HoND, chapter 54
I find my interest in reading The Hunchback of Notre Dame to be waning. Not because I don't like the book, but because I hate endings.
Out of all the stories I've ever enjoyed, be they books, movies, graphic novels, video games, what have you, there is only one ending* I've actually liked rather than merely tolerated** or outright despised***. More than once, I've stopped reading books and/or playing games right before the final chapter/boss fight, just so they won't end.
Endings: fuck 'em.
But despite me being the Pharaoh of Denial, endings do happen. And we're getting close to ours. Fortunately, it's not in this update, so we can delay the inevitable for just a wee bit longer.
Chapter 54 takes us back to the beginning of the siege of Notre Dame to give us the whole scene from Esmeralda's perspective. Her perspective is as follows.
ESMERALDA: Zzzzzz...
RIOT: /is happening
ESMERALDA: wtf is that?
TWO DUDES: /enter her cell
ESMERALDA: Who the crap are you and what is going on out there?
PIERRE GRINGOIRE: Oh hey, this ~mysterious figure~ and I have come to rescue you. Sound good?
FROLLOMYSTERIOUS!FIGURE: ...
ESMERALDA: Yeah sure whatever.
Esmeralda, Djali, Gringoire, and the ~mysterious figure~ sneak out of Notre Dame and cross the river.
pg. 423: It is certain that Gringoire was in a cruel dilemma. He considered that, as the law then stood, the goat would be hanged too if she were retaken; that it would be a great pity-poor dear Djali!-that two condemned ones thus clinging to him were more than he could thus manage; that, besides, his companion desired nothing better than to take charge of the Egyptian. A violent conflict ensued among this thoughts, in which, like Homer's Jupiter, he weighed by turns the Egyptian and the goat; and he looked first at tone and then at the other with eyes brimful of tears, muttering at the same time between his teeth: "And yet I cannot save you both!"
Uh, why? What exactly is preventing him from rescuing Esmeralda and Djali at the same time? What cosmic power is forcing him to choose between them?
This is never explained. Instead, Pierre Gringoire steals Djali and runs away. I assume they live happily ever after. Much like Clopin.
The ~mysterious figure~ leads Esmeralda to a gibbet, where he reveals his true identity. To absolutely no one's surprise, it's Frollo! He makes Esmeralda an offer she can't refuse.
FROLLO: Me or the gibbet.
ESMERALDA: The gibbet.
Frollo gracefully accepts her answer and goes on his merry way.
Just kidding! Instead he launches into a speech about how much he loves her and how he can't stand knowing that she hates him and how he can't stop thinking about her and how she's ruined him forever and it goes on for pages and pages. In the midst of all this, he remembers something.
pg. 427: He kept silence for a moment, and then began again, as if speaking to himself, in a loud tone: "Cain, what hast thou done with thy brother?"
Oh, shit.
pg. 427: Again he paused, and then continued: "What have I done with him, Lord? I have taken him unto me, I have fed him, I have brought him up, I have loved him, I have idolized him, and, I have slain him! Yes, Lord, he it was whose head was but now dashed before mine eyes against the stones of thy temple, and it was on my account
Well, at least he's being more responsible about it than the Biblical Cain was.
pg. 427: and on account of this female, on her account."
...or not.
Frollo breaks into tears at this point, then goes back to ranting.
pg. 428: "I will have thee. Thou wilt not have me for a slave; thou shall have me for a master. Thou shalt be mine. I have a den to which I will drag thee. Thou shalt come, thou must come with me, or I will deliver thee up! Thou must die, girl, or be mine-be the priest's, the apostate's, the assasin's! The choice rests with thyself-decide instantly; for I will not submit to further humiliations."
Um, dude, she already decided. Like two pages ago.
Shockingly enough, not only does Esmeralda's decision remains the same, but Frollo's refusal to submit to further humiliations fails to hold.
pg. 429: "Once more," said he, "wilt thou be mine?"
What part of NO is confusing to you?
So yeah, Esmeralda refuses him for a third and (thank God) final time.
pg. 429: He then cried aloud: "Gudule! Sister Gudule! Here is the Egyptian! Revenge thyself upon her!"
For those of you who don't remember, Sister Gudule is the lady living in the sealed-off hole-in-the-wall who keeps ranting about how gypsies ate her baby. She's not a huge fan of Esmeralda.
