stupid boys.
well, boys always complain that girls are confusing.
their worse, i dont care waht they say.
i had a boyfriend, i still cared for him. apparently, he stopped loving me. but it took a while, i got over it in a heartbeat. i finally realize who he really was, and he obviously isnt for me. then it was nice realizing all the guys who liked me, i mustve done something right freshmen year.
one boy, who ive been on and off with for all this year randomly started putting his arm around me, and holding my hand. ill admit it, i loved it. i never got that from anyone else, and it was finally happening, perfect timing too. i was vulnerable again.
This countinued for 3 weeks, i was happy. i absolutely fell for it. it just took one touch for me to be compleatly drowning in it. how can you resist a boy begging you not to leave him, and then him completely holding you for seconds that lasted minutes. it was the sweetest thing a boy has ever done to me, honestly. we sat there silent, holding each other, nothign else. with the only words "i dont want to leave," and "me either." but, then it slowly faded. he admitted to liking me, then changed his mind. i only got his attention on the weekends, and at school everything was confusing as hell. then i couldnt sleep. things became blurred right before my eyes. attention focused on him i assume, and he withdrawled. but i still had feelings for him. i, at least thought it meant some form of affection.
obviously not. why did he leave me? the second time a boy leaves love bleeding in my hands. i guess he never thought of it as that, just as a play 'buddy'. the way we did it i forced myself to believe it was something. potential crushed. the potential i wanted and was looking for, it was perfect, too. i forced myself to put away with him. but internally i ached him. i wanted to hold him one more time, knowing it would be the last. but impossible. i know he wont try this anymore, its obvious he doesnt want anymore to do with me.
just why. was it fake? why did he pull away from something good? was he scared of being hurt? vulerability? risk? wire is, not a single word was spoken to each other a bout these feelings.
why.
their worse, i dont care waht they say.
i had a boyfriend, i still cared for him. apparently, he stopped loving me. but it took a while, i got over it in a heartbeat. i finally realize who he really was, and he obviously isnt for me. then it was nice realizing all the guys who liked me, i mustve done something right freshmen year.
one boy, who ive been on and off with for all this year randomly started putting his arm around me, and holding my hand. ill admit it, i loved it. i never got that from anyone else, and it was finally happening, perfect timing too. i was vulnerable again.
This countinued for 3 weeks, i was happy. i absolutely fell for it. it just took one touch for me to be compleatly drowning in it. how can you resist a boy begging you not to leave him, and then him completely holding you for seconds that lasted minutes. it was the sweetest thing a boy has ever done to me, honestly. we sat there silent, holding each other, nothign else. with the only words "i dont want to leave," and "me either." but, then it slowly faded. he admitted to liking me, then changed his mind. i only got his attention on the weekends, and at school everything was confusing as hell. then i couldnt sleep. things became blurred right before my eyes. attention focused on him i assume, and he withdrawled. but i still had feelings for him. i, at least thought it meant some form of affection.
obviously not. why did he leave me? the second time a boy leaves love bleeding in my hands. i guess he never thought of it as that, just as a play 'buddy'. the way we did it i forced myself to believe it was something. potential crushed. the potential i wanted and was looking for, it was perfect, too. i forced myself to put away with him. but internally i ached him. i wanted to hold him one more time, knowing it would be the last. but impossible. i know he wont try this anymore, its obvious he doesnt want anymore to do with me.
just why. was it fake? why did he pull away from something good? was he scared of being hurt? vulerability? risk? wire is, not a single word was spoken to each other a bout these feelings.
why.