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Sep 29, 2005 12:22

so i read holly's last entry, and realized that part of the reason i never write anymore is because nobody even reads my shit anymore, which renders it rather pointless to reach out to nothing ( Read more... )

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There are more about who know... xx_adverb_xx October 9 2005, 04:15:15 UTC
I know our friendship didn't last long, and more so, that was... four years ago I believe. But I know a lot of what you are going through. Granted, I can't say all for I'm not married and screwed up the last relationship I was in, but I do have some insight on this.

On my way to boot, I got along well enough with the others going from the same MEPS, just to have them be put in different divisions. Boot itself, the friends I had there were gone elsewhere once we got out of it. Interesting enough, in training I got the best friends I've ever had at Pensacola. Sucked leaving them behind, sucks even more knowing I may never see either of them again. After that point, I realised I'll be moving to much myself to really make friends. After loosing those two I had, all I go for is the temp friends. Nothing close to satisfying. Simply enough to keep from total isolation.

Joining for money for college was my reason as well. Mayhaps a part of me also thought I may actually fit in in the military. At first it almost seemed like I would, but people are the same here as the real world.

Sorry for doing an entry on your comment portion. Do know though, don't stop posting. Even if it seems no one is reading, it is still good to get things writeen down. May not help as much as actual feed back, actual friendship, but it still helps a bit. Besides, you never know when someone may find their way onto your board and give a hand.

First of next month: 1 year down, 4 to go.

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Re: There are more about who know... amaurea October 12 2005, 01:22:11 UTC
ah. i, myself have 2 years left as of january, just hit e4 in august.. woopee.. they're trying to get me to e5 before the end of next year, when we go to iraq.. ick.. and just for that i might have to re-enlist for a few years, that and i might be expanding my family by then..

anyways, i was quite surprised to see that you posted, although it was rather refreshing. someone i once knew, knows how fucked the world is and also how fucked the world is through military eyes as well. i know how the world sees us, most because they don't know much, others because of opposition or just plain apathy. they are entitled to that, but if we say they really don't understand they will assume we are simply brain-washed tools.

and, thats because alot of the people in, unfortunately are. or rather, they were that shallow to begin with. i'm simply referring to derrogatory terms such as 'grunt' etc. i don't ask people for pity, but maybe once to see things through my eyes, and idiots like that make it nearly impossible. those that don't understand that when someone fucks up and makes a bad name for the military, it stays, and it takes more than a thousand noble deeds to erase that one that is never really forgotten. i don't know, i saw alot of this in korea, but that is a very broad subject.

perfect examples of moral decay, and how marriage, promises, family, all those things aren't sacred anymore, save but to a small percentage of people anymore.

i'm as cynical as the next person, and i didn't believe in the love thing for a long time- but i still believed in other things. like keeping promises. it just simply disgusts me to see all these whimsical assholes throwing all they have away for money, or a piece of ass, or just out of convenience. so -that- part is that simple. people that are away from their loved ones for a long time get bored of trying. so they tell me i'll fail. but their situation isn't mine.

anyways enough of that. just alot of the shit that's been bothering me lately. alot of why i find it almost impossible to make any lasting friends, let alone temporary ones. i just don't trust people, and alot of the people i've met are shitbags.

so while it is much easier to make a few temporary friends, it is quite a bit less fulfilling, on that i'll agree. but just about every friend i've had that i could rely on i either never saw again or they just quit on me out of convenience. you don't see anybody for a long time, you just lose touch. it's easier to be apathetic. but i won't blame them. i'm already miserable enough being away from my husband. i don't want to be miserable missing more people. i despise missing people, but on the other hand, i miss simply having someone to talk to that i could trust. oh well. shit happens.

i've only been in ft hood for a month and a half and i already hate it. i could probably count on one hand the people i'd trust enough to hang out with, and maybe just one of them is a person i could lean on when i needed it and vice versa.

sorry that was so long. it's just this simple: i hate my job but i don't know what i'd do without it right now. once i have kids i'm screwed.

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