Torn Apart
Title: Torn Apart
Author: amamae
Genre: Angst (it’s not pure angst anw)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Inoo/Yabu; Inoo/Hikaru
Disclaimer: I own the characters not the real person
Summary: The mysterious Hikaru never stop to bother Inoo’s mind while at the same time someone abruptly take his place in Inoo’s life. Yabu Kota.
Author’s note: Unbeta-ed, poor english, AND I haven't studied for my exam >.< Uhn, actually this is related to “Is this LOVE”, “Love is Strange yet Amazing” … but read separately is okay. First person POV (Inoo Kei’s). jya~ minna comments are LOVED
I've ever said to you that I'm prepared for any probabilities of losing him, haven't I?
For this matter I briefly proclaimed that I'm strong enough as long as no hint of his existence pop up before my eyes, yet I'm so fragile every time I heard even only his name being mentioned whereas actually it's someone else's name. That's the blind spot if name has no copyright. Hikaru. Can you guess how many people who have the same name?
Speaking about copyright, I hope that univ assignment also doesn't have copyright. Sadly, plagiarism is strictly prohibited. Oh! Don't judge that I want to copy someone else's work, no! That's impossible for a-quite-perfectionist type like me.
I remember it clearly; it was Monday evening when this all hesitancy started. Before, I was so busy at campus with so many things to do from lecture, project, and events arrangement and I got home at 7 p.m. I only had an hour to finish my “workplace design” assignment that it had to be sent at 8 p.m. to my friend. I skipped my dinner; even I didn’t bother to take a bath or changing my clothes.
At around 7:30 p.m. I decided to lay my body down for a while, just to do some relaxation since I haven’t taken any rest all day long. Stupid thing which lead me to a surprising moment few hours later. I fell asleep.
Two hours later, I woke up with high level of shock. A phone call … from my friend.
A high pitch voice immediately shouted from my phone “What a hell are you doing?? I’ve been waiting for two hours? You didn’t reply my messages and just picked up my third call! Are you-
“Sorry! I’m truly sorry!!” I cut her series of anger words.
I heard her sighed at her cell phone. “Well, no use arguing right now … sent it to me immediately!”
“Chotto~ …” I hesitantly begged.
“What??” She sounded suspicious.
“Uhn well, gimme 30 minutes more … plea-
“WHAT DO Y-
“PLEASE!!!” I did beg her. I know I was messed up that day. It wasn’t like the usual me.
“Do as you wish! If in 30 mins those files haven’t been in my hand you must do the rest of this project! No objection!” She hung up.
I desperately finished things up 25 minutes later. Blame the suck connection at that time. It suddenly disconnected without any rational reason. The impact of course I can’t send those files right on time, it implied to another effect that I’ve to do this project all by myself.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
I did search for the problem and try some methods to turn the connection back. No use, an hour left without any positive result. I was about to give up when I heard a notification sound.
“Online chat!” I shouted. It connected.
“Daichan? At this time? What is he doing at midnight?” I asked myself while opening his chat box.
Aaaaaaaahhh zannen, he’s just talked to me
Off already … Hikaru .. :(
What are you doing this late??
My eyes widened as I see Hikaru’s name screened there. My finger rushed to type my reply.
WHAT??? What was he doing this late? And so do you??
I pushed the “Enter” button harshly. And what!??? DISCONNECTED!
“Kuso!! Internet connection SUCK! !” I grudged as if the internet connection would response me. Luckily, I didn’t throw all zoos’ members out only to grudge internet connection.
I took my cell phone to get online. With an almost same sentence I replied Dai-chan. I felt doki-doki while waiting him to answer. Few seconds later ….
Dai-chan is now offline.
“What!!??? WHAT!??” I panicked like an idiot.
DAI-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN
WAIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
T________T
I sent it wholeheartedly even though I know precisely he’s off already.
***
Hikaru’s name appeared again after three months since his last offline message.
07:00 a.m. at campus.
“Hufff …” I sighed. It was too early to be at campus if it’s not Yabu’s force to discuss about the prototype design we were working on. But there’s no sign of his presence, even just his scent.
