me and all my friends, we're all misunderstood.
i havent updated in six bizillion years. so of course since it's 4am and all i have is an outline in english for a paper in spanish that's due at 10am, now is the perfect time to resolve said dearth of updates. i have other homework to do, but whatever. secondary.
i am really peeved my by procrastination issues. i feel like i really do admire industrious students/people but i dont know how to be one. i might be too social for my own good(?). i don't like marching off to do my own thing, academically at least. sometimes i feel like if it doesn't affect anyone except me then what;s the point (in a general sense)? i feel validated by other people, their perspectives, input, opinons, and reactions. or some psychological brickabrack bullshit like that. also i question whether i really want to be here. which makes me feel like chloe on project runway 2. and everyone hated her for saying that. i hate myself for saying that. but what the hell is this all leading to? i think the end might make me pretty damn happy, but the means themselves are kinda grating on me. plus, when can you tell when you've reached the end? fucking bigger picture. takes away from all the pretty little things.
i hate doing what people tell me to do. and almost everything is a joke.
in other news, my, like, WHOLE LIFE is in spanish now. on wednesdays it totals like 3.5 hours of solid spanish not including homework in spanish. mon, tues, and thurs are usually only 2 or 3 hours. and talking to people in spanish in the hallways and the dorms. and seeing people around town and talking to them in spanish. I think im not even especially good (because i shun the specific little details and i dont have much in terms of fluidity) but i really love it. thinking in spanish all the time sometimes makes your english suck. and sayings you know in english usually dont translate, so you sound like a foo'.
i think i might be in love with this boy named jack. and one named jimmy, but anna thinks he's gay. and this boy that looks like a taller conor oberst kinda. today he wore a tweed blazer with the elbow patches *melt*. and i wonder if kirk's ever coming back to ann arbor. and oscar is so far away in england. college is great for this kind of thing. i stayed away from it in high school because of the hardcore bubble buildup gossipmill type shit. now im indulging and it's pretty fun. i just need to learn to balance work and play. and all will be good.
i'm going to kalamazoo this weekend! i will see almost all of my true loves except doni and a few others. a lot of others actually. but you get the gist of it.
this made me happy:
"and i have also come to the realization that i am so glad that you are too poor to go to that silly ny school and that i am so glad that you are here with me."
-anna striz, in a facebook message
enough is enough. this is far too long. if you made it through i hope you were at least somewhat entertained.
LOVE YALL.
i am really peeved my by procrastination issues. i feel like i really do admire industrious students/people but i dont know how to be one. i might be too social for my own good(?). i don't like marching off to do my own thing, academically at least. sometimes i feel like if it doesn't affect anyone except me then what;s the point (in a general sense)? i feel validated by other people, their perspectives, input, opinons, and reactions. or some psychological brickabrack bullshit like that. also i question whether i really want to be here. which makes me feel like chloe on project runway 2. and everyone hated her for saying that. i hate myself for saying that. but what the hell is this all leading to? i think the end might make me pretty damn happy, but the means themselves are kinda grating on me. plus, when can you tell when you've reached the end? fucking bigger picture. takes away from all the pretty little things.
i hate doing what people tell me to do. and almost everything is a joke.
in other news, my, like, WHOLE LIFE is in spanish now. on wednesdays it totals like 3.5 hours of solid spanish not including homework in spanish. mon, tues, and thurs are usually only 2 or 3 hours. and talking to people in spanish in the hallways and the dorms. and seeing people around town and talking to them in spanish. I think im not even especially good (because i shun the specific little details and i dont have much in terms of fluidity) but i really love it. thinking in spanish all the time sometimes makes your english suck. and sayings you know in english usually dont translate, so you sound like a foo'.
i think i might be in love with this boy named jack. and one named jimmy, but anna thinks he's gay. and this boy that looks like a taller conor oberst kinda. today he wore a tweed blazer with the elbow patches *melt*. and i wonder if kirk's ever coming back to ann arbor. and oscar is so far away in england. college is great for this kind of thing. i stayed away from it in high school because of the hardcore bubble buildup gossipmill type shit. now im indulging and it's pretty fun. i just need to learn to balance work and play. and all will be good.
i'm going to kalamazoo this weekend! i will see almost all of my true loves except doni and a few others. a lot of others actually. but you get the gist of it.
this made me happy:
"and i have also come to the realization that i am so glad that you are too poor to go to that silly ny school and that i am so glad that you are here with me."
-anna striz, in a facebook message
enough is enough. this is far too long. if you made it through i hope you were at least somewhat entertained.
LOVE YALL.