Big Ooph, y’all.
Wow, what a difference a decade and a half makes.
Reflecting on these old entries has be rife with embrassement at what it was to be me at 15.
So self-obsessed, so afraid of judgement, so desperately seeking attention and acceptance that I didn’t get at home, I obsessed over those who I wanted attention from. The signs were there: Tony wasn’t interested in courting me, he was interested in playing with my attention. He was drunk or high most of the time, no wonder his behavior didn’t make any sense.
For months I desperately clung to that string of attention, eschewing the evidence of my own eyes that this was not a person I was going to have any connection with. This really puts into a different context his later attention and attempts to “hang out” with me so often in later years, after I’d come to understand just how dysfunctional and brain dead he was. Y I K E S.
Why the hell did I write all of that suicidal stuff on a public forum? OOOPH!
I was in so much pain. All. The. Time.
Stephanie, stop letting people treat you like shit! You know when the s are fucky! That last post about Dan? He was a rapist! A disgusting red-piller , vile person who manipulated the fuck out if you. He had a whole book about how to do it that you didn’t even know about.
Stop letting people treat you like shot when you know that’s what’s up.
Reflecting on these old entries has be rife with embrassement at what it was to be me at 15.
So self-obsessed, so afraid of judgement, so desperately seeking attention and acceptance that I didn’t get at home, I obsessed over those who I wanted attention from. The signs were there: Tony wasn’t interested in courting me, he was interested in playing with my attention. He was drunk or high most of the time, no wonder his behavior didn’t make any sense.
For months I desperately clung to that string of attention, eschewing the evidence of my own eyes that this was not a person I was going to have any connection with. This really puts into a different context his later attention and attempts to “hang out” with me so often in later years, after I’d come to understand just how dysfunctional and brain dead he was. Y I K E S.
Why the hell did I write all of that suicidal stuff on a public forum? OOOPH!
I was in so much pain. All. The. Time.
Stephanie, stop letting people treat you like shit! You know when the s are fucky! That last post about Dan? He was a rapist! A disgusting red-piller , vile person who manipulated the fuck out if you. He had a whole book about how to do it that you didn’t even know about.
Stop letting people treat you like shot when you know that’s what’s up.