One hour later …
I almost lost my patience. I texted him saying that I’ve been waiting for an hour and if he doesn’t appear in 10 minutes I’ll just leave.
A minute later he replied.
“Okay, sorry. I’m heading there”
I close my cell phone. Reading newspaper, borrowed from the security’s office.
10 minutes passed but Yabu didn’t show up. I took a deep breath ready to leave my seat. But I thought it would be useless even if I go. I turned back. Waiting. Just another 10 minutes, I said to myself. Everytime I heard footsteps, I would immediately raised my head just like a kid waiting for a birthday present.
“Hhmmmmmmmmm” I hold myself not to scream. 30 minutes passed since I got his message. I decided not to see the clock, preparing a speech to scold Yabu once he arrived.
Until my speech preparation done, he hadn’t popped up. My mind went to another part of this country where Hikaru supposed to be. Hikaru …
I wonder, does he ever think about me? He always popped up all of sudden and disappeared at almost the same time. I don’t understand …
“Thank you for waiting …” Said a familiar soft voice on my ear. I jumped back and found out Yabu’s face so close to mine with his smile continued his sentence “Princess …”
I froze in surprised, he then smirked turned his eyes into lines. “Okay! Let’s start!” He took a seat beside me.
My expression was mixed between anger, shock, but at the same time impressed by his appearance. Yabu always come with fresh aura, half wet hair-I’m sure he doesn’t bother to dry it and let the wind do the job, and his perfume smell different-relaxing. My scolding speech already in a recycle bin and I was too lazy to restore it.
“Yabu??”
“Hmm?” he looked directly into my eyes. I gasped, not prepared for this situation.
“Well, uhn do you realize that you’ve 2 hours late?” Lame question! What’s wrong with me? Of course he knew it. I should scold him not asking.
He didn’t response to my question and concentrated on my example design which now being edited by him.
“Amazing! Perfect! You’re awesome Inoo-chan!” He gazed into my eyes.
“Eh? Shut up!” I looked away to hide my redden face. Yabu is gifted to have a sweet mouth, he’s good at making people feel high.
Since then, our meeting frequency increased. Not only for project, he sometimes asked me out and often called me at midnight to discuss about some physics theory or just to say goodnight.
Without realizing, I always missed his smile. His “thank you very much” for every action I made. His deep bows before take his leave.
Yabu seemed so real to me.
***
“Inoo-chan …” Said he on the phone.
“Hmm?? Don’t hang your sentence that way. You make me anxious.” I pouted.
“How should I put this, uhn, I’m very very very missing you.”
“What? Liar. That’s impossible. We just met this morning, stop flirting Yabu-kun.” I laughed followed by him.
“Moreover, you’ll be away for 2 weeks only. This is for your study’s sake. Do the research properly there!” I lectured him. He was doing his research at a village with his team.
“I bet there’s cute girl there, hmm??”
“What?? Wait, why suddenly …”
My face turned red, but Yabu couldn’t see me anyway so I wasn’t so panicked.
“As ur prediction, there are some cute girls here even my partner looks like a model of fashion magazine. How?” He laughed.
I sighed. “See? You don’t need to call me this late, do you? It’s improper!” I pouted. Long he didn’t answer.
“Yabu??You still there?
“Inoo Kei” he called my full name with serious tone.
“Eh? What” I lost my words to response.
“All this time …” He took a space. I gulped heard his opening sentence. “I’m being serious, I never forced you to accept me, but my heart has determined that the chosen one is you. I’ll be always waiting for your heart to welcome mine into its warm embrace.”
Silent
“So what do you call it?” He asked me.
“Which one?” I pretended to be dull
“Hmmm??Forget it! Ne, I want you to meet me at station when I come back. I want your face is the first thing I see.”
“What?? You have such a sweet tongue, Yabu-kun!” I giggled.
“How do you know? You don’t ever taste it.”
“Oh!!yes … please let me.”
“You want it? Am I so tempting for you?” Yabu teased me more.
“Don’t be so innocent, you want me first!”
“Alright princess, I do want you to have me on your dream right now …”
“No lullaby?”
“Certainly her majesty, I’ll sing for you … Princess Kei”
***
It was his last sweet word for me. Next day I was the one who call him. He didn’t pick it till my third trial, he picked it up but with harsh voice he told me not to make any call because he was busy and need concentration.
