開了棺材。
老丹尼爾還是很安靜，還是死者。在他身體上有一部手機發出壞笑。
都在死的祖父母身邊的小孩子笑了。