Five Times Entry: Every Lady Needs an Escort (And Every Gentleman Too), Chapter Five
Series Title: Five Times one of the Glee guys agree to go on a date with Mercedes and One Time she returned the favour- Original 12
Title: Every Lady Needs an Escort (and Every Gentleman Too)
Chapter: Five, Prom with Kurt
Author: happy_overdose
Disclaimer: I disclaim ownership, but not love.
Entry for Five Times
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Mercedes was right there when they put up the poster. It was a call to purchase prom tickets. She sighed.
She had been dreading it for a while. She wants to go (like burning!) But seriously, who was gonna ask her? She knew she was a sassy beautiful confident young woman, but it kinda sucked that McKinley’s male population hadn’t woken up to that fact yet.
She would ambush one of the Glee guys again, if she didn’t have a heart. They deserved to go with who they wanted. If anything, she would just go by herself. The prospect didn’t really sound fun.
She wondered if any of her brothers would be free that weekend.
…
In Glee club she sat listening to Tina, Brittany and Quinn talking about the dresses they wanted to wear. She kept silent. ‘Til Quinn elbows her.
“You are coming right?”
Mercedes shrugged, “I dunno. I don’t have anyone to go with.”
She hears the loudest, harshest, most dramatic gasp she has ever heard and looks to see Kurt on her other side, hand on his chest looking super offended. Mercedes’ eyebrow shot up.
“What?”
“Don’t what me!” he scolded, “No one to go with! ‘Cedes, I’m your boy! It’s like, prearranged marriage or something!”
“But don’t you wanna go with, you know, a guy?” Mercedes asked.
“Um, boo, you think I’d stand you up for some McKinley bonehead who is not going to appreciate me anyway? No way!”
“Kurt, honey, you don’t have to settle for me. I’m sure you can...”
Kurt rolled his eyes, “What do you want from me? A big romantic gesture? Okay, here goes.”
He stood up, faced her, and took a breath like he was preparing to go into character.
“Mercedes, baby,” he said in a great John-Travolta-in-Grease imitation, “From the moment we met I knew you were going to be my fierce fashionista in crime. And I also knew then you would be my date to prom.”
“Awwww,” said Quinn and Tina. Mercedes giggled.
“I wanna be the one to buy your corsage. I wanna be the one to take lame pictures with you in your foyer. I wanna be the one to get the first dance with you, even if it’s the Macarena or something equally cheesy. I wanna...I wanna...”
“Get in your pants!” Puck supplied.
Kurt shot him a glare, “And I rest my case about McKinley boneheads. Anyway, ‘Cedes, I wanna be the one to hold your purse while you go hook up with some random dude. I wanna sample the spiked punch with you. So,” he actually went on one knee, “Mercedes Jones, will you go to prom with me?”
By this time, Mercedes is grinning broadly and she can’t stop, “I don’t know what to say!”
“Dammit woman say yes!” Artie yelled.
“Say yes, Mercedes, or I will!” said Rachel.
She’s sure her grin has gone stupid big by now, “Yes Kurt, I’ll go to prom with you!”
Everyone applauds and Kurt hugs Mercedes and Mr. Shue walks in confused.
“Gay kid just proposed to Aretha!” Santana explained.
That didn’t seem to help.
... ...
They plan everything. Mercedes’ dress is spectacular; it’s a pretty charcoal and is silky to the touch with a delicate splash of pink flowers on one side. It wraps around and is astonishingly easy to pull, and Kurt declares that called for bombastic lingerie. She’s blushing the entire
time they are in the store picking them out; Kurt finally decides a silky pair of boy shorts and bra, both in a flattering salmon pink. The shoes are only best described as fuck-me variety, they’re peep-toe, smoky grey and the heel looked like it could puncture flesh at the right angle. Kurt, as the professor of Formal Attire 101, is not to be outdone. The grey jacket looks imported from nineteen-fifty. The hair too. And the carnation in the lapel was almost too dapper.
Mercedes’ mother actually gasps- maybe because he has one bouquet for her as well as Mercedes’ corsage. Or it could be that he looks so damn handsome.
Her dad is there as well, shaking Kurt’s hand like he has just met him. The obligatory pictures are taken and then they hear the honking outside.
“That’ll be the limo!” Mercedes told her parents, “Bye!”
“Take care of our girl, Kurt!” said her dad.
“Sure thing, Mr Jones!” said Kurt, taking Mercedes’ hand and leading her to the limousine, where the other Glee clubbers were already crammed.
“WHOA!” said several voices from inside the limo.
“Those shoes are killer,” Santana, who looked like a Spanish mamacita in red, told her.
“You look hot, mama,” said Puck.
“Your dress is really pretty,” Rachel, who was decked in deep purple, complimented.
“Can I make out with you, Mercedes?” Brittany asked. She was perched on Puck’s lap in a tiny blue dress.
“Now Britt, she’s only been my date for ten minutes,” Kurt scooted in beside Mercedes.
“Where are the others?” Mercedes asked. Only she, Kurt, Santana, Puck, Rachel and Brittany [Comment1] were in the limo.
“They’ll meet us there. Not everybody could hold in one limo,” Santana said.
“So we got two!” Brittany grinned.
“This is my first time in a limo,” Mercedes confessed, “Is there champagne?”
“There’s wine coolers,” Rachel, who was near the little fridge, told her, “And cans of Sprite. Anyone thirsty?”
“Sprite please!” everyone said.
