A bunch of stuff...
First off I want to thank God for all that He's done for me. He's given me such a great family... such a good home. All those people in Africa and other poor countries have nothing... and we have everything that they don't have and we STILL complain. So, I want to thank God for all the things He's given us. :) Thank-you God for everything you've given me and my family...
I was playing piano tonight... and was talking to God while playing the piano... I told him... He was the only one at home listening to me... listening to the suposed talent He gave me. I told Him I don't know what the talent was for... I didn't use His gift yet... and it's nothing I'd wanna do like... for a career or anything like other people do. It's not my passion. But I've been told it's a gift from God... that I play the piano nicely... *shrugs* I'll see why He gave me the gift soon. Or maybe I don't think it's a gift! What if it isn't... I still haven't found the gift He has given me. I'll be patient to wait and see.
Last night was a terrible night. I felt devastated. My dad and I took Christina to the train station to drop her off and stuff so she could take the all night train to waterloo, Indiana. *sighs* We had fun talking and goofing off with my dad till the train got there. We saw where she had to go to... and Christina was like... well... I'll say bye now. So she gave me a quick hug.. she didn't look sad or anything. I was so sad. I gave her another hug and smiled at her... told her to call me in the middle of the night if she had to (I didn't get any calls, btw... lol... yup, that's Christina). *sighs* But anyways... so five minutes later after that hug she got on the train and my dad was helping her with all her luggage. *rolls eyes* she brought tons of stuff... lol... that's Tina for ya! ;)
I thought she would come out of the train quickly and give me one last hug goodbye... but she didn't. I went to dad and we followed her looking through the train windows to get her attention and see where she would be sitting. Turns out she had to sit with this older man. He helped her with her luggage some... or at least told her where to put it. She sat down and was just looking around. I tried SO DESPERATELY to wave at her hoping she'd see me. I got frustrated... cuz she wasn't looking our way. Then... I saw her... look at the window I was waving out at... and it seemed like she was actually looking at me... and I was waving so hard... and was smiling thinking she saw me and would wave back. But she had a dull face expression and just turned away. I felt like I was ghost... she couldn't see me... or hear me. I felt so... lonely. My dad told me that we should go... we did... we walked away... he put his arm around my shoulder and held me as I cried. I couldn't stop crying. I felt like I lost part of me... I lost the other side of me. I needed my twin again. I needed to see her one last time... to hold her and hug her again. To see her roll her eyes or laugh really hard cuz of something silly she did. My dad was holding me close to him the whole way down to the car... he then let go of me and he pointed to the train.
"look! there it goes!" I saw it leaving... and it hit me. Christina is going away... .. she's moving away.
I kept crying as I kept thinking to myself... "I want Tina back!"
We got in the car then... and after my dad pulled out... he says
"The train is gone!" ....... My only thought.
"Christina is gone..."
*cries*... yeah... I cried the whole way back home... and while I was on the phone with Jesse... he tried to comfort me as much as he could. *sighs*
My mom has been a great encouragement to me though. I feel like.. .tghe way we are going now our relationship is going to be better. She's awesome, you know. :)
Last night... I had the phone in my hands... (Jesse was still on it) and my face was red from crying. My mom said " HEY! How are you doing?"
I told her that I was crying the whole way ... and she said she knew cuz dad told her... and she asked about being alone in the room... and I said it was lonely... and different... but I lifted my phone up and said "But I have company!" and she started laughing really hard. :) hehe. Then I went up to her... put my arms around her and said "You'll be my new best friend." And she smiled at me... turned her head and said "aaww..." and gave me a kiss on the cheek. :D She's awesome... we've been hanging out some. Tomorrow we are hoping to hang out.
But... I got to clean my room today. I saw my pajamas Tina always wore and like... felt so sad... I actually felt the frown on my face... sad... I hope she knows just how sad I feel without her. Sure, we do get in lots of arguments or whatever... but Tina... Tina's just awesome. I love you, Tina! <3 I keep listening to our song... it helps a lot. :) Good memories.
I'm starting classes at Boces this Monday. I'm excited.
I am taking my road test again this Friday. I'm very nervous. Pray for me.
I am also taking antibitiocs... and after those I have to go see a surgeon for a so called cyst I have right below and kinda on my left part of my chest. So pray for me, please... :(
I'm gonna keep trusting God... He's absolutely amazing. :D
~~Give the Heavens above more then just a passing glance. And when you get the choice to set it out or dance... I hope you dance... I hope you dance. I hope you dance... I hope you dance.
