053 The X Factor or Take That Factor?
Can I just say, thank you The X Factor for endless Take That references. It's like every week there's more. This Saturday's Manchester auditions? It was a given.
" Manchester. Na na na na. Manchester. Na na na na. "
Still, to hear about the Progress tour and see bits from the show, I honestly wasn't expecting that. It's as if Gary, the lovely lad that he is, personally made sure there's a special clause in his contract saying. 'yep, 5-minute tribute to my band per episode'.
So yesterday, we had Kelly Rowland on her knees, while Louis was kindly explaining:
" And Kelly Rowland, it was her first time to see Take That. I don't think she understood how popular they are. "
Few people outside the UK do. Even fewer have got the least idea of how MASSIVE their shows are.
KELLY: - I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!
GAZ: - Come on, off you come. Come on. Get up, please.
I'm loving Gary & Kelly's relationship on The X Factor. He's flirting with her, have you noticed? Called her 'baby' just last night!
" Come on baby, here we go. "
I squint and giggle like a little girl an awful lot watching this show. Oh, Gary. If I didn't know any better, I would say I'm slowly falling in love with you. But that can't be possible (as my tortured heart belongs to Mark), can it?
Perhaps it's because Gary Barlow has the sex factor.
Oh yes, he does.
" He's just basically the most perfect man alive isn't he? "
Yes, yes, yes!
" You respect his opinion, he's firm but fair, kind but never patronising, witty, humble, really well dressed, a gentleman and a scholar. "
A huge yes from me!
" You look into his eyes and you can see that he has lived, and learnt, and is definitely a really good kisser. "
Is that what the giggling is all about?
" He doesn't dress up his verdicts with flowery preamble and hyperbole, he gives it to people straight. He's the stylish, succinct Simon Cowell you want to Do It with. "
Now you're talking!
I still have trouble processing it. I guess for the longest time when looking at Mr Gary Barlow I saw the slightly awkward, slightly stiff, but mostly utterly uninteresting 20-something who couldn't dance, who's matured over the years into a serious, together guy - who were never my type. And yet here I am, flailing over this one. Is it the confidence factor? Because the man now possesses all the confidence in the world. Or is it his complacent smile that drives me nuts?
And when he hears someone he likes, he goes:
❒ A smile.
❒ Some nodding.
❒ Big eyes at Kelly.
❒ A silent laugh.
❒ *whisper* OH MY GOD!
❒ And an occasional fist pump.
Ugh, how can one man be so perfect?
As far as background music for the show goes, we had:
♪ Greatest Day
♩ Relight my fire
♫ Could it be magic
And then they played ♪ The Garden.
New record?
On an ending note, dear God, why am I suddenly only attracted to married men?
*Please, oh please, don't throw Robert in my face now.*
Speaking of Rob, I suddenly remembered another one of my exciting conversations with friends about Take That.
- You call Robbie Williams 'Robert'.
- Yeah...
- Why Robert?
- Because it's his name?
" Manchester. Na na na na. Manchester. Na na na na. "
Still, to hear about the Progress tour and see bits from the show, I honestly wasn't expecting that. It's as if Gary, the lovely lad that he is, personally made sure there's a special clause in his contract saying. 'yep, 5-minute tribute to my band per episode'.
So yesterday, we had Kelly Rowland on her knees, while Louis was kindly explaining:
" And Kelly Rowland, it was her first time to see Take That. I don't think she understood how popular they are. "
Few people outside the UK do. Even fewer have got the least idea of how MASSIVE their shows are.
KELLY: - I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!
GAZ: - Come on, off you come. Come on. Get up, please.
I'm loving Gary & Kelly's relationship on The X Factor. He's flirting with her, have you noticed? Called her 'baby' just last night!
" Come on baby, here we go. "
I squint and giggle like a little girl an awful lot watching this show. Oh, Gary. If I didn't know any better, I would say I'm slowly falling in love with you. But that can't be possible (as my tortured heart belongs to Mark), can it?
Perhaps it's because Gary Barlow has the sex factor.
Oh yes, he does.
" He's just basically the most perfect man alive isn't he? "
Yes, yes, yes!
" You respect his opinion, he's firm but fair, kind but never patronising, witty, humble, really well dressed, a gentleman and a scholar. "
A huge yes from me!
" You look into his eyes and you can see that he has lived, and learnt, and is definitely a really good kisser. "
Is that what the giggling is all about?
" He doesn't dress up his verdicts with flowery preamble and hyperbole, he gives it to people straight. He's the stylish, succinct Simon Cowell you want to Do It with. "
Now you're talking!
I still have trouble processing it. I guess for the longest time when looking at Mr Gary Barlow I saw the slightly awkward, slightly stiff, but mostly utterly uninteresting 20-something who couldn't dance, who's matured over the years into a serious, together guy - who were never my type. And yet here I am, flailing over this one. Is it the confidence factor? Because the man now possesses all the confidence in the world. Or is it his complacent smile that drives me nuts?
And when he hears someone he likes, he goes:
❒ A smile.
❒ Some nodding.
❒ Big eyes at Kelly.
❒ A silent laugh.
❒ *whisper* OH MY GOD!
❒ And an occasional fist pump.
Ugh, how can one man be so perfect?
As far as background music for the show goes, we had:
♪ Greatest Day
♩ Relight my fire
♫ Could it be magic
And then they played ♪ The Garden.
New record?
On an ending note, dear God, why am I suddenly only attracted to married men?
*Please, oh please, don't throw Robert in my face now.*
Speaking of Rob, I suddenly remembered another one of my exciting conversations with friends about Take That.
- You call Robbie Williams 'Robert'.
- Yeah...
- Why Robert?
- Because it's his name?