I can't decide if I want to go visit my family tomorrow. I love them, worry about them constantly, pray for them and everything, regardless of anything I type or feel. ( Read more... )
Go ahead and type it out. Type out your list, and focus on the fact that your family DID this TO you. Not because you earned it. Not because you're worthless. Because THEY got screwed up somewhere along the way. And they passed that on to you. They will probably never change. You can't make them change. You can't will them to change. All you can change is the way you let it affect you. And you're stronger than that you're stronger than them. One day you'll be able to take a good, true look at yourself, and see the beautiful, wonderful, smart, amazing woman I see. And realize that's all YOU. Your parents didn't contribute to that. You did that all on your own. And maybe someday you'll be able to look at that list and realize it's not worth worrying about and agonizing over, and realize you have the rest of your life to live however you want. You'll be able to walk away from that and fill your life with the love of those around you--Matt, your friends, etc. And one day you'll have your own family, and all those experiences will make you a better mom, a better wife, a better friend. I love you. I'm rooting for you. I'll always be here when you need me.
They will probably never change. You can't make them change. You can't will them to change. All you can change is the way you let it affect you. And you're stronger than that you're stronger than them. One day you'll be able to take a good, true look at yourself, and see the beautiful, wonderful, smart, amazing woman I see. And realize that's all YOU. Your parents didn't contribute to that. You did that all on your own.
And maybe someday you'll be able to look at that list and realize it's not worth worrying about and agonizing over, and realize you have the rest of your life to live however you want. You'll be able to walk away from that and fill your life with the love of those around you--Matt, your friends, etc. And one day you'll have your own family, and all those experiences will make you a better mom, a better wife, a better friend.
I love you. I'm rooting for you. I'll always be here when you need me.
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Yeah I wish I would just quit agonizing over it. It's like a pop up screen just keeps popping up!
Thank so much though :)
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