More Drama

Jul 22, 2011 13:29

Apparently drama doesn't end in high school when it comes to some people.

It's easier to just post the actual messages because it's too heartbreaking to explain.

Me: You know, I have always been there for you. I've jumped when you wanted someone to go out with, kept all your secrets, helped you study many times. I have never once said a bad thing about you, broke a promise, or stabbed you in the back. I expressed ONE TIME frustration with you and you write me out of your life. I feel really hurt. I was trying to express frustration with the fact that, whether or not you admit it, I was paying more for the dress than the other bridesmaids AND I was making 300 treats (3 treats per person) out of pocket plus paying for the hair. I know you offered to pay for the treats, but I wanted to do it as a wedding gift. Even excluding the cost, taking on that kind of task is a huge thing (especially time wise). It's not like just buying a cake or making one dish. Go to any bakery and ask how much it would cost and how much time they'd need. You just didn't even seem to appreciate it, which is what I was getting at. I wasn't
saying I couldn't or wouldn't pay for those things. I was saying that every time I wanted you to be a friend - like by expressing that my parents just split up or that my cousin just died of cancer (and left behind a nine year old little girl), all you cared about was what I was doing for the wedding. You never once offered FRIENDSHIP - an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on. You once said that the gift that the bridesmaids would recieve as a thank you for participating in your wedding was the dress and shoes - my dress had to be altered, basically made into a new dress at my expense and the shoes were two sizes too big. You never once acknowledged that or expressed concern at the costs I was paying for the altering, when I have three kids at home to support. The other bridesmaids may have to pay for minor alters, but mine was going to be 3 x's as much.. I have a husband that I have to justify expenses to. Traditionally, if the bride wants only one person to syle hair and do make-up they offer to cover the cost or give the bridesmaids an inexpensive alternative that they can seek out on their own. It wasn't that I didn't want to be in your wedding. I do care about you, and about Tom very much. However, I wasn't willing to be treated like a means to an end. I am a human being, with feelings and frustrations. I know you're going through a lot with a whole wedding to plan, believe me I have been there. But you have to think of your friends even in the midst of all that. You have to be willing to bend at least some of the time for the people who are trying to help you. I am still willing to make the treat bags and cover the cost. I am a person of my word and I am very happy that you are getting married. I don't understand the reasons that you have for pulling me out of your wedding. I never said one ill word towards you, with the exception of telling you that I felt your actions were childish and selfish because you did pull me out of your wedding when I was only trying to communicate what I was feeling. I feel like a real friend would've at least been willing to try to talk to me and get my side of things. Anyway....let me know.

Her: angela, you keep digging yourself a bigger hole. Why dont you read all those textes you wrote me as if i wrote them to you and see how it makes you feel. You have made it perfectly clear that i am not a good friend so i guess we dont need to be friends. I paid for all the dresses and shoes, 200 dollars a maid and the alterations everyone has to pay for themsleves. You are not the only one that has to pay for alterations. I have bent over backwards for people my whole life and got nothing out of it. Right know i have to much to deal with. I cant do this right know. I picked up your dress. So please stop writing me and telling me what you expect out of me as a friend. You pissed me off so bad by, for one, telling me what a shitty person i was, and for two, do ing it by text. If you needed to talk to me, texting is not the best way. I was only defending myself. We can get together and talk about it, but not before the wedding.

Me: No...I never told you what a shitty person you were. First, I text messaged you before I left for Portland and told you that I was sorry a I was unavailable for the dress fitting and that I'd been kind of unavailable because my cousin just died and my dad just left my mom, putting me in the middle of a lot of family drama. Your only response was "You didn't get the dress fitted?" When I got back from Portland, I immediately went to get the dress fitted and you just started asking for money and if I was making the fudge yet. You didn't even express any sympathy, which would be normal for a friend to do. This made me feel really unappreciated and frustrated. I expressed that to you. Also, the other bridemaids may have to do small alterations, but you already purchased the dress in their sizes. I was having to pay for the dress to be completely remade. The lady even laughed when I went in to get it altered because it was so big on me. The cost is totally different. I pay 5-10 dollars for small alterations, not sixty. I read every single message over and over again. I even had Jeff and a close friend read it because I was really upset and asking if I had said anything offensive. Jeff just shook his head and told me that you were being unreasonable. Of course, hes my husband so hes going to take my side but he also knows what kind of friend that I have been to you. I said I knew what kind of friend you were because a good friend would never pull someone out of their wedding for expressing legitimate frustration, even if they didn't agree with them.And I am not "people"...I thought I was a friend. I thought you were a friend. I have never called someone a shitty person and I resent that you would even tell someone that is what I did. I am a good person and have always stood up for you, even when you did things that did not align with my morals. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want you in my life if this is the way you are going to treat me, with no respect and no thought to how I feel. The other night I just started bawling my eyes out to Jeff and he said, "You don't deserve this. You've been nothing but kind and a good friend to her. " And he's right. I don't deserve this.
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