If you have no voice, scream; if you have no legs, run; if you have no hope, invent.
Long time no type from me I know...you could say that I've been busy or just lazy, and I would say that either way you would be right.
I'm very happy for evey one's successes and differences, and I'm sorry for their tribulations what ever they may be...I'm here for All of you no matter how far that may seem in your eyes...
I feel like my friends have become like my family in some ways, the good, and the bad.
Some have become distant in the physical or just in nature...
Its like we're slowly becoming this hand..it was once a fist, but is now stretching its fingers out and open, further from one another.
As much as I don't want that to be us, life does go on..and if by accepting that I'm a calus bitch, hardened from emotions that others chose to revel in, then so be it..thats how I deal with things like this.
I wish the best for all of you and am ALWAYS thinking of you.
I love my friends, and though I won't be here for a little while my heart will.
Have lots of fun for me so I can hear all about it when i return. :)
These past few weeks have been so strange, like I've finally started to wake up and see things in a new light.
The smell of six a.m., freshly cut grass, rose blossoms...
I have made it a point to smell somethings twice...on the second time around I close my eyes and remember what that reminds me of...the last time I smelled it...how I felt during that time...how I perceived the world...that was so different then, I'm so different now.
It's really amazing.
I can't explain it any other way.
There are so many things that I wish that I could do, but the only thing that is keeping me from doing them (really) is myself...and I think that when I get to the point to where I have nothing holding me back or down, not even me, that will be a truly profound time to be me.
Not sure sure that I know where to go from here...but what I do know is this: I love, and love to be loved that will never change, but me wanting to put that into someone else's hands has. I don't think that anyone else understands me on that..as much as I would love to have a relationship, to love someone and cherish them so dearly that I would devote the rest of my years to being lost in their eyes and entwined with their soul, to have that feeling of being understood, to where a hug or a kiss from that person would be the highest moment of my day, to where they feel like oxygen...I just am so tired everything. The moment when I realized that I felt like I just want to give up on every possible potential "significant other" because they would turn out to be so weak and confused about themselves, that they might never see me for who I was, causing me to fade into the background noise of my own mind and be lost, even to myself.
Yah, so I'm rambling now about everything and nothing all at once..matches my mood oddly enough...
LATER.
I'm very happy for evey one's successes and differences, and I'm sorry for their tribulations what ever they may be...I'm here for All of you no matter how far that may seem in your eyes...
I feel like my friends have become like my family in some ways, the good, and the bad.
Some have become distant in the physical or just in nature...
Its like we're slowly becoming this hand..it was once a fist, but is now stretching its fingers out and open, further from one another.
As much as I don't want that to be us, life does go on..and if by accepting that I'm a calus bitch, hardened from emotions that others chose to revel in, then so be it..thats how I deal with things like this.
I wish the best for all of you and am ALWAYS thinking of you.
I love my friends, and though I won't be here for a little while my heart will.
Have lots of fun for me so I can hear all about it when i return. :)
These past few weeks have been so strange, like I've finally started to wake up and see things in a new light.
The smell of six a.m., freshly cut grass, rose blossoms...
I have made it a point to smell somethings twice...on the second time around I close my eyes and remember what that reminds me of...the last time I smelled it...how I felt during that time...how I perceived the world...that was so different then, I'm so different now.
It's really amazing.
I can't explain it any other way.
There are so many things that I wish that I could do, but the only thing that is keeping me from doing them (really) is myself...and I think that when I get to the point to where I have nothing holding me back or down, not even me, that will be a truly profound time to be me.
Not sure sure that I know where to go from here...but what I do know is this: I love, and love to be loved that will never change, but me wanting to put that into someone else's hands has. I don't think that anyone else understands me on that..as much as I would love to have a relationship, to love someone and cherish them so dearly that I would devote the rest of my years to being lost in their eyes and entwined with their soul, to have that feeling of being understood, to where a hug or a kiss from that person would be the highest moment of my day, to where they feel like oxygen...I just am so tired everything. The moment when I realized that I felt like I just want to give up on every possible potential "significant other" because they would turn out to be so weak and confused about themselves, that they might never see me for who I was, causing me to fade into the background noise of my own mind and be lost, even to myself.
Yah, so I'm rambling now about everything and nothing all at once..matches my mood oddly enough...
LATER.