Smoking update
So Willo and Slutdiary wanted to know about my smoking cessation.
Here's the skinny- NOT VERY WELL!
I'm still smoking. Some days its two cigarettes. Some days it's five or seven. I've gone a total of three days smoke-free, and I know that biologically, the crap leaves the system at about day three.
I'll admit it, I'm weak and allowing myself to fall back on a crutch that I've had for years. It's not an excuse, but my family life is stressing me the FUCK out.
Why aren't you in school?
Why don't you have a job yet?
Why do you go out all the time? (twice a week I take off to Seattle)
You can't do X until you've cleaned your room and done your laundry.
The arguments over simple things, like curfew. I'll be 24 in 10 days. If I say I'll be home, I'll be home. If I say I'm staying the night at a friend's house, I'm staying the night at a friend's house. Yes, if I have a family dinner to go to, I will BE ON TIME for it. I don't think I NEED a curfew.
I don't pay rent, but I keep the house clean so my mother doesn't have to. I walk the dogs. I feed the cats. All I ask is not to get the third degree on where I've been, what I did, who I was with and why wasn't I home.
The bottom line is that since I don't have an income, I don't have the right to do anything without their scrutiny and say-so. This isn't my supposing, this is pretty much verbatim. I NEED out of this house if I'm going to be able to do the things I want. Unfortunantely, I won't be able to.
So nutshell? Yeah, I'm still smoking. Less, granted, and being with non-smokers 2-4 times a week is really been a big help, but I'm still reverting to it when I'm stressed.
Oh. And my bi polar meds are running out. (all of my scrips are running out, actually, but that's the big one.) I've cut my dose in half so I can take them longer, but I think it's having a negative effect. I wonder if it's worth stringing it out like that, or just taking them like normal and running out quicker. I'm scared of what will happen if I suddenly become un-medicated. My last freak-out had me locked in a closet and all sharp objects removed from my work. (in hindsight, watching my SGT pack up my stapler, staple puller-outer, nail file, and pocket knife was really funny, since my SFC Wiley came right in and gave me his claw knife and offered to spar)
Me=not doing well.
Thank GOD for good friends and chosen family.
Here's the skinny- NOT VERY WELL!
I'm still smoking. Some days its two cigarettes. Some days it's five or seven. I've gone a total of three days smoke-free, and I know that biologically, the crap leaves the system at about day three.
I'll admit it, I'm weak and allowing myself to fall back on a crutch that I've had for years. It's not an excuse, but my family life is stressing me the FUCK out.
Why aren't you in school?
Why don't you have a job yet?
Why do you go out all the time? (twice a week I take off to Seattle)
You can't do X until you've cleaned your room and done your laundry.
The arguments over simple things, like curfew. I'll be 24 in 10 days. If I say I'll be home, I'll be home. If I say I'm staying the night at a friend's house, I'm staying the night at a friend's house. Yes, if I have a family dinner to go to, I will BE ON TIME for it. I don't think I NEED a curfew.
I don't pay rent, but I keep the house clean so my mother doesn't have to. I walk the dogs. I feed the cats. All I ask is not to get the third degree on where I've been, what I did, who I was with and why wasn't I home.
The bottom line is that since I don't have an income, I don't have the right to do anything without their scrutiny and say-so. This isn't my supposing, this is pretty much verbatim. I NEED out of this house if I'm going to be able to do the things I want. Unfortunantely, I won't be able to.
So nutshell? Yeah, I'm still smoking. Less, granted, and being with non-smokers 2-4 times a week is really been a big help, but I'm still reverting to it when I'm stressed.
Oh. And my bi polar meds are running out. (all of my scrips are running out, actually, but that's the big one.) I've cut my dose in half so I can take them longer, but I think it's having a negative effect. I wonder if it's worth stringing it out like that, or just taking them like normal and running out quicker. I'm scared of what will happen if I suddenly become un-medicated. My last freak-out had me locked in a closet and all sharp objects removed from my work. (in hindsight, watching my SGT pack up my stapler, staple puller-outer, nail file, and pocket knife was really funny, since my SFC Wiley came right in and gave me his claw knife and offered to spar)
Me=not doing well.
Thank GOD for good friends and chosen family.