I was shocked at his behavior, yet I believed him. I shouldn’t disturb him at this point. So I didn’t either call or text him for the next two days.
The third day afterwards I text him only to ask his condition. No reply. He seemed vanished. And it’s not only once or twice his phone was nonactive.
I kept texting him, hoping he would once read it. No use.
Alright, I’ll just ask him once we meet at the station as promised.
Three days before his arrival I got an email from my professor saying that my paper is accepted to be presented at a national conference. It was unbelievable! The first person who I wanted to inform is Yabu since he was the one who encourage me to participate.
I dialed his number excitedly. “Please, Yabu pick it up! Yabu ... Yabu ...” Tears slowly flew down my cheek. I put my phone staring at a smiling Yabu on the screen. I didn’t understand what kind of tears it was. Happy? Sad? Touched?
“I miss you, Yabu-kun.”
***
“No, it’s raining ... “ I looked at my watch. 30 minutes before his scheduled arrival. I rushed to the station bringing two umbrellas. I texted Yabu before saying,
As promised, I’ll fetch you at station. Let’s have lunch together, I know a good place. And there’s surprise for you :)
Kei
The train has arrived! I looked around between those thousands people but this Yabu Kota wasn’t there. I assumed he was late, as always, and missed his train. I call him, prepared to scold him. Always and always no answer. I was tired already, it was intolerable.
“What does he think about this important thing? Well, even if this is not important for him at least tell me “I’m late” “You can wait at caffee nearby” or even “you don’t need to wait there”!”
More than a week we lost contact, Yabu, what’s wrong with him? I’m confused myself. I don’t understand this situation at all.
Two hours later.
My friend called me because I almost late to submit my assignment. I got all soaked in front of station because of running under the heavy rain which somehow represent the cyclone in my heart. My head felt burning as I held my tears to flow. I dialed Yabu’s number for the countless time.
“Yabu, I don’t know if you listen to this message but ...well, up to you. I’m tired already. I ... love you.”
***
A week passed, I never met Yabu. I never heard his voice anymore.
“Yabu, please tell me what the matter is. We, oh well, I can’t be like this forever. Just tell me if I made mistakes. Or if you have problem, I don’t mind to be a place where you share it. Yabu reply me, I’ll go crazy of being confused. Please ...”
I almost gave up when I saw his car key at my room. I immediately text-ed him.
Yabu-kun, I want to return your car key. Can we meet?
Not more than 2 minutes he replied.
Just put it at the campus front desk. I’ll take it.
What?? My eyes felt really hot. What does it mean????He doesn't want to see me at all
I took a deep breath, “Alright, do anything as you pleased, Yabu Kota!” Tears is too pure to take a role at this matter. I tried my best not to cry. No! Not for him!
***
“It was Yabu.” I closed my story. Dai-chan gazed into my eyes with concern. He soothed me through his eyes. I’ve uttered everything about Yabu and about my feeling.
“Then, you put the key?” Daiki asked still in disbelief.
I nodded. “You’re right. The next day up till now, he never look into my eyes when passing me by. He pretended not seeing me there. That’s the worst.”
“You didn’t do something wrong here, what’s your plan?” He asked.
“As for Yabu-
At the same time my professor came and asked me to enter the conference room.
I stood up, “I’ve decided my step, Dai-chan. Don’t worry.”I smiled to him. “Now pray for me.” He seemed thinking about my words before he shouted, “What about Hikaru!?”
I’ve walked into the conference room that I didn’t reply.
From the corridor I saw Yabu walked towards my direction. He didn’t look into my eyes like before but I’ve decided...
“Ah, Yabu-kun!!” I called him. Without waiting for him to say anything I continued, “I’m about to present my paper. Wish me luck! Okay!?” I gave my best smile. Left him stand still in frozen mode.
Yes, I’ve decided. The Yabu now is only someone I know, the admirable person with his great ability at design and a young innovator. We're torn apart as a book, but we’re connected by its content.
It hurts, I know but better than pretending not knowing each other.
What about Hikaru!?
Dai-chan’s voice echoed in my head.
