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I have never really put so much thought into marriage before. I guess it's my nesting bs coming into play. I have been with John for nearing a year. April fools day is our anniversary. I've started paying attention to wedding crap in movies and on tv. Taking note of the dresses and seeing the bouquets, brides maid dresses, rings... I feel very odd. I have been of the mindset for a long time that I just wanted to do the smart, economically sound thing and get hitched at city hall. Have a reception/impromptu party with my close friends and family.
It all keeps coming up with everyone around me procreating and getting married. I don't feel like life is passing me by, I just feel like everything is moving too fast. Grama also brought up, when I was in Tuscon seeing her, that she'd help me start saving for a wedding because she's under the impression that it isn't fair to get married at city hall. She wants to see me walk down the aisle. I don't know. It all makes my brain hurt. I do still have marriage jitters. Being with that person forever. Forever is a long time. To think I almost made that mistake once.
I also keep having dreams I'm pregnant, though I'm clearly not. I am insane about taking my birth control and we try to be overly cautious.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever going to feel ready-ready. Or grown up. John and I have discussed it many times and he never feels his age. He had to ask me how old he was turning this year. He said he feels like he's in his early 20's still.
It all keeps coming up with everyone around me procreating and getting married. I don't feel like life is passing me by, I just feel like everything is moving too fast. Grama also brought up, when I was in Tuscon seeing her, that she'd help me start saving for a wedding because she's under the impression that it isn't fair to get married at city hall. She wants to see me walk down the aisle. I don't know. It all makes my brain hurt. I do still have marriage jitters. Being with that person forever. Forever is a long time. To think I almost made that mistake once.
I also keep having dreams I'm pregnant, though I'm clearly not. I am insane about taking my birth control and we try to be overly cautious.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever going to feel ready-ready. Or grown up. John and I have discussed it many times and he never feels his age. He had to ask me how old he was turning this year. He said he feels like he's in his early 20's still.