Gudule grabs Esmeralda's arm and holds her in place while Frollo goes to fetch the guards. The two ladies get to talkin', and Gudule expresses her excitement at the prospect of being able to revenge herself on "the Egyptians" through Esmeralda.
pg. 431: "Now it is my turn; I will feast on the Egyptian. Oh, how I would bite thee if I could get my head between the bars!"
Omnomnom. In response, Esmeralda proclaims her innocence and begs for mercy. Gudule would be oh-so-happy to grant it, if Esmeralda could do just one little thing for her.
pg. 431: "Give me back my child," said the recluse.
...Well, good luck with that, Esmeralda.
Gudule goes on and on about her lost baby, how it was taken from her fifteen years ago, how Esmeralda makes her so angry because she's just that age, and then she shows off the little pink baby shoe she's kept for the last decade-and-a-half.
pg. 432: "Let me look at that shoe," said the girl, shuddering. "Gracious God!" At the same time, with the hand that was at liberty, she tore open the little bag adorned with green beads which she still wore about her neck.
Oh no.
pg. 432: "Go to! go to!" muttered Gudule; "fumble away in thy infernal amulet!" Then stopping short, and trembling in every joint, she cried with a voice hissing from her very bowels-"My child! my child!"
No.
pg. 432: The Egyptian had taken out of the bag a little shoe that was the precise fellow to the other. To this little shoe was attached a piece of parchment, upon which was written this legend: "When the fellow thou shalt find, Thy mother is not far behind."
You cannot be serious. That's what's in Esmeralda's amulet? A baby shoe?
Okay, so explain me what the fuck that has to do with Esmeralda's virginity.
Remember, kids, it was clearly stated in the narrative that the amulet would only help Esmeralda find her mother if she remained celibate. What would happen to the shoe if she had sex? Would it change color? Would it dissolve? How does Esmeralda's sexual experience affect the shoe in any way, shape or form?
Explain, Hugo! EXPLAIN!
Instead of an explanation, we get a tearful mother-daughter reunion. Gudule breaks the bars on her cell and drags Esmeralda inside to hide her from the guards, who arrive shortly thereafter, led by Tristan the Hermit.
TRISTAN: Where's the gypsy?
GUDULE: She bit me and ran away.
TRISTAN: Why are the bars on your window broken?
GUDULE: Some asshole parked his cart on 'em.
TRISTAN: Which way did the gypsy go?
GUDULE: She swam across the river.
pg. 439: "Who ever heard of women swimming!" cried the soldier.
I have no words.
Eventually, CSI: Paris loses interest in interrogating Gudule and starts to wander off. One soldier in particular speaks up.
pg. 440: "Corboeuf! Mr. Provost, 'tis no business of mine, who am a soldier, to hang witches. The beggarly crew are beneath one. I leave you to attend to it alone. You must permit me to go and rejoin my company, because it is without a captain."
That voice was the voice of Phoebus de Chateaupers.
Oh, double shit.
pg. 440: [Esmeralda] sprang up, and, before her mother could prevent her, darted to the window, crying, "Phoebus! my Phoebus! come hither!"
Phoebus has flounced off by this point, but the rest of the guards are around to round up Esmeralda. It takes them a couple of pages to break into the cell and pry her away from Gudule. During this time, Gudule delivers an impassioned speech on how totally cruel it is to separate a mother and daughter. This speech is so effective that it makes the guards cry, but not so effective that it stops them from doing what they came here to do. So Gudule turns to less conventional methods.
pg. 448: At that moment the mother, crouched on the pavement, opened her eyes. Without uttering any cry, she sprang up with a terrific look; then, like a beast of prey, she seized the hand of the hangman and bit him. It was like lightning. The executioner roared with pain. Some of the sergeants ran to him. With difficulty they extricated his bleeding hand from the teeth of the mother. She maintained profound silence. They thrust her back in a brutal manner, and it was remarked that her head fell heavily upon the pavement. They lifted her up, but again she sank to the ground. She was dead.
Rather reminds me of the death of Quasi's mom in the Disney movie, if Quasi's mom were a badass.
And so the chapter closes, with Gudule dead, Esmeralda about to be hanged, and Phoebus not giving a crap.
*This would be the ending of the Avatar: The Last Airbender cartoon.