No need to answer it now.
***
Author: amamae
Genre: Angst (it’s not pure angst anw)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Inoo/Yabu; Inoo/Hikaru
Disclaimer: I own the characters not the real person
Summary: The mysterious Hikaru never stop to bother Inoo’s mind while at the same time someone abruptly take his place in Inoo’s life. Yabu Kota.
Author’s note: Unbeta-ed, poor english, AND I haven't studied for my exam >.< Uhn, actually this is related to “Is this LOVE”, “Love is Strange yet Amazing” … but read separately is okay. First person POV (Inoo Kei’s). jya~ minna comments are LOVED
I've ever said to you that I'm prepared for any probabilities of losing him, haven't I?
For this matter I briefly proclaimed that I'm strong enough as long as no hint of his existence pop up before my eyes, yet I'm so fragile every time I heard even only his name being mentioned whereas actually it's someone else's name. That's the blind spot if name has no copyright. Hikaru. Can you guess how many people who have the same name?
Speaking about copyright, I hope that univ assignment also doesn't have copyright. Sadly, plagiarism is strictly prohibited. Oh! Don't judge that I want to copy someone else's work, no! That's impossible for a-quite-perfectionist type like me.
I remember it clearly; it was Monday evening when this all hesitancy started. Before, I was so busy at campus with so many things to do from lecture, project, and events arrangement and I got home at 7 p.m. I only had an hour to finish my “workplace design” assignment that it had to be sent at 8 p.m. to my friend. I skipped my dinner; even I didn’t bother to take a bath or changing my clothes.
At around 7:30 p.m. I decided to lay my body down for a while, just to do some relaxation since I haven’t taken any rest all day long. Stupid thing which lead me to a surprising moment few hours later. I fell asleep.
Two hours later, I woke up with high level of shock. A phone call … from my friend.
A high pitch voice immediately shouted from my phone “What a hell are you doing?? I’ve been waiting for two hours? You didn’t reply my messages and just picked up my third call! Are you-
“Sorry! I’m truly sorry!!” I cut her series of anger words.
I heard her sighed at her cell phone. “Well, no use arguing right now … sent it to me immediately!”
“Chotto~ …” I hesitantly begged.
“What??” She sounded suspicious.
“Uhn well, gimme 30 minutes more … plea-
“WHAT DO Y-
“PLEASE!!!” I did beg her. I know I was messed up that day. It wasn’t like the usual me.
“Do as you wish! If in 30 mins those files haven’t been in my hand you must do the rest of this project! No objection!” She hung up.
I desperately finished things up 25 minutes later. Blame the suck connection at that time. It suddenly disconnected without any rational reason. The impact of course I can’t send those files right on time, it implied to another effect that I’ve to do this project all by myself.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
I did search for the problem and try some methods to turn the connection back. No use, an hour left without any positive result. I was about to give up when I heard a notification sound.
“Online chat!” I shouted. It connected.
“Daichan? At this time? What is he doing at midnight?” I asked myself while opening his chat box.
Aaaaaaaahhh zannen, he’s just talked to me
Off already … Hikaru .. :(
What are you doing this late??
My eyes widened as I see Hikaru’s name screened there. My finger rushed to type my reply.
WHAT??? What was he doing this late? And so do you??
I pushed the “Enter” button harshly. And what!??? DISCONNECTED!
“Kuso!! Internet connection SUCK! !” I grudged as if the internet connection would response me. Luckily, I didn’t throw all zoos’ members out only to grudge internet connection.
I took my cell phone to get online. With an almost same sentence I replied Dai-chan. I felt doki-doki while waiting him to answer. Few seconds later ….
Dai-chan is now offline.
“What!!??? WHAT!??” I panicked like an idiot.
DAI-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN
WAIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
T________T
I sent it wholeheartedly even though I know precisely he’s off already.
***
Hikaru’s name appeared again after three months since his last offline message.
07:00 a.m. at campus.
“Hufff …” I sighed. It was too early to be at campus if it’s not Yabu’s force to discuss about the prototype design we were working on. But there’s no sign of his presence, even just his scent.
One hour later …
I almost lost my patience. I texted him saying that I’ve been waiting for an hour and if he doesn’t appear in 10 minutes I’ll just leave.