I hope you styill feel small when you standf beside the coean. Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens... promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance... and when you get the choice to set it out or dance...
DANCE... I hope you dance.~~
I was playing piano tonight... and was talking to God while playing the piano... I told him... He was the only one at home listening to me... listening to the suposed talent He gave me. I told Him I don't know what the talent was for... I didn't use His gift yet... and it's nothing I'd wanna do like... for a career or anything like other people do. It's not my passion. But I've been told it's a gift from God... that I play the piano nicely... *shrugs* I'll see why He gave me the gift soon. Or maybe I don't think it's a gift! What if it isn't... I still haven't found the gift He has given me. I'll be patient to wait and see.
Last night was a terrible night. I felt devastated. My dad and I took Christina to the train station to drop her off and stuff so she could take the all night train to waterloo, Indiana. *sighs* We had fun talking and goofing off with my dad till the train got there. We saw where she had to go to... and Christina was like... well... I'll say bye now. So she gave me a quick hug.. she didn't look sad or anything. I was so sad. I gave her another hug and smiled at her... told her to call me in the middle of the night if she had to (I didn't get any calls, btw... lol... yup, that's Christina). *sighs* But anyways... so five minutes later after that hug she got on the train and my dad was helping her with all her luggage. *rolls eyes* she brought tons of stuff... lol... that's Tina for ya! ;)
I thought she would come out of the train quickly and give me one last hug goodbye... but she didn't. I went to dad and we followed her looking through the train windows to get her attention and see where she would be sitting. Turns out she had to sit with this older man. He helped her with her luggage some... or at least told her where to put it. She sat down and was just looking around. I tried SO DESPERATELY to wave at her hoping she'd see me. I got frustrated... cuz she wasn't looking our way. Then... I saw her... look at the window I was waving out at... and it seemed like she was actually looking at me... and I was waving so hard... and was smiling thinking she saw me and would wave back. But she had a dull face expression and just turned away. I felt like I was ghost... she couldn't see me... or hear me. I felt so... lonely. My dad told me that we should go... we did... we walked away... he put his arm around my shoulder and held me as I cried. I couldn't stop crying. I felt like I lost part of me... I lost the other side of me. I needed my twin again. I needed to see her one last time... to hold her and hug her again. To see her roll her eyes or laugh really hard cuz of something silly she did. My dad was holding me close to him the whole way down to the car... he then let go of me and he pointed to the train.
"look! there it goes!" I saw it leaving... and it hit me. Christina is going away... .. she's moving away.
I kept crying as I kept thinking to myself... "I want Tina back!"
We got in the car then... and after my dad pulled out... he says
"The train is gone!" ....... My only thought.
"Christina is gone..."
*cries*... yeah... I cried the whole way back home... and while I was on the phone with Jesse... he tried to comfort me as much as he could. *sighs*
My mom has been a great encouragement to me though. I feel like.. .tghe way we are going now our relationship is going to be better. She's awesome, you know. :)
Last night... I had the phone in my hands... (Jesse was still on it) and my face was red from crying. My mom said " HEY! How are you doing?"
I told her that I was crying the whole way ... and she said she knew cuz dad told her... and she asked about being alone in the room... and I said it was lonely... and different... but I lifted my phone up and said "But I have company!" and she started laughing really hard. :) hehe. Then I went up to her... put my arms around her and said "You'll be my new best friend." And she smiled at me... turned her head and said "aaww..." and gave me a kiss on the cheek. :D She's awesome... we've been hanging out some. Tomorrow we are hoping to hang out.
But... I got to clean my room today. I saw my pajamas Tina always wore and like... felt so sad... I actually felt the frown on my face... sad... I hope she knows just how sad I feel without her. Sure, we do get in lots of arguments or whatever... but Tina... Tina's just awesome. I love you, Tina! <3 I keep listening to our song... it helps a lot. :) Good memories.
I'm starting classes at Boces this Monday. I'm excited.
I am taking my road test again this Friday. I'm very nervous. Pray for me.
I am also taking antibitiocs... and after those I have to go see a surgeon for a so called cyst I have right below and kinda on my left part of my chest. So pray for me, please... :(
I'm gonna keep trusting God... He's absolutely amazing. :D
~~Give the Heavens above more then just a passing glance. And when you get the choice to set it out or dance... I hope you dance... I hope you dance. I hope you dance... I hope you dance.
I hope you styill feel small when you standf beside the coean. Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens... promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance... and when you get the choice to set it out or dance...
DANCE... I hope you dance.~~