pressure
so this weekend was busy. stayed at weavers all weekend. chandler is out of town. on st pattys day we went to a keg party. bunch of kids that go to gpc but used to go to chamblee. i actually knew a few ppl. it was fun. free beer. a lot of boys. haha. it was a odd mix of ppl but i liked it. everyone was so nice and social so thats good. me and weaver went back to her house and stayed up all night. we were so messed up! haha! the next day we didnt wake up till 3 and then got ready to go out. we went to quinns and drank and had fun. we all were so tierd but it was still fun. we went back to weavers and slept till 4. haha. it was crazy. things have been good. just have so much pressure on me. pressure caused by me adn others. i hate it. i think sometimes i might be falling apart but then i pull myself back up. i just am having a hard time with certain ppl. and its fusterating to have yyour feelings dismissed every day every second. so be be-littled all the time. its so hard. and ppl wonder why i drink so much now. i used to have pretty good self eestem not i find myself drinking just to numb the fact that i hate myself. and really only one thing has chanegd from when i had good self eestem to now. and its so messed up. i am not going to put up with it anymore. an di am going to bitch and fight from now on. cause b4 i just sit there and take is cause i dont wanna cause an agrument. i am just sick of being the one that gets blamed for everything. i am sick of being shut up. i am sick of being told that i suck. i am sick of feeling like this. i am just sick and tired of being sick n tired. haha cross candion ragweed lyrics. anywya i know i am going to be alright. i have been thru a lot worse. i just need to re focus and re organize my life. so yea.