Conversions again

[amawahibiki]

An e-mail I got today:

Dear Daniel
... One last question: if I have a Japanese friend who is interested in seeing what Rosh Hashanah is like, do you think he'll [the Chabad Rabbi] be OK with having her come to services? ... she's actually Christian,　and would like to learn more about Judaism. What do you think?...

My response:

Oh dear... I've

Comments

[rosegold_ruby]

I've been invited to shul before, but i think that's mostly because I've an exceedingly high interest in judaism, and would never think of going to a rosh hashanah or other major holiday service unless the rabbi came up to me and said '*you* should be there'. And how likely do you think that would happen? not very. lol

[amawahibiki]

Well, but at least in your case I'm pretty sure you'd never undergo a fake conversion. It's different from the silly Japanese girls who want to make their boyfriends happy, without understanding or caring about the bigger picture.

[rosegold_ruby]

I would never convert to any religion without actually wnting to be of that religion. If for whatever reason I started dating someone of a dfferent religion than I and they were to start teaching me all about their religion and it were very important to them, I would at least give it a try (go to their place of worship to see what it was like, listen to their person of god as to what the religion was about, etc) and see if it was for me. But if I didn't fully believe in it, or hated it or whatever, not only would I not convert, but I would break up with the person because I'm not converting to something I don't believe in, and I certainly am *NOT* raising children in a two religion household, something I find very stupid and to be very confusing.

[amawahibiki]

I think "converting" for a boyfriend etc. (the quotes being because in pripciple a Jewish court will not accept such conversions) is one of the worse blunders one could make in life. First, when there's an argument, or if one eventually breaks up, what happens to that conversion? Also, it causes arguments in the relationship, because she game *everything* for him and he didn't reciprocate

[rosegold_ruby]

you have a child, you are that child's parent. Accidents happen sometimes, and if you find yourself in a situtation where you/your girlfriend is pregnant, and you don't want the child, then you give it up for adoption, or you leave right then. You don't marry a person, have children with them, and when the marriage ends, *then* disown them.
To me, disowning them years later is far far worse than walking out on the mother. Especially when a strong religion is involved.
All this makes me want to go over to japan and rescue all the poor messed up child from all of this :(

[amawahibiki]

Where this situation happened a lot is American soldiers stationed in Asia after WW2 and the Vietnam war. There were many children of American GI's and Asian women who were disowned by the fathers when they were re-stationed. They are known as "children of the dust" in the Vietnam setting. There are actually books about this kind of thing, and it's more common than one might think- and the situation here although not military is in many ways similar I think. I don't really think there's any excuse- the Western men simply don't respect the Asian women and their children. One doesn't disown children. Not if one is re-stationed, not if one decides to divorce the mother, not ever.