i came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of kick ass.
1. KIDLET NEWS:
I don't get why her "Cheese!" face is her Mongolian sneer. Tyra would tell her that her pose is full of Dreckitude. "VIV! WHERE IS YOUR NECK? ARE YOU SMIZING?"
Also, today she told me she had to pee (seriously, this was one of the hardest things to get her to do), and I told her to go up to the potty herself. AND SHE DID. AND SHE USED TOILET PAPER, AND SHE CAME BACK DOWN. Poor thing did it in the dark, since out bathroom has no windows. SO I TAUGHT HER TO TURN THE LIGHT ON AND OFF. HURRAY FOR SELF-SUFFICIENCY!
2.
WORST CHILDREN'S BOOK TITLE EVER.
IN YOUR GROCER'S JUST IN TIME FOR EASTER:
Seriously? This is made of win. Butter lamb! The symbolism from a Christina perspective is LOLARIOUS.
My coffee selections as of last week. No I don't grind them in the MEAT CHOPPER.
"Whose Cuisinart is this?"
"It's not a Cuisinart baby, it's a chopper."
"Whose chopper is this?"
"It's Zed's."
"Who's Zed?"
"Zed's dead, baby, Zed's dead."
And I just think this is funny:
3. Lastly, let us all take a moment to appreciate the fine lyrical genius of Salt N Pepa's 1993 masterpiece, "Somebody's Getting' on My Nerves":
Why don't you tell the story right, man?
The only skins you ever hit was the skins on your right hand.
You rolled up on me in your man's Beemer
And I could look at you and tell you was a meat-beatin' daydreamer.
You put the window down tryin' to act real slick
And started smilin' like a hooker with a bag of tricks.
You stuck your hand out the window trying to show me gold,
Your forty-second street Rolex was kinda old.
I wrote a number, and I know you thought you'd get humped,
But it was Dial-A-Date 1-900-CHUMP.
So why you runnin' around town playin' Jeopardy?
Get off my bra-strap, boy, stop sweatin' me.
Yes, get off my bra strap, peoples. LAWL. Personally, I don't think "meat-beating daydreamer" gets nearly enough usage.
I don't get why her "Cheese!" face is her Mongolian sneer. Tyra would tell her that her pose is full of Dreckitude. "VIV! WHERE IS YOUR NECK? ARE YOU SMIZING?"
Also, today she told me she had to pee (seriously, this was one of the hardest things to get her to do), and I told her to go up to the potty herself. AND SHE DID. AND SHE USED TOILET PAPER, AND SHE CAME BACK DOWN. Poor thing did it in the dark, since out bathroom has no windows. SO I TAUGHT HER TO TURN THE LIGHT ON AND OFF. HURRAY FOR SELF-SUFFICIENCY!
2.
WORST CHILDREN'S BOOK TITLE EVER.
IN YOUR GROCER'S JUST IN TIME FOR EASTER:
Seriously? This is made of win. Butter lamb! The symbolism from a Christina perspective is LOLARIOUS.
My coffee selections as of last week. No I don't grind them in the MEAT CHOPPER.
"Whose Cuisinart is this?"
"It's not a Cuisinart baby, it's a chopper."
"Whose chopper is this?"
"It's Zed's."
"Who's Zed?"
"Zed's dead, baby, Zed's dead."
And I just think this is funny:
3. Lastly, let us all take a moment to appreciate the fine lyrical genius of Salt N Pepa's 1993 masterpiece, "Somebody's Getting' on My Nerves":
Why don't you tell the story right, man?
The only skins you ever hit was the skins on your right hand.
You rolled up on me in your man's Beemer
And I could look at you and tell you was a meat-beatin' daydreamer.
You put the window down tryin' to act real slick
And started smilin' like a hooker with a bag of tricks.
You stuck your hand out the window trying to show me gold,
Your forty-second street Rolex was kinda old.
I wrote a number, and I know you thought you'd get humped,
But it was Dial-A-Date 1-900-CHUMP.
So why you runnin' around town playin' Jeopardy?
Get off my bra-strap, boy, stop sweatin' me.
Yes, get off my bra strap, peoples. LAWL. Personally, I don't think "meat-beating daydreamer" gets nearly enough usage.