**Most endings fall into this category.
***Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and Tales of Symphonia being just a few examples.
-
Other adventures in Hunchback of Notre Dame reading include:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11 (You Are Here)
Part 12
Out of all the stories I've ever enjoyed, be they books, movies, graphic novels, video games, what have you, there is only one ending* I've actually liked rather than merely tolerated** or outright despised***. More than once, I've stopped reading books and/or playing games right before the final chapter/boss fight, just so they won't end.
Endings: fuck 'em.
But despite me being the Pharaoh of Denial, endings do happen. And we're getting close to ours. Fortunately, it's not in this update, so we can delay the inevitable for just a wee bit longer.
Chapter 54 takes us back to the beginning of the siege of Notre Dame to give us the whole scene from Esmeralda's perspective. Her perspective is as follows.
ESMERALDA: Zzzzzz...
RIOT: /is happening
ESMERALDA: wtf is that?
TWO DUDES: /enter her cell
ESMERALDA: Who the crap are you and what is going on out there?
PIERRE GRINGOIRE: Oh hey, this ~mysterious figure~ and I have come to rescue you. Sound good?
FROLLOMYSTERIOUS!FIGURE: ...
ESMERALDA: Yeah sure whatever.
Esmeralda, Djali, Gringoire, and the ~mysterious figure~ sneak out of Notre Dame and cross the river.
pg. 423: It is certain that Gringoire was in a cruel dilemma. He considered that, as the law then stood, the goat would be hanged too if she were retaken; that it would be a great pity-poor dear Djali!-that two condemned ones thus clinging to him were more than he could thus manage; that, besides, his companion desired nothing better than to take charge of the Egyptian. A violent conflict ensued among this thoughts, in which, like Homer's Jupiter, he weighed by turns the Egyptian and the goat; and he looked first at tone and then at the other with eyes brimful of tears, muttering at the same time between his teeth: "And yet I cannot save you both!"
Uh, why? What exactly is preventing him from rescuing Esmeralda and Djali at the same time? What cosmic power is forcing him to choose between them?
This is never explained. Instead, Pierre Gringoire steals Djali and runs away. I assume they live happily ever after. Much like Clopin.
The ~mysterious figure~ leads Esmeralda to a gibbet, where he reveals his true identity. To absolutely no one's surprise, it's Frollo! He makes Esmeralda an offer she can't refuse.
FROLLO: Me or the gibbet.
ESMERALDA: The gibbet.
Frollo gracefully accepts her answer and goes on his merry way.
Just kidding! Instead he launches into a speech about how much he loves her and how he can't stand knowing that she hates him and how he can't stop thinking about her and how she's ruined him forever and it goes on for pages and pages. In the midst of all this, he remembers something.
pg. 427: He kept silence for a moment, and then began again, as if speaking to himself, in a loud tone: "Cain, what hast thou done with thy brother?"
Oh, shit.
pg. 427: Again he paused, and then continued: "What have I done with him, Lord? I have taken him unto me, I have fed him, I have brought him up, I have loved him, I have idolized him, and, I have slain him! Yes, Lord, he it was whose head was but now dashed before mine eyes against the stones of thy temple, and it was on my account
Well, at least he's being more responsible about it than the Biblical Cain was.
pg. 427: and on account of this female, on her account."
...or not.
Frollo breaks into tears at this point, then goes back to ranting.
pg. 428: "I will have thee. Thou wilt not have me for a slave; thou shall have me for a master. Thou shalt be mine. I have a den to which I will drag thee. Thou shalt come, thou must come with me, or I will deliver thee up! Thou must die, girl, or be mine-be the priest's, the apostate's, the assasin's! The choice rests with thyself-decide instantly; for I will not submit to further humiliations."
Um, dude, she already decided. Like two pages ago.
Shockingly enough, not only does Esmeralda's decision remains the same, but Frollo's refusal to submit to further humiliations fails to hold.
pg. 429: "Once more," said he, "wilt thou be mine?"
What part of NO is confusing to you?
So yeah, Esmeralda refuses him for a third and (thank God) final time.
pg. 429: He then cried aloud: "Gudule! Sister Gudule! Here is the Egyptian! Revenge thyself upon her!"
For those of you who don't remember, Sister Gudule is the lady living in the sealed-off hole-in-the-wall who keeps ranting about how gypsies ate her baby. She's not a huge fan of Esmeralda.
