Mar 30, 2006 13:59
Through December... well my heart always gets ahead of reality. I was planning to visit over New Years and then see her for Chinese New Year. Then her aunt showed up for New Year so B cancelled on me.
The last night I spent in LA, B said she wanted to talk seriously. In summary, she didn't feel she could move to Singapore, and I couldn't leave my job to go to Beijing. So she gave up. [3 months later and it still makes me cry] I was so stunned to have gotten so fast to the point of making such decisions I really didn't know what to say. If she wants to give up what can I do?
We barely spoke for the next two weeks. I just couldn't deal with it. Over that time I began to realize how much I cared.
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This was the second painful break-up in just a few months. As I expressed to B later - every time I fall on my face it gets a little harder to get back up again. I get worn down and my optimism starts to slide away.