long time...
ok so it's been a while but venting is needed. WARNING: this could get emotional... no this WILL get emotional.
sometimes i don't understand how i get into these patterns. just when something is going right or when i think i might be growing and finding some new stuff, the same thing happens again. so here i am, struggling with my work, feeling lonelier than ever, and sitting back while everyone else gets to experience all the things that i want. it sounds self-centered and probably bitchy but i just can't help it. sometimes i want to be selfish and just say "when's it my turn?" why can't something go right for once... when it rains it pours. and one thing going wrong in life usually just triggers something else... the problem is life is short. and senior year is short. and i don't want to miss a thing.
but luckily i have AMAZING friends, one in particular who i would fall apart without. and there is no way i can ever repay these unbelievable people for their wisdom and support... and yet at the end of the day something is missing. i am so sick of waiting. i'm so sick of being the "cute one" and the "great friend" and just the girl who takes care of everyone else. i need someone to take care of me. patterns. i hate these patterns. i don't want to be this needy girl. and i'm sure tomorrow i'll be fine, but it's only a matter of time until i feel this way again.
sometimes i don't understand how i get into these patterns. just when something is going right or when i think i might be growing and finding some new stuff, the same thing happens again. so here i am, struggling with my work, feeling lonelier than ever, and sitting back while everyone else gets to experience all the things that i want. it sounds self-centered and probably bitchy but i just can't help it. sometimes i want to be selfish and just say "when's it my turn?" why can't something go right for once... when it rains it pours. and one thing going wrong in life usually just triggers something else... the problem is life is short. and senior year is short. and i don't want to miss a thing.
but luckily i have AMAZING friends, one in particular who i would fall apart without. and there is no way i can ever repay these unbelievable people for their wisdom and support... and yet at the end of the day something is missing. i am so sick of waiting. i'm so sick of being the "cute one" and the "great friend" and just the girl who takes care of everyone else. i need someone to take care of me. patterns. i hate these patterns. i don't want to be this needy girl. and i'm sure tomorrow i'll be fine, but it's only a matter of time until i feel this way again.