LE SIGH. I was thinking about this, and I am fairly sure that if Jack answers this email, it will be with a big long diatribe about how in the 51st century no one really expects to be called by their name, and that he WAS NEVER CALLED BY HIS NAME, AND THAT IS WHY HE DOESN'T REALLY CARE THAT WE CALL HIM JACK.
It's going to be all this, "When I want to call Ianto, I don't call him by his name. I call him YAN OR SWEET CHEEKS, OR TIGER PANTS AND HE COMES RUNNING. IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM, AMAND, WHY NOT YOU! PEOPLE IN THE 21ST CENTURY EXPECT TOO MUCH."
And then I'll be like, "LE SIGH" and run away for join the foreign legion, like Jean Claude Van Damme in that oen movie he made. Well, and that other one he made. Pretty much every JCVD movie he ever made. Except for Time Cop.
Time cop is a great film. JCVD does a split on a countertop! Yeah! I wonder what ACJ thinks of TIMECOP.
But when I join the French foreign legion, my name will TOTES be Armand. And I'll try to convince everyone that I'm a vampire. A sexy redheaded vampire who is conflicted about god and hates to paint, or something.
You always win, because you use your WILES. I'm wise to them, oh yes.
If ask_captainjack canonises Yan, he must be shot in the face repeatedly until he comes to his senses. It will be for his own good. Ianto will bring us coffee to keep our strength up. (PS- I bet Jack has silk tiger print boxers. I WILL BET YOU CASH MONEY.)
I want to believe in the French Foreign Legion as written by Anne Rice. Your commander is a ten year old girl with wicked-sharp teeth and you spend a suspicious amount of time patrolling travelling circuses and old manses but HEY AT LEAST THE DENTAL IS GOOD, RIGHT?
I don't think ACJ has canonised YAN, but you NEVER KNOW.
I also prefer to think that "shot in the face" is a euphemism for "hit like the fin of an angry cod" in this instance. Repeatedly. I was going to make a reference to riding a meat pony, but a) I just did and b) I don't know what that means.
OMG MY VAMPPIRE CHRONICLES FOREIGN LEGION WOULD BE SO BADASS. I would like, lead a troop of vampire warriors that dress up like clowns, and every once in a while I'd have to whine and kill them all. And then I'd go looking for my dead commander, the hot Roman Gaul, who, when he found me, would make hit vampire sex to me under the full moon of the...
somehow actual military missions come into this, but obvs, my personal life is more interesting. when I'm a vampire Foreign Legionaire, of course.
I guess Lestat can come along, as long as I get to push him off a building every once in a while.
It's going to be all this, "When I want to call Ianto, I don't call him by his name. I call him YAN OR SWEET CHEEKS, OR TIGER PANTS AND HE COMES RUNNING. IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM, AMAND, WHY NOT YOU! PEOPLE IN THE 21ST CENTURY EXPECT TOO MUCH."
And then I'll be like, "LE SIGH" and run away for join the foreign legion, like Jean Claude Van Damme in that oen movie he made. Well, and that other one he made. Pretty much every JCVD movie he ever made. Except for Time Cop.
Time cop is a great film. JCVD does a split on a countertop! Yeah! I wonder what ACJ thinks of TIMECOP.
But when I join the French foreign legion, my name will TOTES be Armand. And I'll try to convince everyone that I'm a vampire. A sexy redheaded vampire who is conflicted about god and hates to paint, or something.
I'm making a lot of really good points. I win.
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If ask_captainjack canonises Yan, he must be shot in the face repeatedly until he comes to his senses. It will be for his own good. Ianto will bring us coffee to keep our strength up. (PS- I bet Jack has silk tiger print boxers. I WILL BET YOU CASH MONEY.)
I want to believe in the French Foreign Legion as written by Anne Rice. Your commander is a ten year old girl with wicked-sharp teeth and you spend a suspicious amount of time patrolling travelling circuses and old manses but HEY AT LEAST THE DENTAL IS GOOD, RIGHT?
Reply
I also prefer to think that "shot in the face" is a euphemism for "hit like the fin of an angry cod" in this instance. Repeatedly. I was going to make a reference to riding a meat pony, but a) I just did and b) I don't know what that means.
OMG MY VAMPPIRE CHRONICLES FOREIGN LEGION WOULD BE SO BADASS. I would like, lead a troop of vampire warriors that dress up like clowns, and every once in a while I'd have to whine and kill them all. And then I'd go looking for my dead commander, the hot Roman Gaul, who, when he found me, would make hit vampire sex to me under the full moon of the...
somehow actual military missions come into this, but obvs, my personal life is more interesting. when I'm a vampire Foreign Legionaire, of course.
I guess Lestat can come along, as long as I get to push him off a building every once in a while.
Reply
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