(no subject)
i feel like every entry now starts with "i haven't updated in nine zillion years," but hey what can you do. wait, i'm going to go put some easy mac in the microondas.
let's see. i was freaking out a lot not too long ago. but i found that if i don't think about it, it goes away. it's just hard not to think about it. because it never really goes away. If one were to watch i heart huckabees, waking life, and then some movie about the general woes of a college student, then they might basically understand my problems. but then again, i don't really understand them, so there's no telling if anyone else can either.
I just like art and people and music. i don't care for all these politics and governments and drama and red tape and filler and bullshit. i would like people to be happy and truthful, and try to make everything beautiful for each other. we're just making it all too complicated and hard. i just want to get away and live in costa rica and help people that are actually struggling, and work in the forest in the dirt and the sun, and speak in spanish to people that know how to connect to each other. I want to care about doing something, you know? I want to be able to feel and know that it's real.
so in the immediate, i am doing better in school. i just have to get up early and eat breakfast in the caf so i don't miss class. i have to be more responsible about homework. i have to just shut the fuck up and do it, you know? that's the hardest part. just doing it. im never sure how to start.
i miss everybody. and cranbrook. anyone want to try to get out there during thnxgiving break w/ me? i saw emmy on the streets of ann arbor last night, but i wasnt wearing shoes because my heels hurt me and the ground was really cold so i couldn't talk for long. and i was all dressed up because i had gone to a date party and i probably looked like a crazy person walking around in the cold in a short dress with no shoes on. whatever. you do these things in college.
today i dropped the mug that i painted in florida with doni. the handle and some of the side broke off. i was sad, and it was so weird because a girl had just been telling me not ten minutes ago how she had had one too but she had dropped it and it broke. i think it's fixable, but i don't have superglue. hence the search begins.
i want to start reading again. how do people find time for that? i also still need to get organized. badly.
I AM NOW A WORKING PERSON!!! i got a job in the dining hall. how rad. unprecedented and yet so deliciously lucrative!
so what's up with amanda's love life? nothing, mostly. still jonesing for jack, and now matt, which might be weird because i made out with one of his close friends. but i've been having some weird, intense drama so my action has been limited. hopefully the drama has been resolved, so i can get back to my usual patterns. also, the boy that looks like conor oberst doesn't especially like bright eyes. and he might be too weird. whenever i talk about people i like with my friends i usually get a rousing chorus of "you need higher standards." whatever man. i like the weird boys.
this entry doesn't have a very good rhythm to it. and it's too bulky, but too late now. i think i shall go clean my room, since i slept in til 5pm today and odds are i wont sleep anytime soon. i need some folders.
.....and scene.
let's see. i was freaking out a lot not too long ago. but i found that if i don't think about it, it goes away. it's just hard not to think about it. because it never really goes away. If one were to watch i heart huckabees, waking life, and then some movie about the general woes of a college student, then they might basically understand my problems. but then again, i don't really understand them, so there's no telling if anyone else can either.
I just like art and people and music. i don't care for all these politics and governments and drama and red tape and filler and bullshit. i would like people to be happy and truthful, and try to make everything beautiful for each other. we're just making it all too complicated and hard. i just want to get away and live in costa rica and help people that are actually struggling, and work in the forest in the dirt and the sun, and speak in spanish to people that know how to connect to each other. I want to care about doing something, you know? I want to be able to feel and know that it's real.
so in the immediate, i am doing better in school. i just have to get up early and eat breakfast in the caf so i don't miss class. i have to be more responsible about homework. i have to just shut the fuck up and do it, you know? that's the hardest part. just doing it. im never sure how to start.
i miss everybody. and cranbrook. anyone want to try to get out there during thnxgiving break w/ me? i saw emmy on the streets of ann arbor last night, but i wasnt wearing shoes because my heels hurt me and the ground was really cold so i couldn't talk for long. and i was all dressed up because i had gone to a date party and i probably looked like a crazy person walking around in the cold in a short dress with no shoes on. whatever. you do these things in college.
today i dropped the mug that i painted in florida with doni. the handle and some of the side broke off. i was sad, and it was so weird because a girl had just been telling me not ten minutes ago how she had had one too but she had dropped it and it broke. i think it's fixable, but i don't have superglue. hence the search begins.
i want to start reading again. how do people find time for that? i also still need to get organized. badly.
I AM NOW A WORKING PERSON!!! i got a job in the dining hall. how rad. unprecedented and yet so deliciously lucrative!
so what's up with amanda's love life? nothing, mostly. still jonesing for jack, and now matt, which might be weird because i made out with one of his close friends. but i've been having some weird, intense drama so my action has been limited. hopefully the drama has been resolved, so i can get back to my usual patterns. also, the boy that looks like conor oberst doesn't especially like bright eyes. and he might be too weird. whenever i talk about people i like with my friends i usually get a rousing chorus of "you need higher standards." whatever man. i like the weird boys.
this entry doesn't have a very good rhythm to it. and it's too bulky, but too late now. i think i shall go clean my room, since i slept in til 5pm today and odds are i wont sleep anytime soon. i need some folders.
.....and scene.