When the cans were passed around, Brittany gently feeding Puck his, Kurt asked Mercedes who she voted for for prom queen.
“Quinn,” she told him, “Not that I’m biased.”
“Well, I voted for you,” Kurt grinned. Mercedes rolled her eyes.
“Boo you know I’m nowhere near likely to win.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Kurt shook his head, “Just know there was one vote in that ballot for you.”
Mercedes smiled wide.
“How do you know there wasn’t two?” Puck protested
“Or three!” Brittany protested as well. Then she frowned, “Wait. No I think I voted for Barack Obama.”
“So one vote then?” Mercedes whispered to Kurt.
He nodded, “Probably.”
“I’d love to have to have sex in a limo,” said Puck, a smirk on his face, eyes scanning the girls in the limo.
“Brittany, honey,” Rachel said in a warning tone, “you may wanna vacate that lap.”
They meet Quinn, Finn, Artie Matt, Tina and Mike there and everyone does a big shuffle to find their date. Kurt holds Mercedes’ hand and they walk into the McKinley High gym, where the prom theme was Among the Stars. Kurt approved of that. As they all walk in they are all doused with a gallon of glitter. There are silver stars everywhere and the walls are covered in dark cloth which makes inside look like the nighttime sky. Mercedes
grinned at the gigantic moon behind the DJ.
“We sparkle like moody vampires,” said Kurt, and indeed they do. Even Kurt’s hair is shiny. Quinn is twirling in her short white dress and the lights bouncing off her glittered body make her look like a fairy princess. Rachel takes up a pack of stars that are on each table and sticks them on herself.
The finger food is okay, but nothing to write home about, (her mother can make better sandwiches in her sleep) and she is sure that she drinks like a ton of glitter in her punch. Then Kurt grabs her hand when the DJ plays something by Beiber.
“It’s not the Macarena, but close enough,” Kurt explained.
He tried to keep up as she outdanced him to every song, then complained when Finn pulled her away. But pretty soon he was dancing with Brittany and then they all descend in a pile of Glee kids and Mercedes is twirled til she is too dizzy to stand.
“There’s no alcohol in this punch, Kurt!” Mercedes fake complained, her lips pouting. He grinned, “You promised there would be spiked punch!”
“Nothing we can do about that,” said Santana, “They got the librarian policing it. Can’t get around her.”
“But I kept every other promise, didn’t I?” he said.
“‘Cept holding my purse while I hook up with a random dude,” Mercedes giggled, “But I don’t blame you. All the random dudes are taken.”
She pointed to the couples lining the walls, disappearing and reappearing in the folds of the billowing black cloth.
He frowned, “We’ll have to fix that.”
Kurt pulled her through the hallways to the music room where they had their Glee meetings.
“Kurt what are we doing in here?” she was a little giddy and wondering if they did indeed slip something past the librarian and spike the punch. She’s whispering and she doesn’t need to.
He didn’t turn on the lights and anyone passing by (Sylvester is reported to be policing the halls) wouldn’t be able to see them unless they squinted hard. She started giggling, and he shushed her.
‘Now ‘Cedes,” he sounded serious, “don’t be alarmed but I’m gonna kiss you.”
“What? But honey, you’re...”
“And you’re my best friend and I wanna give you the best prom ever. Making out with a guy in a dark deserted classroom should rank up there. Now, stay still.”
The moment their lips touch- sloppily because none of them can see to make a direct hit- they both respond to the kiss. Their hands are all over each other and it’s surreal and sweet and makes her feel tingly. She really loves her best friend for this. He didn’t need to do this at all, but he was going out of his way so she could have a memorable prom.
When he pulled away, she actually whispered, “Whoa.”
“Now,” he’s breathing hard, which makes it that much better, “Let’s go watch Quinn get crowned.”
Quinn didn’t get queen, but she shrugged it off while every Glee member started protesting loudly. Rachel looks physically upset. Brittany looks at the fellow Cheerio on the stage with confusion. Kurt calls it a travesty.
After the last dance, they all walk out into the Lima night and someone has the idea to go on the town. She pulled Kurt along the sidewalk with the rest of Glee around her chattering and laughing. Her feet hurt but she doesn’t say a word.
They end up at a strip mall, and it is evidence as to how lame they are when they see some of the stores are still open. Tina, Mike, Quinn, Matt and Rachel settle in the donut shop; Puck, Finn and Artie take off for the game arcade, Santana and Brittany go for the convenience store and Mercedes and Kurt head towards the costume store. They are looking through superhero costumes and giant frogs and witch masks when Kurt spots the tiaras.
“Jackpot!” he claps.
When they head back to the others, they’re wearing two. Each girl gets one; Tina’s has obsidian black gems and match her dress; Santana’s has to be adjusted behind her flowery headband; Brittany’s makes her shine even more than the glitter; they find one with a big star for Rachel; and of course they have to give Quinn the one that looks like Kate Middleton’s. They have a mini ceremony in the middle of the donut shop to crown them all and they dance to the music coming out of the speakers.
When she gets dropped home in the limo, Kurt walks her to the door, among the calls from the limo (it’s totally packed now because everybody is crammed in), and Kurt kissed her cheek. He’s so adorable and the tiara clashes with the 50's style jacket, and she kisses him back.
At school the next week, everyone still has a stray glitter speck here and there. The prom queen wears her crown- and so do all the Glee girls and Kurt. They laugh when they see her seething at them.
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