Erg...
No one called me to hang out after prom. Fine. Whatever. Maybe it's better I missed out on the entire night so I couldn't see what it was even like to go to Prom so I won't know what I missed. It's still fucked up though. I got the entire weekend off work which was not easy since I just started and I haven't done shit. Tonight Michelle tried to invite me to some hotel where people where all getting fucked up since she and Heather decided no rave for whatever bullshit reason so I didn't go either when I had my hopes so high. The weekend I have been planning for so long since it was finally something exciting to do and I end up doing what I always do. Which isn't really bad because I love just hanging out with Andrew and me and him and Davidbaker saw Shrek 2 which was good. It's just funny that people say I don't hang out as much but when I want to they don't call me. Then they invite me when they are bored or whatever the next night and I am supposed to jump at the chance. I am sick of everyone giving me crap about drugs. I am sick of everyone being obsessed with them. They are so fucking stupid. They are not worth the energy. I am sick of people telling me to do or not do them. I am sick of people bitching about how they don't have them so their life sucks. I am sick of people. My friends say I changed because I don't just want to get fucked up. Sorry. I never really cared that much for it, it was just something to do. I just want to hang out with my friends for one night without drugs being mentioned. God. Besides, I remember Michelle giving up drinking for Brandon Henderson and I gave her a little shit for it one night, but when I saw she was serious I just drank the bottle myself (it's how I do)...so why do they have to hassle me now, when my boyfriend didn't even tell me not to, I just don't want to see him worry because he means more to me than a fake happy feeling that drugs give me? It's lame. And it's lame to feel like they don't see me as the same friend because I don't just want to sit around and do coke or whatever with them when I feel like the same person I always have been. I never did coke to begin with, we used to basically just drink. Sure, alcohol is addictive, but not like coke. And we would bitch about being sober more so because we were bored than the fact that we were sober, but now I get the feeling they are seriously bitching about being sober. And it scares me. And Andrew tells me to stick up for myself to them because he sees how hurt I get when they don't call back or when I leave early because they want to go do coke or something and that's not my scene. I want to say something but I really just want my old friends back. I feel like I keep pushing them away more everytime I speak up but maybe I can hold on longer if I let it slide. But I know my friends are better than that and I deserve better. I deserve better than "I am choosing to buy drugs over you." Thanks. Whatever. I am sick of all this crap. I am not going to think about anything bad. Just good stuff. Moving out. Great job. Graduating. Andrew. I am going to go lay down with him now because he is sleeping and looks so cute. Nothing bad can happen when I am lying in his arms.