A minute later he replied.
“Okay, sorry. I’m heading there”
I close my cell phone. Reading newspaper, borrowed from the security’s office.
10 minutes passed but Yabu didn’t show up. I took a deep breath ready to leave my seat. But I thought it would be useless even if I go. I turned back. Waiting. Just another 10 minutes, I said to myself. Everytime I heard footsteps, I would immediately raised my head just like a kid waiting for a birthday present.
“Hhmmmmmmmmm” I hold myself not to scream. 30 minutes passed since I got his message. I decided not to see the clock, preparing a speech to scold Yabu once he arrived.
Until my speech preparation done, he hadn’t popped up. My mind went to another part of this country where Hikaru supposed to be. Hikaru …
I wonder, does he ever think about me? He always popped up all of sudden and disappeared at almost the same time. I don’t understand …
“Thank you for waiting …” Said a familiar soft voice on my ear. I jumped back and found out Yabu’s face so close to mine with his smile continued his sentence “Princess …”
I froze in surprised, he then smirked turned his eyes into lines. “Okay! Let’s start!” He took a seat beside me.
My expression was mixed between anger, shock, but at the same time impressed by his appearance. Yabu always come with fresh aura, half wet hair-I’m sure he doesn’t bother to dry it and let the wind do the job, and his perfume smell different-relaxing. My scolding speech already in a recycle bin and I was too lazy to restore it.
“Yabu??”
“Hmm?” he looked directly into my eyes. I gasped, not prepared for this situation.
“Well, uhn do you realize that you’ve 2 hours late?” Lame question! What’s wrong with me? Of course he knew it. I should scold him not asking.
He didn’t response to my question and concentrated on my example design which now being edited by him.
“Amazing! Perfect! You’re awesome Inoo-chan!” He gazed into my eyes.
“Eh? Shut up!” I looked away to hide my redden face. Yabu is gifted to have a sweet mouth, he’s good at making people feel high.
Since then, our meeting frequency increased. Not only for project, he sometimes asked me out and often called me at midnight to discuss about some physics theory or just to say goodnight.
Without realizing, I always missed his smile. His “thank you very much” for every action I made. His deep bows before take his leave.
Yabu seemed so real to me.
***
“Inoo-chan …” Said he on the phone.
“Hmm?? Don’t hang your sentence that way. You make me anxious.” I pouted.
“How should I put this, uhn, I’m very very very missing you.”
“What? Liar. That’s impossible. We just met this morning, stop flirting Yabu-kun.” I laughed followed by him.
“Moreover, you’ll be away for 2 weeks only. This is for your study’s sake. Do the research properly there!” I lectured him. He was doing his research at a village with his team.
“I bet there’s cute girl there, hmm??”
“What?? Wait, why suddenly …”
My face turned red, but Yabu couldn’t see me anyway so I wasn’t so panicked.
“As ur prediction, there are some cute girls here even my partner looks like a model of fashion magazine. How?” He laughed.
I sighed. “See? You don’t need to call me this late, do you? It’s improper!” I pouted. Long he didn’t answer.
“Yabu??You still there?
“Inoo Kei” he called my full name with serious tone.
“Eh? What” I lost my words to response.
“All this time …” He took a space. I gulped heard his opening sentence. “I’m being serious, I never forced you to accept me, but my heart has determined that the chosen one is you. I’ll be always waiting for your heart to welcome mine into its warm embrace.”
Silent
“So what do you call it?” He asked me.
“Which one?” I pretended to be dull
“Hmmm??Forget it! Ne, I want you to meet me at station when I come back. I want your face is the first thing I see.”
“What?? You have such a sweet tongue, Yabu-kun!” I giggled.
“How do you know? You don’t ever taste it.”
“Oh!!yes … please let me.”
“You want it? Am I so tempting for you?” Yabu teased me more.
“Don’t be so innocent, you want me first!”
“Alright princess, I do want you to have me on your dream right now …”
“No lullaby?”
“Certainly her majesty, I’ll sing for you … Princess Kei”
***
It was his last sweet word for me. Next day I was the one who call him. He didn’t pick it till my third trial, he picked it up but with harsh voice he told me not to make any call because he was busy and need concentration.
