staring at a ghost...
you know things are getting bad when I resort to live journal again.
But then again its probably my fault for making the same mistakes again and again... and again and again and again.
I want it to end. I just want to stop. Turn myself off for a while or maybe be someone else. I want to be someone incredible. Someone people write songs about... someone everyone wishes they were loved by. I want to be someone everyone thinks is worthwhile... even if they aren't. I want to fake it better... to the point where I really believe it.
I feel nothing for this place and nothing for life. And everything I DO feel something for now is a dead end. I think that I might be a dead end. And everyone who crosses my path invariably has to turn around and go back the way they came... I have nothing to offer really. I have fallen back into the pit. I know that no one will ever be able to pull me out... even if they think they can. Even if they swear on their life that they want nothing more than to make me feel and make me live again. Even if they really really want it... there is always something blocking me from the rest of the world. Now I have to start getting used to this idea all over again... winter in this city never helps.
Its time to re-boot.
ps... more lyrics...
I’m suspended
In between the bad and the unthinkable
and all I feel
is nothing but intangible.
The miles never even mattered
and its funny how much we cried,
how goddamn hard we tried.
Well look at us now,
What were we crying for?
I was interrupted.
By the way you looked at me.
And I’m sorry
but I just couldn’t see,
the other side of your dreams,
where the headlights never glowed,
and our intentions overflowed
into darkness,
past foreseeable disaster.
We don’t like to hurt with words, no.
Oh but we burn each other with our thoughts.
And we never cease to think out loud, no.
and turn our pretty past to grey
So how long can we tell ourselves
words are only words,
when the only words that hurt me,
are the ones that you never say?
But then again its probably my fault for making the same mistakes again and again... and again and again and again.
I want it to end. I just want to stop. Turn myself off for a while or maybe be someone else. I want to be someone incredible. Someone people write songs about... someone everyone wishes they were loved by. I want to be someone everyone thinks is worthwhile... even if they aren't. I want to fake it better... to the point where I really believe it.
I feel nothing for this place and nothing for life. And everything I DO feel something for now is a dead end. I think that I might be a dead end. And everyone who crosses my path invariably has to turn around and go back the way they came... I have nothing to offer really. I have fallen back into the pit. I know that no one will ever be able to pull me out... even if they think they can. Even if they swear on their life that they want nothing more than to make me feel and make me live again. Even if they really really want it... there is always something blocking me from the rest of the world. Now I have to start getting used to this idea all over again... winter in this city never helps.
Its time to re-boot.
ps... more lyrics...
I’m suspended
In between the bad and the unthinkable
and all I feel
is nothing but intangible.
The miles never even mattered
and its funny how much we cried,
how goddamn hard we tried.
Well look at us now,
What were we crying for?
I was interrupted.
By the way you looked at me.
And I’m sorry
but I just couldn’t see,
the other side of your dreams,
where the headlights never glowed,
and our intentions overflowed
into darkness,
past foreseeable disaster.
We don’t like to hurt with words, no.
Oh but we burn each other with our thoughts.
And we never cease to think out loud, no.
and turn our pretty past to grey
So how long can we tell ourselves
words are only words,
when the only words that hurt me,
are the ones that you never say?