A feeling so vivid....
My mind seems to be in a perpetual whirlwind of emotion today. I'm on the cusp of anxiety, depression, and tears. It is that time of year for all of these types of emotions especially when you have lost so much. I am not the only one feeling this way. My Facebook wall is filled with people having the same emotions. As a people we need to be a little more gentler at this time year. Things are so much more fragile than any other time of the year.
Even as I'm writing this, my emotions and feelings are going into 1000 different directions and it's hard to reign them back in. So maybe I'll keep this one pretty short.
Last week I had a parts issue that no one could seem to answer for me. I spied Crush across the building and walked over hoping he'd know. I handed him the part and he looked at it thoughtfully turning it around and over. He could not answer my question. I was a little exasperated at this point because it was something the floor needed immediately. My eyes didn't rise to meet his at all during this time. Instead I focused on his hands as he examined the part. Everyone has interesting hands as they tell a story. His were no different. I try to explain the specifications of said part but he still didn't have an answer. I held out my hand for him to drop it back in mine. I didn't grab it. I waited. He turned the part over one more time. My mind spun into overdrive. I started to imagine and feel his fingers on me, slowly, gently, tracing a line down my face. I heard myself as I had given out a small gasp, the part fell back in my hand, as I grasped it. The imagining of that touch felt so very real to me. I quickly turned and walked the longer way back to my area. Tears had sprung into my eyes and I felt them hot and quick running down my cheeks.
Even as I'm writing this, my emotions and feelings are going into 1000 different directions and it's hard to reign them back in. So maybe I'll keep this one pretty short.
Last week I had a parts issue that no one could seem to answer for me. I spied Crush across the building and walked over hoping he'd know. I handed him the part and he looked at it thoughtfully turning it around and over. He could not answer my question. I was a little exasperated at this point because it was something the floor needed immediately. My eyes didn't rise to meet his at all during this time. Instead I focused on his hands as he examined the part. Everyone has interesting hands as they tell a story. His were no different. I try to explain the specifications of said part but he still didn't have an answer. I held out my hand for him to drop it back in mine. I didn't grab it. I waited. He turned the part over one more time. My mind spun into overdrive. I started to imagine and feel his fingers on me, slowly, gently, tracing a line down my face. I heard myself as I had given out a small gasp, the part fell back in my hand, as I grasped it. The imagining of that touch felt so very real to me. I quickly turned and walked the longer way back to my area. Tears had sprung into my eyes and I felt them hot and quick running down my cheeks.