Wishing to Think Clearly...er
What a nice, relaxing Saturday I had! I awoke at 2:30 in the afternoon and took my time preparing for the day. I only studied for about five minutes before Kenny called with the movie plans for the night. Everyone was at the Nevin's dorm basement for Hook and pizza, so I grabbed my purse and walked over. It was my first time in Nevin's basement aside from once before with my friend Drew when he helped me with a math assignment. While the computer lab is simple enough to locate, the lounge area proved more difficult because the basement's layout feels like a series of doors. Honestly, it's a bit of a maze. Luckily, though, as I passed by the laundry room, I spotted pink hair, which could only belong to Katt. (Well, another girl on campus has pink hair, but I've never seen her.) Katt led me to the correct room, bless her crazy soul, and we soon began to watch Hook with Robin Williams. I hadn't seen it in so long that it felt brand new. I don't know why exactly, but watching movies with my new friends always feels like I'm watching them again for the first time. After Hook, we watched Robin Williams's Broadway stand-up performance, a show I thought I'd practically absorbed. However, I laughed just as hard--if not more than--I did when I first saw it. It was really fun.
Tomorrow I will study for my psychology test on Monday, and I will review my new katakana for the next quiz. I learned them all Friday, and they've stuck pretty well so far. Yesterday, my mom said that she and my aunt should be dropping the Explorer off on Thursday. I don't know if I mentioned that previously or not, but I'm tired at the moment. I like to think of myself as a fairly independent person, and it frustrates me not to have the mobility I want and sometimes need. I like to operate by my own schedule, but because I must request favors of friends, I have to simultaneously juggle my schedule and their schedules. It's not the most difficult thing in the world, and I don't have to do it more than once a week. However, just jumping in a car and driving myself somewhere proves much less complicated, and I miss it. On the positive side, though, bumming rides gives me a chance to spend time with people. I can never complain about that.
Also tomorrow I will fill out my schedule. I've had it worked out in my head for the past few days now, but I also had to let myself grow accustomed to it. Change and decisions involving it irritate me. I don't know if I handle it better as a gradual process or an immediate alteration. Is it better to wade into the cold pool, or is it better to just jump right in? It's the same thing. Coming to college was more of a plunge (though an exhilarating high as well), and I coped well enough. I also like slow development, too, though, one in which you barely notice the growth or decay of something. That makes the change less painful or destabilizing or whatever. Actually, I loathe change because I always feel like the ground beneath my feet gives way, so I've nothing to brace myself. For me a single change can alter everything. At least, it has that impression on me. My mom and I discuss this sometimes, and she always concludes that I need to be more flexible, be more able to bend with the wind so I won't be broken by it, that kind of stuff. I understand what she means, but I don't know how to apply that. I know the definition of "flexible", but in what ways could I be more so? Also, sometimes, I am more flexible by my standards, but others do not notice because by theirs my effort is but a trifle. Maybe I should stop worrying about growing as a person. Worrying about growing doesn't help much, and it might even hinder me. I then worry, though, that if I do not think it, I will not do it. I need to focus on things outside myself, so such frustrating thoughts will not cripple me. That sounds like a more realistic goal. I'll work / not work on that, then.
Tomorrow I will study for my psychology test on Monday, and I will review my new katakana for the next quiz. I learned them all Friday, and they've stuck pretty well so far. Yesterday, my mom said that she and my aunt should be dropping the Explorer off on Thursday. I don't know if I mentioned that previously or not, but I'm tired at the moment. I like to think of myself as a fairly independent person, and it frustrates me not to have the mobility I want and sometimes need. I like to operate by my own schedule, but because I must request favors of friends, I have to simultaneously juggle my schedule and their schedules. It's not the most difficult thing in the world, and I don't have to do it more than once a week. However, just jumping in a car and driving myself somewhere proves much less complicated, and I miss it. On the positive side, though, bumming rides gives me a chance to spend time with people. I can never complain about that.
Also tomorrow I will fill out my schedule. I've had it worked out in my head for the past few days now, but I also had to let myself grow accustomed to it. Change and decisions involving it irritate me. I don't know if I handle it better as a gradual process or an immediate alteration. Is it better to wade into the cold pool, or is it better to just jump right in? It's the same thing. Coming to college was more of a plunge (though an exhilarating high as well), and I coped well enough. I also like slow development, too, though, one in which you barely notice the growth or decay of something. That makes the change less painful or destabilizing or whatever. Actually, I loathe change because I always feel like the ground beneath my feet gives way, so I've nothing to brace myself. For me a single change can alter everything. At least, it has that impression on me. My mom and I discuss this sometimes, and she always concludes that I need to be more flexible, be more able to bend with the wind so I won't be broken by it, that kind of stuff. I understand what she means, but I don't know how to apply that. I know the definition of "flexible", but in what ways could I be more so? Also, sometimes, I am more flexible by my standards, but others do not notice because by theirs my effort is but a trifle. Maybe I should stop worrying about growing as a person. Worrying about growing doesn't help much, and it might even hinder me. I then worry, though, that if I do not think it, I will not do it. I need to focus on things outside myself, so such frustrating thoughts will not cripple me. That sounds like a more realistic goal. I'll work / not work on that, then.