three words.
I suppose I owe Livejournal a month's worth of update. As per usual, this will be rather abreviated. I have been having a hard time remember things and dates lately in my old age, and it is becoming apparent to me that I should update more often because I find myself looking at past entries to figure out timing of events in my life. So. I am going to try to update much more often, even if it is not meaningful or important.
I guess I will start where I left off. All of my fish died. I think. The mom fish died. The female platy died. Most of the babies died. I left the male guppy and some babies when I came home for break, but only Tyler knows if they are alive, and I am afraid to ask. I am a fish killer. And this saddens me.
Somehow, school ended, and I survived. With Bs in all of my major classes and As in Gay Literature and Weight Lifting. Go figure. 3.3 I believe. I guess I will take that. I spent all of exam week baking and waiting to spend time with my boyfriend. I kid you not. I went to Costco and bought ridiculous amounts of supplies and made batch after batch of Christmas goodies. A solid 6 batches of ginger snaps that are TO DIE FOR. Mint M&M cookies. Chocolate oatmeal no-bake cookies. Mexican wedding cookies. Cut-out sugar cookies (and decorated those). Chocolate-dipped cake balls. Peanut butter cookies. Candied pecans. Holy crap how am I not fat? So I baked and baked and delivered goodies to friends and baked to get people to come over and eat and cuddle and took cookies to holiday parties, and all was well. They were well received, and I was rather proud.
On my last day of classes, I was suprised by Kate after class who brought me some pretty ravishing boxers featuring penguins drinking martinis. I was poorly mistaked thinking this was the end of Christmas surprises. I returned to my home to find two presents under my tree. An adorable penguin ornament that is the same height as my tiny tree and an AMAZING small black Ben Sherman hoodie that I am in love with and wear every day. She then bought me an electric blanket because my room is cold. WHAT. Sometimes I believe that girl loves me more than my mother. I should mention she bought the blanket while at the mall with me and sent me away. I thought nothing of it. Crafty sneak. She then wrapped it in my room and borrowed my wrapping paper to do so. And somehow I was still shocked when another present appeared in my room. I am easy to surprise. Anyway, I pretty much never want to get out of that bed, and I try keep Tyler in it as often as possible.
OK. So I stayed in Chapel Hill for a solid week after exams were over before I could not get away with it anymore. Being home has been ... ok. I have had a few good nights out with friends and what-not, but it is the same old mess with my parents stressing me out and my mother being a heinous bitch and us visiting my grandma in the retirement home and gutting my grandpa's house and getting sad about that. I haven't slept well, and it has not been much of a vacation. I am really getting down to my last ounce of patience with my mother about her complete denial of me being gay. This time, I am not gay, and I am trying to be someone I am not. She knows this because she sees me on a deeper, spiritual level. And I care more about my gayness than I care about my family. She would rather me not be gay and be alone and miserable my whole life but keep my family happy. WHAT. So. I have done my duty here. I did the dinner parties. I did Christmas. I was a good son. And grandson. And nephew. And cousin. I was exactly who everyone wanted me to be, and I had a great family Christmas, and now it is over and done with.
I am leaving Sunday to go to Greensboro for New Years at Emily's house, and I am then retreating to Chapel Hill for a solid week before anyone will move back into dorms and 10 days before classes start. This will be my vacation. I will sleep and detox. I will get strong and healthy. I will also use this time to make a couple posters for groups on campus that I owe and to put together my portfolio and begin internship applications. I feel like a week should be enough. I cannot wait to be back. Charlotte is draining me. Oh so soon. And I will be back under my heated sheets with my boo.
I guess I will start where I left off. All of my fish died. I think. The mom fish died. The female platy died. Most of the babies died. I left the male guppy and some babies when I came home for break, but only Tyler knows if they are alive, and I am afraid to ask. I am a fish killer. And this saddens me.
Somehow, school ended, and I survived. With Bs in all of my major classes and As in Gay Literature and Weight Lifting. Go figure. 3.3 I believe. I guess I will take that. I spent all of exam week baking and waiting to spend time with my boyfriend. I kid you not. I went to Costco and bought ridiculous amounts of supplies and made batch after batch of Christmas goodies. A solid 6 batches of ginger snaps that are TO DIE FOR. Mint M&M cookies. Chocolate oatmeal no-bake cookies. Mexican wedding cookies. Cut-out sugar cookies (and decorated those). Chocolate-dipped cake balls. Peanut butter cookies. Candied pecans. Holy crap how am I not fat? So I baked and baked and delivered goodies to friends and baked to get people to come over and eat and cuddle and took cookies to holiday parties, and all was well. They were well received, and I was rather proud.
On my last day of classes, I was suprised by Kate after class who brought me some pretty ravishing boxers featuring penguins drinking martinis. I was poorly mistaked thinking this was the end of Christmas surprises. I returned to my home to find two presents under my tree. An adorable penguin ornament that is the same height as my tiny tree and an AMAZING small black Ben Sherman hoodie that I am in love with and wear every day. She then bought me an electric blanket because my room is cold. WHAT. Sometimes I believe that girl loves me more than my mother. I should mention she bought the blanket while at the mall with me and sent me away. I thought nothing of it. Crafty sneak. She then wrapped it in my room and borrowed my wrapping paper to do so. And somehow I was still shocked when another present appeared in my room. I am easy to surprise. Anyway, I pretty much never want to get out of that bed, and I try keep Tyler in it as often as possible.
OK. So I stayed in Chapel Hill for a solid week after exams were over before I could not get away with it anymore. Being home has been ... ok. I have had a few good nights out with friends and what-not, but it is the same old mess with my parents stressing me out and my mother being a heinous bitch and us visiting my grandma in the retirement home and gutting my grandpa's house and getting sad about that. I haven't slept well, and it has not been much of a vacation. I am really getting down to my last ounce of patience with my mother about her complete denial of me being gay. This time, I am not gay, and I am trying to be someone I am not. She knows this because she sees me on a deeper, spiritual level. And I care more about my gayness than I care about my family. She would rather me not be gay and be alone and miserable my whole life but keep my family happy. WHAT. So. I have done my duty here. I did the dinner parties. I did Christmas. I was a good son. And grandson. And nephew. And cousin. I was exactly who everyone wanted me to be, and I had a great family Christmas, and now it is over and done with.
I am leaving Sunday to go to Greensboro for New Years at Emily's house, and I am then retreating to Chapel Hill for a solid week before anyone will move back into dorms and 10 days before classes start. This will be my vacation. I will sleep and detox. I will get strong and healthy. I will also use this time to make a couple posters for groups on campus that I owe and to put together my portfolio and begin internship applications. I feel like a week should be enough. I cannot wait to be back. Charlotte is draining me. Oh so soon. And I will be back under my heated sheets with my boo.