(no subject)
today I feel like I'm dissapearing. I'm shifting, maybe adapting to some change that I'm not aware of. I'm crying, I feel like I've failed. but what part of me failed? what part of me lost? My connection to the world is dissapearing, that's what it is. I haven't failed, quite the opposite, I'm getting closer to be the person I want. But on the process I'm losing interest in what the world has to offer. I'm losing my desire, so I feel empty. Do I really need such a thing to move forward? Is my only motivation nothing more than earthly desire? Is not, but the earthly Eric has to die, so this feeling is natural, I guess. This is a test, I've been climbing up to this spot which is barely the beginning of the cliff. I suddenly became really heavy and I can barely hold on. yes, this is a test, and I understand I have to drop that dead weight to continue my way up. This is how I feel right now. I feel i'm on the right track, I'll follow my intuition.