Thought
I've been analyzing my thoughts a lot lately and I've realized that I don't really know many things that I take for granted. For example, my own emotions. why do I feel happy or sad about certain things? what really defines happiness? Some might argue that it is doing what you want to do, realizing your dreams and desires. Hence feeling closer to attaining such goal gives a feeling of happiness. The problem is, what happens when you reach that goal? would you be ultimately happy and stay in such a state or would you find another goal to pursue? the former is unlikely. hence, wouldn't that mean that such happiness is tied to an endless pursuit? what happens when you get old and are in your bed dying? would you feel happy or disappointed for being unable to pursue your dreams further? is that real happiness or ultimately an addiction for momentary satisfaction? I don't think it is real happiness but i can't claim to know what real happiness is. That's pretty much the conclusion that I come up with when I analyze myself deeply, I really don't know anything. Yet, that doesn't mean that I have changed, I'm still addicted to the pleasures I enjoy, which might be something that is holding me down from the truth. I'm still biased, even to think that is a biased view of mine. So, I must destroy everything that I claim to be, I must get over the pleasures that I enjoy. why? because I don't know anything, I didn't decide for myself to enjoy such things so by doing so I'm in a conflicting state holding me unconscious. I could say right now, "I choose to enjoy these things I enjoy" but would that be my free unbiased will?