Gudule grabs Esmeralda's arm and holds her in place while Frollo goes to fetch the guards. The two ladies get to talkin', and Gudule expresses her excitement at the prospect of being able to revenge herself on "the Egyptians" through Esmeralda.
pg. 431: "Now it is my turn; I will feast on the Egyptian. Oh, how I would bite thee if I could get my head between the bars!"
Omnomnom. In response, Esmeralda proclaims her innocence and begs for mercy. Gudule would be oh-so-happy to grant it, if Esmeralda could do just one little thing for her.
pg. 431: "Give me back my child," said the recluse.
...Well, good luck with that, Esmeralda.
Gudule goes on and on about her lost baby, how it was taken from her fifteen years ago, how Esmeralda makes her so angry because she's just that age, and then she shows off the little pink baby shoe she's kept for the last decade-and-a-half.
pg. 432: "Let me look at that shoe," said the girl, shuddering. "Gracious God!" At the same time, with the hand that was at liberty, she tore open the little bag adorned with green beads which she still wore about her neck.
Oh no.
pg. 432: "Go to! go to!" muttered Gudule; "fumble away in thy infernal amulet!" Then stopping short, and trembling in every joint, she cried with a voice hissing from her very bowels-"My child! my child!"
No.
pg. 432: The Egyptian had taken out of the bag a little shoe that was the precise fellow to the other. To this little shoe was attached a piece of parchment, upon which was written this legend: "When the fellow thou shalt find, Thy mother is not far behind."
You cannot be serious. That's what's in Esmeralda's amulet? A baby shoe?
Okay, so explain me what the fuck that has to do with Esmeralda's virginity.
Remember, kids, it was clearly stated in the narrative that the amulet would only help Esmeralda find her mother if she remained celibate. What would happen to the shoe if she had sex? Would it change color? Would it dissolve? How does Esmeralda's sexual experience affect the shoe in any way, shape or form?
Explain, Hugo! EXPLAIN!
Instead of an explanation, we get a tearful mother-daughter reunion. Gudule breaks the bars on her cell and drags Esmeralda inside to hide her from the guards, who arrive shortly thereafter, led by Tristan the Hermit.
TRISTAN: Where's the gypsy?
GUDULE: She bit me and ran away.
TRISTAN: Why are the bars on your window broken?
GUDULE: Some asshole parked his cart on 'em.
TRISTAN: Which way did the gypsy go?
GUDULE: She swam across the river.
pg. 439: "Who ever heard of women swimming!" cried the soldier.
I have no words.
Eventually, CSI: Paris loses interest in interrogating Gudule and starts to wander off. One soldier in particular speaks up.
pg. 440: "Corboeuf! Mr. Provost, 'tis no business of mine, who am a soldier, to hang witches. The beggarly crew are beneath one. I leave you to attend to it alone. You must permit me to go and rejoin my company, because it is without a captain."
That voice was the voice of Phoebus de Chateaupers.
Oh, double shit.
pg. 440: [Esmeralda] sprang up, and, before her mother could prevent her, darted to the window, crying, "Phoebus! my Phoebus! come hither!"
Phoebus has flounced off by this point, but the rest of the guards are around to round up Esmeralda. It takes them a couple of pages to break into the cell and pry her away from Gudule. During this time, Gudule delivers an impassioned speech on how totally cruel it is to separate a mother and daughter. This speech is so effective that it makes the guards cry, but not so effective that it stops them from doing what they came here to do. So Gudule turns to less conventional methods.
pg. 448: At that moment the mother, crouched on the pavement, opened her eyes. Without uttering any cry, she sprang up with a terrific look; then, like a beast of prey, she seized the hand of the hangman and bit him. It was like lightning. The executioner roared with pain. Some of the sergeants ran to him. With difficulty they extricated his bleeding hand from the teeth of the mother. She maintained profound silence. They thrust her back in a brutal manner, and it was remarked that her head fell heavily upon the pavement. They lifted her up, but again she sank to the ground. She was dead.
Rather reminds me of the death of Quasi's mom in the Disney movie, if Quasi's mom were a badass.
And so the chapter closes, with Gudule dead, Esmeralda about to be hanged, and Phoebus not giving a crap.
*This would be the ending of the Avatar: The Last Airbender cartoon.
**Most endings fall into this category.
***Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and Tales of Symphonia being just a few examples.
-
Other adventures in Hunchback of Notre Dame reading include:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11 (You Are Here)
Part 12