I was shocked at his behavior, yet I believed him. I shouldn’t disturb him at this point. So I didn’t either call or text him for the next two days.
The third day afterwards I text him only to ask his condition. No reply. He seemed vanished. And it’s not only once or twice his phone was nonactive.
I kept texting him, hoping he would once read it. No use.
Alright, I’ll just ask him once we meet at the station as promised.
Three days before his arrival I got an email from my professor saying that my paper is accepted to be presented at a national conference. It was unbelievable! The first person who I wanted to inform is Yabu since he was the one who encourage me to participate.
I dialed his number excitedly. “Please, Yabu pick it up! Yabu ... Yabu ...” Tears slowly flew down my cheek. I put my phone staring at a smiling Yabu on the screen. I didn’t understand what kind of tears it was. Happy? Sad? Touched?
“I miss you, Yabu-kun.”
***
“No, it’s raining ... “ I looked at my watch. 30 minutes before his scheduled arrival. I rushed to the station bringing two umbrellas. I texted Yabu before saying,
As promised, I’ll fetch you at station. Let’s have lunch together, I know a good place. And there’s surprise for you :)
Kei
The train has arrived! I looked around between those thousands people but this Yabu Kota wasn’t there. I assumed he was late, as always, and missed his train. I call him, prepared to scold him. Always and always no answer. I was tired already, it was intolerable.
“What does he think about this important thing? Well, even if this is not important for him at least tell me “I’m late” “You can wait at caffee nearby” or even “you don’t need to wait there”!”
More than a week we lost contact, Yabu, what’s wrong with him? I’m confused myself. I don’t understand this situation at all.
Two hours later.
My friend called me because I almost late to submit my assignment. I got all soaked in front of station because of running under the heavy rain which somehow represent the cyclone in my heart. My head felt burning as I held my tears to flow. I dialed Yabu’s number for the countless time.
“Yabu, I don’t know if you listen to this message but ...well, up to you. I’m tired already. I ... love you.”
***
A week passed, I never met Yabu. I never heard his voice anymore.
“Yabu, please tell me what the matter is. We, oh well, I can’t be like this forever. Just tell me if I made mistakes. Or if you have problem, I don’t mind to be a place where you share it. Yabu reply me, I’ll go crazy of being confused. Please ...”
I almost gave up when I saw his car key at my room. I immediately text-ed him.
Yabu-kun, I want to return your car key. Can we meet?
Not more than 2 minutes he replied.
Just put it at the campus front desk. I’ll take it.
What?? My eyes felt really hot. What does it mean????He doesn't want to see me at all
I took a deep breath, “Alright, do anything as you pleased, Yabu Kota!” Tears is too pure to take a role at this matter. I tried my best not to cry. No! Not for him!
***
“It was Yabu.” I closed my story. Dai-chan gazed into my eyes with concern. He soothed me through his eyes. I’ve uttered everything about Yabu and about my feeling.
“Then, you put the key?” Daiki asked still in disbelief.
I nodded. “You’re right. The next day up till now, he never look into my eyes when passing me by. He pretended not seeing me there. That’s the worst.”
“You didn’t do something wrong here, what’s your plan?” He asked.
“As for Yabu-
At the same time my professor came and asked me to enter the conference room.
I stood up, “I’ve decided my step, Dai-chan. Don’t worry.”I smiled to him. “Now pray for me.” He seemed thinking about my words before he shouted, “What about Hikaru!?”
I’ve walked into the conference room that I didn’t reply.
From the corridor I saw Yabu walked towards my direction. He didn’t look into my eyes like before but I’ve decided...
“Ah, Yabu-kun!!” I called him. Without waiting for him to say anything I continued, “I’m about to present my paper. Wish me luck! Okay!?” I gave my best smile. Left him stand still in frozen mode.
Yes, I’ve decided. The Yabu now is only someone I know, the admirable person with his great ability at design and a young innovator. We're torn apart as a book, but we’re connected by its content.
It hurts, I know but better than pretending not knowing each other.
What about Hikaru!?
Dai-chan’s voice echoed in my head.
No need to answer it now.
***