Journaling thoughts
I have so many random thoughts all over the place sometimes. And I don't want to flood twitter, facebook and here with them every 5 seconds. So I will keep a notebook with me, I decided. I'm going to buy one tonight and just write as I see fit. Because I keep thinking about changes I want to make, like thought patterns I have. I keep validating choices that are just plain stupid.
Then I think about certain situations and feel like I need to write it all down to make sure I am taking the right precautions. How do I keep myself from just repeating all this nonsense over and over again?
And no, you won't understand most of this dear LJ but that's okay. I'm a little scrambled right now.
You know what I'm feeling right now? Happy but confused and a bit excited about it all. I am itching to start school again, go on late night runs with my roomie and be okay with everything. Sure that last one is a bit of a stretch since things happen which disrupt everything but I swear I can deal with life much better now then I ever have and it seems like that confidence only grows. Every time someone proves they are a black hole of dishonesty, shady personality and counter-productive nature it gets easier to cut them lose.
I'm going to work right now, my job is slowly breaking into unenjoyable territory because of the worker atmosphere. The kids are great, I just can't stand tension in coworkers.
I keep asking myself, "What will happen in a year?" and it scares me. I don't want to lose my friends, I don't want to leave Amber alone. Will I change too much to relate to you anymore? And if I make new friends, I hope they are wonderful. This will be easier then my brain makes it out to be. But I am terrified. I have never lived out of the everett, lynnwood area.
So many thoughts, not enough time to vent.
Then I think about certain situations and feel like I need to write it all down to make sure I am taking the right precautions. How do I keep myself from just repeating all this nonsense over and over again?
And no, you won't understand most of this dear LJ but that's okay. I'm a little scrambled right now.
You know what I'm feeling right now? Happy but confused and a bit excited about it all. I am itching to start school again, go on late night runs with my roomie and be okay with everything. Sure that last one is a bit of a stretch since things happen which disrupt everything but I swear I can deal with life much better now then I ever have and it seems like that confidence only grows. Every time someone proves they are a black hole of dishonesty, shady personality and counter-productive nature it gets easier to cut them lose.
I'm going to work right now, my job is slowly breaking into unenjoyable territory because of the worker atmosphere. The kids are great, I just can't stand tension in coworkers.
I keep asking myself, "What will happen in a year?" and it scares me. I don't want to lose my friends, I don't want to leave Amber alone. Will I change too much to relate to you anymore? And if I make new friends, I hope they are wonderful. This will be easier then my brain makes it out to be. But I am terrified. I have never lived out of the everett, lynnwood area.
So many thoughts, not enough time to vent.