I don't mean on the phone.
Ok, this is a little irrational, so I let's talk it out a bit.
It seems that "wedding season" is once again in full swing, and a bunch of people around me have recently gotten engaged (by that I mean, 2 or 3 friends and misc co-workers).
And I find myself...wondering? Waiting? Casting that old side eye? Towards J.
Thing is, I kinda don't know why.
Many women want to get married because they've dreamed of their wedding for years. I don't want to plan a wedding. We agreed that if we were to get married, it'd be a county courthouse.
Many people in unhappy relationships want to get married because they believe that somehow, legally binding themselves together will make their connection stronger. I am in a very happy relationship, and I feel confident and secure in our commitment to each other. Also, I am under no delusion that a marriage license would fix a commitment problem, were one to exist.
Many people in happy (or unhappy) relationships get married because of an unplanned pregancy, or because they are planning to have a family. J and I are steadfastly childfree, with preliminary talks of, um, permanent birth control measures.
So what's the deal with me? If it's not a matter of wanting to plan/ participate in a fluffy wedding, or have kids, or garner imaginary security, it shouldn't matter to me at all whether we're married or not. Is it that I want to be wearing my grandmother's wedding band? Sure, a little. And it's silly, but there's an element of not wanting to call the 41 year old guy I've been with for 2+ years and plan on spending my life with my "boyfriend."
Honestly, if J said to me "I am committed to you for life, but I'm not down for legal documents," I'd get alright with it. But let's be real; I want to get married. I'm ready. And I think that's the bottom line--I feel ready to take that step, and without know what's holding him up, I feel confused.
It seems that "wedding season" is once again in full swing, and a bunch of people around me have recently gotten engaged (by that I mean, 2 or 3 friends and misc co-workers).
And I find myself...wondering? Waiting? Casting that old side eye? Towards J.
Thing is, I kinda don't know why.
Many women want to get married because they've dreamed of their wedding for years. I don't want to plan a wedding. We agreed that if we were to get married, it'd be a county courthouse.
Many people in unhappy relationships want to get married because they believe that somehow, legally binding themselves together will make their connection stronger. I am in a very happy relationship, and I feel confident and secure in our commitment to each other. Also, I am under no delusion that a marriage license would fix a commitment problem, were one to exist.
Many people in happy (or unhappy) relationships get married because of an unplanned pregancy, or because they are planning to have a family. J and I are steadfastly childfree, with preliminary talks of, um, permanent birth control measures.
So what's the deal with me? If it's not a matter of wanting to plan/ participate in a fluffy wedding, or have kids, or garner imaginary security, it shouldn't matter to me at all whether we're married or not. Is it that I want to be wearing my grandmother's wedding band? Sure, a little. And it's silly, but there's an element of not wanting to call the 41 year old guy I've been with for 2+ years and plan on spending my life with my "boyfriend."
Honestly, if J said to me "I am committed to you for life, but I'm not down for legal documents," I'd get alright with it. But let's be real; I want to get married. I'm ready. And I think that's the bottom line--I feel ready to take that step, and without know what's holding him up, I feel confused.