Commuter
Happy Halloween!
It's really weird that I'm 'kinda' celebrating Halloween... I mean yeah, I've celebrated a fair share of Halloweens before. I went to coslay competitions during Halloween, did my Trick or Treat-ing when I was a kid once... and stuff like that. But it's so weird that it's such a big deal to celebrate Halloween. Technically, I'm 'kinda celebrating it just because my jobs celebrate it.
Tonikaku, I'm not going to talk about Halloween as my topic for the month! It was just an extra! LOL!~
So this month, I experienced some new things. For one thing, I finally drove a car by myself in the freeway! *Hoooorayyyy!!!* It's a big deal for me because my mom doesn't trust me when I'm driving, and everybody seems so trustful to my Bro when he drives. It took a few weeks for me to drive the car by myself. So it's definitely an achievement.
My brother finally got a job. And everyone is so excited about it. And truthfully, it's not just because of the money... It's also because we could leave these hell hole. I'm excited to get an apartment. And seriously, I'm looking forward for the next coming weeks. It's going to be hard but at least we can start on our own.
Well, back to driving... Since Bro now has a job, there are 3 people who needs the car. But apparently, we only have one car. So, it was decided that we should also know how to use the public transport, so that it won't be a bother.
Out of the three of us (my mom, bro and I), I was the first one who experienced the public transport. AND I LOVED IT! I loved the ambiance of me not driving, of strangers being on the same bus, and I just loved looking at the window! I loved just doing nothing, relaxing, listening to music until I get to go somewhere!
Every time I drive a really long way, I end up thinking that we/I should've commuted...
I don't know why, but it made me think about how my life is... I always prefer to be the commuter... not the driver.
I kind of thought that through out my life, I always been the best friend of the main character and not the main character herself. The follower instead of the leader...
In some way, this is the first time I find it so wrong... In my life, I have realized that I'm always letting other people lead me where I should be. They seem to be the one driving my life... And it seems like I've been okay with that. But I think it's not okay anymore... Especially now. It took me to drive a car to make me realize that other people have always been deciding for me, doing thing for and maybe even shaping up the life that I've been having...
I could think moments that can only be counted by one hand where I was the driver. And those are a teaching degree and Nami... Fuck! Seriously?! What am I doing with myself? A commuter... and never a driver... I chose not to be a driver. I always seem to play it safe and just take the ride. I chose other people to take me somewhere and not drive myself to where I really want to be...
But... where do I really want to be? I know where I want to be... but I guess I'm lost.
It's really weird that I'm 'kinda' celebrating Halloween... I mean yeah, I've celebrated a fair share of Halloweens before. I went to coslay competitions during Halloween, did my Trick or Treat-ing when I was a kid once... and stuff like that. But it's so weird that it's such a big deal to celebrate Halloween. Technically, I'm 'kinda celebrating it just because my jobs celebrate it.
Tonikaku, I'm not going to talk about Halloween as my topic for the month! It was just an extra! LOL!~
So this month, I experienced some new things. For one thing, I finally drove a car by myself in the freeway! *Hoooorayyyy!!!* It's a big deal for me because my mom doesn't trust me when I'm driving, and everybody seems so trustful to my Bro when he drives. It took a few weeks for me to drive the car by myself. So it's definitely an achievement.
My brother finally got a job. And everyone is so excited about it. And truthfully, it's not just because of the money... It's also because we could leave these hell hole. I'm excited to get an apartment. And seriously, I'm looking forward for the next coming weeks. It's going to be hard but at least we can start on our own.
Well, back to driving... Since Bro now has a job, there are 3 people who needs the car. But apparently, we only have one car. So, it was decided that we should also know how to use the public transport, so that it won't be a bother.
Out of the three of us (my mom, bro and I), I was the first one who experienced the public transport. AND I LOVED IT! I loved the ambiance of me not driving, of strangers being on the same bus, and I just loved looking at the window! I loved just doing nothing, relaxing, listening to music until I get to go somewhere!
Every time I drive a really long way, I end up thinking that we/I should've commuted...
I don't know why, but it made me think about how my life is... I always prefer to be the commuter... not the driver.
I kind of thought that through out my life, I always been the best friend of the main character and not the main character herself. The follower instead of the leader...
In some way, this is the first time I find it so wrong... In my life, I have realized that I'm always letting other people lead me where I should be. They seem to be the one driving my life... And it seems like I've been okay with that. But I think it's not okay anymore... Especially now. It took me to drive a car to make me realize that other people have always been deciding for me, doing thing for and maybe even shaping up the life that I've been having...
I could think moments that can only be counted by one hand where I was the driver. And those are a teaching degree and Nami... Fuck! Seriously?! What am I doing with myself? A commuter... and never a driver... I chose not to be a driver. I always seem to play it safe and just take the ride. I chose other people to take me somewhere and not drive myself to where I really want to be...
But... where do I really want to be? I know where I want to be... but I guess I'm lost.